How to get him to understand the importance of a phone call??


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mak1146 is offline mak1146 Post #1  March 3,2009, 6:27pm
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We met on EH about 9 months ago. After 5-6 exchanges in Open Comminication, I told him that I was usually not foward but that I thought we should meet. I gave him my phone number and he called in a few days. That was the first on only a handful of calls that he initiated in our 9 months together.


He has a cell phone that he pays by the minute and only uses for emergency. So we do no texting and he does not use the phone for voice mail. I only call once or twice a week and that is usually to discuss what our plans maybe for the rest of the week. He does seem to like to talk on the phone and always seems happy to hear from me. How do I get him to understand that a phone call says "I'm think of you".


I've gone up to 10 days without calling him, just telling myself to wait and see how long it will take him to call. But then I get mad at myself, knowing I don't want to play games. And then I call andhe tells me he was thinking he should call. like if I'd waited one more day he would have called.


We have a great relationship, I really do believe in the 29 D of EH. They have matched us perfectly. He is divorced 3 years after 26 years of marriage. I 'm 13 years divorced after a 16 year marriage. This is the first relationship for both of us after our divorces.


When we are together I feel wanted and that I have his full attention. How do I get him to understand it is important for me to feel this way when we are not together? And that a simple phone call can make the difference!!!!!!
 
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guitarjunkie is offline guitarjunkie Post #2  March 3,2009, 6:35pm
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Eeerm, sorry for stating the obvious, but why don't you just tell him that it's important to you? I'm not much of a phone talker myself, but I usually discuss it with my dates fairly early on and if it's important to them I go the extra mile and call more than I usually would.
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #3  March 3,2009, 6:35pm
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Just say it the way you wrote it here. He's a big boy and he'll understand where you're coming from. He obviously likes you if you two spend quality time together. The first thing you probably need to understand is that his lack of calling you doesn't mean that he doesn't like you. It's probably just his way. But you need to let him know how you feel anyway, and give him a chance to do something about it. Good luck.
 
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MicMan is offline MicMan Post #4  March 4,2009, 5:03am
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The bottom line is that you have to tell him something because he can't read minds. If this is something important to you, tell him. It doesn't have to be done in a confrontational way either. Just mention to him that it makes you feel special when he calls.
 
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mak1146 is offline mak1146 Post #5  March 4,2009, 6:40am
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MicMan,514953 wrote :


The bottom line is that you have to tell him something because he can't read minds. If this is something important to you, tell him. It doesn't have to be done in a confrontational way either. Just mention to him that it makes you feel special when he calls.


I've brought the subject up twice, once at about 3 months of dating and the second time at about 6 months. He seemed receptive, but no action.


Is this normal for men not to initiate phone calls??


Or is it a "he's just not that into you" issue?
 
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glassonlyhalffull_fillit is offline glassonlyhalffull_fillit Post #6  March 4,2009, 7:17am
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Don't expect from others, what they cannot/are willing togive, and you won't be disappointed.


Throwing some questions out here. Remember, they're JUST questions.......


Are youtoo needy?


Are you insecure when you're apart?


Are you exclusive?
 
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