Why Successful Women Can't Find a Great Man

Why Successful Women Can't Find a Great Man

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Why Successful Women Can't Find a Great Man


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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #21  February 3,2009, 5:30pm

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3rd_the_charm,469387 wrote :

chawks64,469371 wrote :


As a woman not making a large income, I am sometimes offended by the assumption I don't "have it together." I think I have quite a lot to offer, but just not money.


There are a number of reasons a man may not choose a woman successful in her career. He may be threatened by her success, showing his own insecurity. She may feel her success is the main thing she has to offer, and most men would not be thrilled.


Or he mght just think the career-challenged 40-something blonde that battles pitbulls is spunky and hot! (I hope, I hope...)





A man might think a successful woman is one of those jerks that caused the recent collapse of the economy.


Could be.
that would be MY ex....and one of the reasons I'm not terribly thrilled by money or "success" education and success though, is different. Money or earning power does not equal success, everyone's definition of successful is different.


and while some men get an ego boost from datinga girl of lesser status...some get an ego boost from dating a girl of a higher status too. Just look at Mr. Right fawning over that redheaded Dr. in that other thread....


Anyway, I think Chawks is hot.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #22  February 3,2009, 5:44pm
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cp30,469473 wrote :

3rd_the_charm,469387 wrote :


chawks64,469371 wrote :


As a woman not making a large income, I am sometimes offended by the assumption I don't "have it together." I think I have quite a lot to offer, but just not money.


There are a number of reasons a man may not choose a woman successful in her career. He may be threatened by her success, showing his own insecurity. She may feel her success is the main thing she has to offer, and most men would not be thrilled.


Or he mght just think the career-challenged 40-something blonde that battles pitbulls is spunky and hot! (I hope, I hope...)





A man might think a successful woman is one of those jerks that caused the recent collapse of the economy.


Could be.


that would be MY ex....and one of the reasons I'm not terribly thrilled by money or "success" education and success though, is different. Money or earning power does not equal success, everyone's definition of successful is different.


and while some men get an ego boost from datinga girl of lesser status...some get an ego boost from dating a girl of a higher status too. Just look at Mr. Right fawning over that redheaded Dr. in that other thread....


Anyway, I think Chawks is hot.
Hah, that's true.


But I'm only marrying for love.


And yes, Chawks is hot.
 
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Bluecondor is offline Bluecondor Post #23  February 3,2009, 5:44pm
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Oh man - I am the total opposite of this issue. I love really successful women - lawyers, doctors, women in sales - you name it. And - I agree that it doesn't just have to be success as defined by money and status. I find a woman who is a really good teacher or a really good nurse unbelievably attractive. I enjoy being around women at work, and the ones who are great at what they do just blow me away (even among women who I work with who are purely work friends and colleagues - I just have so much admiration for the ones who are great at their jobs).





If there was a dating website based around successful professional women, I would join on day one.
 
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Sweet_Pea is offline Sweet_Pea Post #24  February 3,2009, 5:46pm
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Tis one of the universe's greatest mysteries, and one of the saddest realities of our ever so sophisticated and morally bankrupt society.


At an event the other evening the lady at the coatcheck commented that she was shocked to see so many women without a proper escort. She said it wasn't like that in her day. I think that was the day before men traded hats for baseball caps. And before women fooled themselves into thinking that the pursuit of virtue is a feckless Victorian anachronism. And here we are.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #25  February 3,2009, 5:56pm
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Bluecondor,469506 wrote :

Oh man - I am the total opposite of this issue. I love really successful women - lawyers, doctors, women in sales - you name it. And - I agree that it doesn't just have to be success as defined by money and status. I find a woman who is a really good teacher or a really good nurse unbelievably attractive. I enjoy being around women at work, and the ones who are great at what they do just blow me away (even among women who I work with who are purely work friends and colleagues - I just have so much admiration for the ones who are great at their jobs).





If there was a dating website based around successful professional women, I would join on day one.
I'm the opposite. Whether a woman is successful, in terms of her occupation (or income) means nothing to me. I don't careif she's very successful or unsuccessful interms of a career.
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #26  February 3,2009, 6:01pm
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Aw, you guys are the best!
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #27  February 3,2009, 6:08pm
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cp30,469473 wrote :

and while some men get an ego boost from datinga girl of lesser status...some get an ego boost from dating a girl of a higher status too.
We get a ego boost from dating, period. We're really not that hard to figure out.


It's like "Woo hoo! I got a date!"
 
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I_have_the_simplist_of_tastes_ is offline I_have_the_simplist_of_tastes_ Post #28  February 3,2009, 6:09pm
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3rd_the_charm,469225 wrote :

I_have_the_simplist_of_tastes_,469143 wrote :


I think this is a case where the grass looks greener on the other side... in other words some successful women may think that the "B"'s are getting all the men... and the "B"'s are probably thinking the reverse. I think it is also more a situation where "water seeks it's own level". Successful women desire successful men, and vice-versa for the men... so I don't think the problem is as great as the author indicates. He does say "based on the women he has talked to"...not exactly a controlled study group.


The problem isn't for successful women to find successful men... it is in finding the successful man that they are compatible with and that they have an attraction to.


Frankly, the proper redistribution of good genes requires that those with better genes mate with those without. It's probably just built into out rules of attraction, and it's undoubledly a good thing.


The duties required of conjugal living don't require that both parties be able to solve the NYT crossword puzzle at the same pace. Once you realize this, the possibilities for successful matches grows ever so much larger one should expect to find relatively few matches between so-called top performers.


In any case, the ability to earn money doesn't really have a direct correspondence to great intelligence by any means. A person who thinks that earning money is the mark of intelligence is probably overshooting the mark in any case.
I think you have read a lot more into this than was ever introduced. First off, one would need to define "successful". Not all people would automatically assume that one's income defines whether or not they are successful.


Second of all, you seem to assume that "successful" people seeking other "successful" people are going to have the exact same skills, interest, abilities, etc. judging from your illustration of the crossword puzzle. The majority of "successful" couples that I personally know are quite individual from one another. They tend to compliment each other because of their differences, but that does not mean that they are not both successful. In fact it tends to make their relationship that much stronger, because it increases their "assets"... and I'm not referring to monetarily.


I agree that one's ability to earn money isn't equal to one's intelligence. I don't recall anyone making that statement. Nor does ones ability to earn money neccessarily make that person "successful".
 
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Bluecondor is offline Bluecondor Post #29  February 3,2009, 6:38pm
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cp30,469473 wrote :




and while some men get an ego boost from datinga girl of lesser status...some get an ego boost from dating a girl of a higher status too.

There is no doubt about this for me. It is a good day for me if I see who a woman who is good at her job or an activity looking my way. I think to myself "She is awesome and she likes me. Not bad Blue. Not bad."
 
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3rd_the_charm is offline 3rd_the_charm Post #30  February 3,2009, 6:51pm
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I_have_the_simplist_of_tastes_,469584 wrote :

3rd_the_charm,469225 wrote :


I_have_the_simplist_of_tastes_,469143 wrote :


I think this is a case where the grass looks greener on the other side... in other words some successful women may think that the "B"'s are getting all the men... and the "B"'s are probably thinking the reverse. I think it is also more a situation where "water seeks it's own level". Successful women desire successful men, and vice-versa for the men... so I don't think the problem is as great as the author indicates. He does say "based on the women he has talked to"...not exactly a controlled study group.


The problem isn't for successful women to find successful men... it is in finding the successful man that they are compatible with and that they have an attraction to.


Frankly, the proper redistribution of good genes requires that those with better genes mate with those without. It's probably just built into out rules of attraction, and it's undoubledly a good thing.


The duties required of conjugal living don't require that both parties be able to solve the NYT crossword puzzle at the same pace. Once you realize this, the possibilities for successful matches grows ever so much larger one should expect to find relatively few matches between so-called top performers.


In any case, the ability to earn money doesn't really have a direct correspondence to great intelligence by any means. A person who thinks that earning money is the mark of intelligence is probably overshooting the mark in any case.


I think you have read a lot more into this than was ever introduced. First off, one would need to define "successful". Not all people would automatically assume that one's income defines whether or not they are successful.


Second of all, you seem to assume that "successful" people seeking other "successful" people are going to have the exact same skills, interest, abilities, etc. judging from your illustration of the crossword puzzle. The majority of "successful" couples that I personally know are quite individual from one another. They tend to compliment each other because of their differences, but that does not mean that they are not both successful. In fact it tends to make their relationship that much stronger, because it increases their "assets"... and I'm not referring to monetarily.


I agree that one's ability to earn money isn't equal to one's intelligence. I don't recall anyone making that statement. Nor does ones ability to earn money neccessarily make that person "successful".

The ability to earn money is almost universally considered a mark of success in this country. What planet are you from?


Secondly, doing crossword puzzles is a genearl mark of certain forms of pecuniarily rewarding skills, but only some, and they are generally related to the skills that allow those that make more money to make more money.


You are the one reading far too much into what can only be generalized statesments due to the scope and range of the discussion in this format.


You also are essentially trying to lecture me on the very point i made. I suppse that's a complement. Thanks.
 
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