brownman is offline brownman Post #1  May 12,2009, 9:18am
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My girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me just under two weeks ago. I know thats not a long time but I've known her for a long time, we have a history and we get along great together. I think that her and I are perfect for each other and could potentially have a long lasting relationship. She said that she has feelings for me, that I'm a great boyfriend and that it's not that she doesn't want me but that she doesnt feel the connection that she needs. We were together just three days earlier and I could see that she still wanted me at that time. I talked to her a couple times since and I'm worried I may have seemed a bit insecure and needy in those conversations but she said that nows not the right time and that she's confused. The other thing is that she is incredibly busy with school and has been the whole time we've been dating but I have supported her and will continue to support her and she knows that. We only really had time to hang out once a week usually but we would text each other pretty much everyday. I'm not calling her at the moment and haven't seen her for a few days but I want her back so badly and I want to go about it in the right way. I know I should probably give her some space but I don't really know what to do. There's a party in a week and a half that I will see her at and her birthday is a week after that. Could you please give me some advice on how I should handle this situation because I really want her back because I feel that we are right for each other but I don't want to ruin my chances of ever being with her again by being too aggresive.


Any advicewould be greatly appreciated!
 
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BlueEyedLizzie is offline BlueEyedLizzie Post #2  May 12,2009, 9:55am
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No no no....just let it go. I know every bone in your body is screaming "Do something, ANYTHING, to get her back" but resist. Resist at all cost. You'll make an idiot out of yourself, turn into a stalker, and just generally make yourself miserable if you try to get her back. I hate it when people say this to me but it's true...if you two are meant to be she'll find her own way back.


Now go. Go distract yourself with life.
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #3  May 12,2009, 9:57am
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Dude, you've got to understand. When a woman says she's "confused" it means shes dating someone else. Plus the "doesn't feel the connection". You just may have came off as clingy and needy. Thats the fastest way to get a girl to loose attraction for you. Neediness isn't sexy. It's a big turn off.


You're young. The last thing you need right now is a girlfriend anyway. At your age, why aren't you dating 3,4, or 5 different girls right now anyway? Get out there and get busy. Stop thinking of her. She's moved on and you need to also. Going forward, never be or act clingy or needy again. That's the lesson you should learn here. Not how to get her back.
 
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glassonlyhalffull_fillit is offline glassonlyhalffull_fillit Post #4  May 12,2009, 9:59am
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Let her come to you, if you press the matter passively or aggressively, you'd bebreaking through boundaries she put up, and she will end up resenting you. Respect her wishes Brown. I know it's difficult, but you really have no choice.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #5  May 12,2009, 10:14am
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Like they said.
 
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blrdancer is offline blrdancer Post #6  May 12,2009, 11:08am
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You'll do far better by respecting her space and not pushing the issue. That's not to say she'll change her mind -- but at least she won't be upset or annoyed that you're pressuring her or ignoring her wishes.


If you had messed up or been the one to break things off -- then I would say go ahead and try to pursue. But that's not the case in this issue - and you have to respect her decision - especially if she is someone you say you care about.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #7  May 12,2009, 3:04pm

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blrdancer,614394 wrote :

You'll do far better by respecting her space and not pushing the issue. That's not to say she'll change her mind -- but at least she won't be upset or annoyed that you're pressuring her or ignoring her wishes.


If you had messed up or been the one to break things off -- then I would say go ahead and try to pursue. But that's not the case in this issue - and you have to respect her decision - especially if she is someone you say you care about.
Its true. And I would even suggest not going to that party. The only way she will come back is if she misses you. And the only way she can miss you is if you disappear.


It doesn't guarantee it will work out later, but it will give you time to control your emotions and heal, and will, give her time to miss you.


If its any consolation, I've contacted almost every guy I have ever broken up with at some point! It usually takes a month or more it usually happens. Unfortunatley, by that time they were too hurt or whatever to see past it and don't want anything to do with me anymore.


Keep an open mind, and let her be. Try to understand her point of view and what she is seeing going on her, not just your feelings.


Then dissappear for a minimum of a month!
 
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