#1 Surprising Reason Men Said They Chose Their Wife

#1 Surprising Reason Men Said They Chose Their Wife

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#1 Surprising Reason Men Said They Chose Their Wife


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musmusculus is offline musmusculus Post #11  April 17,2009, 6:50am
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lucky173,581262 wrote :

real niiiiice... 1/2 the time I'm told by guys they don't see me as 'g/f material' because I'm too nice - go figure.


memo to self - articles are for entertainment purposes only.
Assuming you're not being a doormat....


I suspect the guys (and gals) who would reject you because you're "too nice" are doing so because some positive facet of your personality makes them painfully aware of a perceived or real flaw in their own. In short, such people are extremely insecure and need to deal with their issues before entering the dating world.


Did you ever know someone who simply couldn't accept a compliment without belittling him/herself? Same thing.
 
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Benevolence32 is offline Benevolence32 Post #12  April 17,2009, 11:09am
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I think the point is if she's a stone cold b&*&h she isn't relationship material .


Iagree with the article and it makes perfect sense to me.When I see a woman displaying unselfishness (becoming rarer than you think in America), modesty, humbleness, or humility, I really take note of it and she stands out from the rest of the pack. A woman that is attractive but doesn't act like she's attractive is golden. I've never heard a guy complain about a woman being too nice,if he does, send her my way please.
 
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PY is offline PY Post #13  April 17,2009, 12:34pm

Sometimes...just be a bigger person and take the high road.

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There's an article on YahooI think about why sometimes 'too nice' are turn off for women. Of course I read these articles now when I either need a good laugh or having problems going to the bathroom.
 
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A-L is offline A-L Post #14  April 17,2009, 3:07pm
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jayjay,581421 wrote :

It doesn't surprise mea lot that men would say this....however, there oftentimes seems to be a difference between qualities that people look for in a new partner...and those they appreciate in someone they've been with for an extended period of time. I have the impression that when people have been in a committed relationship for a while they value qualities such as 'niceness' in their partner more than they do if they're looking for someone new. So while men and women may value qualities such as 'niceness' once they've been in a relationship for a while....they may not value this as much and have other qualities more in mindwhen single and lookingto start a newrelationship.
Generally speaking, there may be a difference in what initially attracts a man to a relationship versus what keeps him in the relationship.


That being said, however, I think there's a certain point in a man's life when he stops looking for a date/girlfriend and goes wife shopping. These are the men who are satisfied with where they are in relation to their careers and finances and feel ready to start the next chapter of "wife and kids." I think that these men are the ones who will initially be attracted to kindness and all of those other factors that get downplayed too often when people are looking for a less permanent relationship.
 
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BILLGOLF is offline BILLGOLF Post #15  April 18,2009, 8:24am
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Maybe when someone says another person is TOO NICE they mean that person tries to please everyone in her life. There are people, I think in every person's life, who are very happy you are a pleaser and they have to do nothing in return.


Some of the younger folks I work with at the golf course say I spend too much time talking to golfers, yet those moments give me opportunities to learn what we can do better. Of course these youngsters spend their time on their cell phone with friends,ignoring customers, and think nothing of it. For example , yesterday I noticed a guy counting the number of golf clubs in his bag. They were a nice set of new expensive clubs and he said he wanted to make sure he was not missing any. I asked him if he his name on the clubs, he did not and said he was not aware he could order labels that he could puthis golfclub shafts that would give his info if they were lost. I said do a search on golf club labels and there would be some companies identified. There are many ways to be nice.


I am definitely seeking a NICE WOMAN, with mutual attraction.
 
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kifu is offline kifu Post #16  April 18,2009, 9:10am
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From my point of view this "nice" quality is something that has to do a lot with being at ease with someone, knowing you don't have to impress her or him... as time passes by i get to understand that even when online dating is quite safe at some point, many of us may still feel vulnerable when getting to know someone you're REALLY interested on. So if you have the chance to grow into the relationship and being able to relax... it's good to know or sense you're with someone that is "nice" meaning: honest, reliable, not willing to harm you, open to communication, caring, etc. etc.
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #17  April 18,2009, 9:35am
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I was married for over 12 years so I think I have a good perspective on this. After infatuation, sex, attraction kids, finacial stress, family members, familarity and everthing else that life throws at you gets old, what do you have left? Not very much. Men that are married can tolerate a lot. That's why they get married. They've promised to live the rest of their lives with only one other person! That's big! So with everthing being equal, having someone in your life that admires, respects, and is nice to you is the ultimate sense of well being.


Many partners in marriages forget this and take for granted their spouses. Those that are nice have the skills to communicate and work on things. Nice in a marriage is a code word for this. I suspect the men who said their wifes are nice also treat their wifes the same way. It's not about being a push over! Its about having the interpersonal skills in place to make a LTR sucessfull. That's actually more important than "romantic love".
 
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ice_in_ur_shorts is offline ice_in_ur_shorts Post #18  April 18,2009, 1:38pm
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You catch more flies with honey.


Flies anyone?
 
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BILLGOLF is offline BILLGOLF Post #19  April 19,2009, 9:02am
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ice_in_ur_shorts,584006 wrote :

You catch more flies with honey.


Flies anyone?
You may catch more flies with honey but you catch more women with money! Kind of like "if you got the money, I got the honey".


PS: I always caught more flies with my baseball glove.
 
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Just_A_Thought is offline Just_A_Thought Post #20  April 20,2009, 5:15pm
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Those gestures are common courtesy and just being kind or sweet. I don't find them to be earth-shattering personally. It's a way of life forsome of us to be "nice" if those are the definitive actions that prove niceness.
 
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