randomguy1 is offline randomguy1 Post #1  May 11,2009, 3:04pm
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Hi everyone,





I am a 21 year old guy and for the past year all i did were random (no strings attached) flings. Now I actually want to be meeting women I'd actually want to spend some time with (start off dating before anything serious). I am recently in a new city and only know a few people.


How can I ramp up my dating life?
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #2  May 11,2009, 3:53pm
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randomguy1, wrote :




Hi everyone,





I am a 21 year old guy and for the past year all i did were random (no strings attached) flings. Now I actually want to be meeting women I'd actually want to spend some time with (start off dating before anything serious). I am recently in a new city and only know a few people.


How can I ramp up my dating life?

How do you ramp up your dating life? I think you've got the right idea by going on dates. I'd do it with as many different women as you can.


But I question a 21 year old guy's reason for wanting to get into a serious relationship. What's the rush?? I'd wait until I was finished with college, had a series of relatinships under my belt, travelled, got my dream job, partied, etc etc. You're only in your 20's once. There's nothing better than to be a guy, single, in his 20's. I hope you know how lucky you are!
 
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EMTZ is offline EMTZ Post #3  May 11,2009, 4:20pm
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First, make sure you are "clean"
 
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randomguy1 is offline randomguy1 Post #4  May 11,2009, 6:13pm
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I am clean no stds....but i just moved to a city and know no one. Do you suggest going to bars alone and meeting new women?


i havent signed up for eharmony yet but there are girls around my age (21-22) on here...would it be a good idea to use it as one way of meeting new girls?


i dont want anything too serious now but if i dated a girl a bit and it went well i'd consider calling her my girlfriend
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #5  May 11,2009, 6:39pm
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randomguy1,613690 wrote :


I am clean no stds....but i just moved to a city and know no one. Do you suggest going to bars alone and meeting new women?


i havent signed up for eharmony yet but there are girls around my age (21-22) on here...would it be a good idea to use it as one way of meeting new girls?


i dont want anything too serious now but if i dated a girl a bit and it went well i'd consider calling her my girlfriend





I would hold off on Eh for the time being. Even the young ladies here below 23 are seriously looking for a husband and father of their kids. If that's not where you are right now (and I hope you're not being only 21!) then you'd have more success going to meet new gals at some local night spots. At your age, there's nothing wrong with that.


Yes. Go out on your own at first. It's the best way to get over any shyness you might have (not saying you do). AND at the very least, if you're outgoing and friendly, you might make some new friends to hang out with. I suggest a karaoke bar. There are lots of people there just to have fun. It's not a meat market and more conducive to mingling and getting to meet people. And you'd have a chance to show off your bravery by singing. It doesn't matter if you suck. Everybody else there does too. But you can always serenade that hot young chick in the corner eyeing you all night. Just don’t drink too much and be friendly. You’ll be just fine.
Get the idea??
 
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randomguy1 is offline randomguy1 Post #6  May 11,2009, 8:12pm
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even university girls here are looking for a husband?! im definitely not there yet. i joined the site and got like 8 matches that sound like solid women but i cant see any pictures till i join...


i can go to random bars but i am a bit hesitant/shy about showing up alone to meet people there
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #7  May 11,2009, 8:26pm
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randomguy1,613873 wrote :

even university girls here are looking for a husband?! im definitely not there yet. i joined the site and got like 8 matches that sound like solid women but i cant see any pictures till i join...


i can go to random bars but i am a bit hesitant/shy about showing up alone to meet people there
You're in a university? Then you have no excuse. Make some guy friends, if you haven't yet, and get out there and meet some ladies. These guys will be your wingmen and you'll have the benefit of feeding off of each other's sucesses. If you don't have any guy friends yet, get out there alone anyway. Get over your hesitations. Just do it.


Yes, I'd say that the majorityof women on Eh (college age or not) are expecting to find someone to marry. That's how Eh advertises itself.


If you're a university student, then you've got at your disposal probably thousands of women within walking distance of where you live!! You're in an amusement park of dating and you want to search online for dates??? I don't know why you're even on your PC now. Why aren't you on a date with a gal tonight? (OK school night-stay home).
 
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randomguy1 is offline randomguy1 Post #8  May 11,2009, 8:32pm
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so what are you saying just approach random women everywhere?


i do live close to downtown of my city but i havent tried to really chat up many women here yet. university is out until september.
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #9  May 11,2009, 8:52pm
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randomguy1,613903 wrote :

so what are you saying just approach random women everywhere?


i do live close to downtown of my city but i havent tried to really chat up many women here yet. university is out until september.
Not everywhere...Be a little selective.


I'd stay away from old folks homes and domestic abuse shelters.


Seriously, it takes practice. Practice develops confidence. Confidence generates attraction. Generating attraction gets you dates. Getting dates generates confidence. And so on. Sooner or later you'll find that you have a lot of options and that your need to have a steady GF will diminish with the more gals you're able to date. Keep this up for a few years until AFTER you've graduated and started your career goals.
 
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randomguy1 is offline randomguy1 Post #10  May 11,2009, 9:34pm
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haha. well i am only 21. i graduate next year. so keep this up until im done my mba or something like 25?


I just dont see how you can get random girls downtown/at the mall to give you their number and later go on a date...i'd think they'd flake or something or that i'd have to meet them in class/at a common friends party





so far ive dated girls from online (takes WAY TOO MUCH WORK...talking for a week or two...meeting up with someone you never met....some flakes), friend circles, and class. i also find the girls online aren't as...ahem good looking as the ones from person...some on match.com aren't very visually appealing. at my age should i put zero focus on any online dating?


i guess the answer isnt online its to go approach women. any more advice would be helpful.
 
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