#1 Surprising Reason Men Said They Chose Their Wife

#1 Surprising Reason Men Said They Chose Their Wife

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#1 Surprising Reason Men Said They Chose Their Wife


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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #31  August 4,2009, 11:18pm
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Nothing to see here at all...

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Mr_Right wrote :
I chose my girl initially because she seemed very kind and caring.
Do kind and caring women actually exist in real life on Earth???
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #32  August 5,2009, 1:09am
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jayjay wrote :
The kind of 'nice' that means something to me is if someone can be this way even when she feels vulnerable or when things aren't going her way. Anyone can be nice,'courteous' and sweetwhen the going is easy.
That so reminds me of one of my favourite quotes from a movie, Bill Murray after been to Tibet to pursue a secluded spiritual life going back to the big bad world and saying "Anyone can be a holy man on a mountaintop."
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #33  August 5,2009, 1:31pm
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IcecreamMoon wrote :
Do kind and caring women actually exist in real life on Earth???
Yes, they do.
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #34  August 5,2009, 4:19pm
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From the men I have talked to, it seems most of them want a woman who is kind, supportive and loyal.
 
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butterflywhisperer is offline butterflywhisperer Post #35  August 5,2009, 4:41pm
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I agree with this wholeheartedly. For instance, in my job I work with emotionally sensitive clients and I just love people in general and there have been numerous times when I've been talking to the male clients about the program I represent and they're coming in to sign the documents, many more men than women opt to meet me in person rather than take the documents from the support staff and do it that way to get a glimpse of this nice, caring woman. I can hear this in their voices and though many clients forget the first time around, those with that 'interest' are always there right on time. It goes along with the territory, though one client told me he had a dream about me right in front of his wife even before he met me and I thought that was really creepy. I sent off that file with a note for someone else to contact this client in the future. I found it creepy but mostly disrespectful to his wife but maintained my professionalism nevertheless.

I hear that often about how nice I am and my problem hasn't been the 'commitment phobes' type but the ones who want to rush into love and marriage way before I am even ready and I'm just your average looking gal but I suppose the combination of someone who is well educated and paired with being considered 'nice' is just too irresistable to men. And I don't even think about being nice and considerate because it just comes naturally. Even writing about it now seems like I'm puffing myself up when I'm really not.

I'll leave it at that.
 
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AustinShaguar is offline AustinShaguar Post #36  August 5,2009, 5:27pm
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Any guy who is marriage material and has a good heart will appreciate a woman who has a good heart too. That is, a good, decent, and kind person or as some would call it "nice".
 
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CoachAmySchoen is offline CoachAmySchoen Post #37  September 17,2009, 10:31pm
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It's funny I have some "nice" male clients and it seems to me the women don't want nice! They want funny, exciting, rich! This is what men want. I am curious what women want? It's difficult to tell. They say they want a nice guy- but that is not what they are after. With my work - my couples share values and life goals/expectations.
 
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ChibiLi is offline ChibiLi Post #38  October 1,2009, 9:55pm
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^ -^ How refreshing! I thought most gestures and tendencies like that tend to go almost unnoticed -- let alone being a deciding factor for marriage. But yeah this is encouraging for genuinely nice women. Stay nice!
 
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FFN is offline FFN Post #39  December 16,2009, 7:45am
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lucky173 wrote :
real niiiiice... 1/2 the time I'm told by guys they don't see me as 'g/f material' because I'm too nice - go figure.


memo to self - articles are for entertainment purposes only.
I met my wife on eHarm and one thing that attracted me was that she was extremely thoughtful, respectful and humble. She isn't selfish or arrogant--she is nice. However, there is also a lot of chemistry between us. I propose this formula (yes, I am a huge nerd):

Nice + mutual chemistry = long term relationship
Mutual chemistry without nice = short term fling
Nice without mutual chemistry = friends or pleasant parting of ways
Not nice no mutual chemistry = Ugh!

When someone turns you down for being "nice", they really are saying that there isn't mutual chemistry. Please don't stop being nice. I agree with a previous comment that America is needs more nice people--it would be shame for you to think "nice" isn't valued. You may have to show it differently, though. Respectful and humble are different than desperate or fake nice to get something (think of a salesperson). Subtly and presentation are key. Good luck!
 
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Hank199 is offline Hank199 Post #40  December 16,2009, 5:51pm
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Year ago I broke off pursuit of a girl solely because of the way she bit the head off an overworked waitress at a restaurant.  It wasn't pretty.
Someone once said to watch how a person treats someone who can do nothing for them, if they treat them with respect and courtesy, or if they treat them like dog poop!
 
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