Why Successful Women Can't Find a Great Man

Why Successful Women Can't Find a Great Man

This discussion is based on an Advice article:
Why Successful Women Can't Find a Great Man


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
eharmonyadvice is offline eharmonyadvice — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  February 2,2009, 4:56pm

Moderator

Joined: Oct 2007

Pasadena, CA

Posts: 848

See profile

You're smart, independent and a great catch. So why do men seem to choose a less "together" or successful woman over you? Brought to you by Christian Carter
 
  Reply With Quote
cynthiainpa is offline cynthiainpa Post #2  February 3,2009, 2:17pm
cynthiainpa's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Feb 2009

Posts: 1

See profile



1) Men Are Misreading You? How can the man misread you when he steered clear of you and went after the easier "B" woman. Tell me how he would know if you "bring the office home" if you haven't been on a single date!


2) It’s About The Attraction, Not Your Success True, he is not attracted to success but it is the thing that scares him away. Again how do you propose that we "create amazing experiences" when he is too afraid to ask you out on a date!
 
  Reply With Quote
gr8guy is offline gr8guy Post #3  February 3,2009, 3:20pm
gr8guy's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Oct 2008

Posts: 992

See profile



They haven't met me?
 
  Reply With Quote
I_have_the_simplist_of_tastes_ is offline I_have_the_simplist_of_tastes_ Post #4  February 3,2009, 4:08pm
I_have_the_si…'s Avatar

The last(ing) embrace...unearthed in the ruins of Pompeii

Pacesetter

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 352

See profile



I think this is a case where the grass looks greener on the other side... in other words some successful women may think that the "B"'s are getting all the men... and the "B"'s are probably thinking the reverse. I think it is also more a situation where "water seeks it's own level". Successful women desire successful men, and vice-versa for the men... so I don't think the problem is as great as the author indicates. He does say "based on the women he has talked to"...not exactly a controlled study group.


The problem isn't for successful women to find successful men... it is in finding the successful man that they are compatible with and that they have an attraction to.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #5  February 3,2009, 4:16pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

NJ

Posts: 30,713

See profile



Here I am.
 
  Reply With Quote
Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #6  February 3,2009, 4:22pm
Mr_Right's Avatar

says this is the best wedding picture!

Virtuoso

Joined: Jun 2008

USA

Posts: 4,386

See profile



I tell you right now, after going on many first dates in a year, I'm definitely attracted to a woman who is smart, independent, and "together". Independent women who have their life together rule.
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #7  February 3,2009, 4:27pm
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile



I think this article has missed a big part of what the reality is. I think that at least half the reason why men are with 'less together' women....is because WOMEN want a man who is 'more together' than they are.


I don't think it'svery often the case that a woman would like to be with a man who is 'less together' than herself...but she can't because this man is with a 'less together' woman. I think most women wouldn't want aman who less together than themselves in the first place. And....for these women who really have their act together and want a man who similarlyhas his act together.....the pool of such men is very small.
 
  Reply With Quote
ann123 is offline ann123 Post #8  February 3,2009, 4:32pm
ann123's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Apr 2008

Michigan

Posts: 90

See profile



I'm successful and I've been told that I don't look aproachable. That might be one reason.
 
  Reply With Quote
angelofmerci is offline angelofmerci Post #9  February 3,2009, 4:36pm
angelofmerci's Avatar

loves the feel of the wind blowing in his face while riding the curves

Veteran

Joined: Jul 2008

Posts: 1,302

See profile



Carter is making an assumption here that the woman is already dating a guy and that he is aware of her success. Successful people usually are driven people, the movers and shakers of the world. They tend to pour everything into work often to the detriment of any relationship.


I have personally seen one successful woman pour so much into work that her marriage suffered badly. I was surprised the spouse did not have an affair or decide to give up on the marriage. What these people often do not realize in this day and age is that corporations or companies could care less how many hours you are working unless its less than 40 hours a week. All these corporations are interested is making a profit. If you think they care that you are working 60, 80, or a 100 hours a week to get the job done you are sadly mistaken. Every since the Oil Bust of the 80's corporations and companies have been going through regular downsizing in order to keep profits up. With all this downsizing the workload was redistributed increasing each person's work. The corporations still expected you to meet all your normal deadlines plus do all the new work and meet the new added deadlines. All youare doing is short changing the relationship. Your stress level is up along with your blood pressure and your immune system is usually non-existent.


Say you are not one of those people who work late at the office but rather you bring your work at home. Once again you are short changing your relationship. What messages does this send to your boyfriends? It tells him you are placing him second, third or lower in your life. He might as well not be involved with you.


One more thing. Those designer suits and dresses may look really good on your but try wearing something truly feminine every once and a while.
 
  Reply With Quote
3rd_the_charm is offline 3rd_the_charm Post #10  February 3,2009, 4:45pm
3rd_the_charm's Avatar

Nothing is finished until it comes out right.

Quick Study

Joined: May 2008

Philadelphia PA

Posts: 229

See profile



cynthiainpa,468989 wrote :


1) Men Are Misreading You? How can the man misread you when he steered clear of you and went after the easier "B" woman. Tell me how he would know if you "bring the office home" if you haven't been on a single date!


2) It’s About The Attraction, Not Your Success True, he is not attracted to success but it is the thing that scares him away. Again how do you propose that we "create amazing experiences" when he is too afraid to ask you out on a date!


With all due respect, a woman who is successful in her career but hasn't been successful in her private life just doesn't have it all together yet.


There are also a lot of men who have been successful but haven't got the private life thing together either, so what's the deal?


A very successful person who devotes too much time to being successful to have developed the other part of their life has made their choices, and I doubt most of them would really want it any other way. That's why they got there in the first place.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« My dates tell me my looks and personality don't match! | Ask a Dating Expert | Seeking Your Advice.... »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“The tennis ball story is a good analogy, RD, and that's how I interpret "gut feeling" -- a conclusion/sense of something that's a thought, not a feeling; though it will have feelings associated with ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion

“Agree. Given where you are emotionally, I would cease all communication with Mr. Trade Show. You're vulnerable. He's up for a challenge. It's playing with fire. You'll be in a bad place in the ... ” –  emma_hazards

Join the “Received lovely email from former poofer” discussion

“How about phone calls, then?” –  barbarella_42

Join the “Advice on Response time” discussion

“I have never spoken to a woman like he has. Yeah, I have never spoken to a woman like that either. It is a hard call to whether he is just as jerk, or whether he is a player. Both are feasible ... ” –  ScottK

Join the “So, men. Explain this to me, please!” discussion

“I have come to this same conclusion. Thank you.” –  bibittyboo

Join the “Confused about date #2” discussion

“Harmonygirl, I do not usually make up my mind on blanket situations but instead would examine each one on it's own merits, so I cannot answer your question. However, just in the going about of daily ... ” –  Ephemera

Join the “Atheism, Religion and Tolerance” discussion

“I was ok until the kiss on the cheek part....That doesn't sound like your defenses were up at all... It's one thing for a guy to walk up and start with the cheesy lines....But as soon as I say, "no ... ” –  Ingytravel

Join the “So this guy walks into a bar . . .” discussion

“ No. It is not wise. You have to throw all your eggs into one basket for love to work at all. Relationships are inherently riskier than careers. You can't use the same rules. You might lose ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Becoming Exclusive” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 5:39am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0