Open Communication Timing

Open Communication Timing

This discussion is based on an Advice article:
Open Communication Timing


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
eharmonyadvice is offline eharmonyadvice — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  November 19,2007, 5:08pm

Moderator

Joined: Oct 2007

Pasadena, CA

Posts: 848

See profile



Dear eHarmony,


I am now in the Open Communication stage with some of my matches. It has been about one week since I have communicated and I haven’t heard anything from my matches since then. How long does it take, on average for matches to respond while in Open Communication? How long should I wait for the response before closing communication?


Sincerely,


Jackie in New York City
 
  Reply With Quote
eharmonyadvice is offline eharmonyadvice — Advice Official Moderator Post #2  November 20,2007, 10:33am

Moderator

Joined: Oct 2007

Pasadena, CA

Posts: 848

See profile

Timing is everything
 
  Reply With Quote
beloved0000 is offline beloved0000 Post #3  November 20,2007, 6:58pm
beloved0000's Avatar

wants to be a rock star again

Pacesetter

Joined: Nov 2007

Omaha, NE

Posts: 314

See profile

Sometimes I think their membership runs out and they just kinda dissappear without saying anything. I hate it when they don't write back w/o saying y. I've been at this 4 awhile, and I can tell u from experience, depending on the match and the circumstances, some I emailed on eharmony 4 a really long time, then closed. Some I gave my phone # 2 right away, some I even met right away. Others I did personal email with. Some I talk 2 on the phone, others not. So far none have panned out. I've even run across eharmony matches on other sites and talked 2 them on there. One guy lived outta town, but it just so happened that I was going 2 be within a 30 minute drive of where he lived, so we met in this nuetral place and hung out 4 several hrs watching marching band competitions. Nice guy, but not 4 me. Heavy sigh...
 
  Reply With Quote
AMS is offline AMS Post #4  November 27,2007, 9:25am
AMS's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Nov 2007

Posts: 7

See profile

eHarmony suggests giving people two weeks to respond to a communication. After being on the site for nine months I did not find an "average" time for someone to get back to me. Depends on the situation. I did always give them two weeks, and then if I didn't hear anything I would send a nudge. Then close the match after another week. But that's just me, then I could say I gave it every chance.
One match and I were on the computer all day on a Saturday and went from first questions to open communication and then a phone call within 8 hours. Just depends. It is a process and all requires patience and try not to take it personally. For me the patience has panned out. I met the man of my dreams just when I was least expecting it and I feel very fortunate.
 
  Reply With Quote
nfs731 is offline nfs731 Post #5  December 3,2007, 1:35pm
nfs731's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2007

Houston

Posts: 7

See profile

Well this has been encouraging. I have a match now that strikes my interest. I think i'll be wait a little while longer to see if he communicates again. Just from his profile I would hate to close that match and I wasn't sure if i should place it on hold either. Judging from these response i might just hold it open for a while longer and see what happens. I did close one match after sending a nudge and then days later he responded to the close message. I wondered if i had closed to fast and if i should reopen it. This process does require patience for sure.
 
  Reply With Quote
Isabelle is offline Isabelle Post #6  December 3,2007, 7:45pm
Isabelle's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Nov 2007

Posts: 6

See profile

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one waiting for responses. I do think it is rude to just keep someone"hanging on" and not reply with something. Be honest. If not interested close me out! If you can't even respond to a request for communication via email, I can't imagine what kind of communicator you are! AMS I have a question. After 9 months have you had much communication, or have a long list of waiting for responses? I would appreciate your advice. I've only been at this for about 2 weeks and I am finding it a little disappointing. I may not be "drop dead beautiful", but I am attractive. HELP!
 
  Reply With Quote
Linda is offline Linda Post #7  December 5,2007, 7:19pm

needs to visit eHA more often!!

Veteran

Joined: Nov 2007

Kansas City, MO

Posts: 1,177

See profile

To Isabelle: I've been with eHarmony about 1 1/2 yrs and I've seen all kinds of response time. I think the ones that really get me are the matches that never send me the first questions, nor I to them, regardless how patience you are; after about 3-4 weeks, I used to go ahead & close them out. Now, I'm trying to be more "open-minded" and send them the 1st questions within the first week of the "match." Do guys like it better if you initiate the communication? Apparently not, since I can wait up to 3-4 weeks and if I didn't close them, I'd still be waiting. By the way, most men consider me very attractive, so I'm beginning to wonder about eHarmony's advice even though I'm aware we all have "busy" lives. So, hang in there for awhile, at least.
 
  Reply With Quote
jessica1976 is offline jessica1976 Post #8  December 6,2007, 8:34am
jessica1976's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2007

UK

Posts: 2

See profile

In one way m vey happy that m meeting new people n come to know abt them but then on other side m so devestated that they really not bother too reply at all,do i hav to change my qoestions while communicating with my matches everytime is it gonna effect somewhere coz m really facing a hard time finding the right man for me,ull not believe m always jus stuck on 2nd round n if i get to open communication they come out to b very strange from the profile wat exactly they are,do u think some people like to join for fun n play love games on eharmony.......help me thanx jessica
 
  Reply With Quote
aquaman is offline aquaman Post #9  December 8,2007, 6:01pm
aquaman's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2007

Posts: 1

See profile

Be patient and use the "Nudge" ladies!!! Do you know that the man is not on a two week vacation? Do you know that he is not down with a flu bug? Do you know that he is not tied up after work helping out his friends and neighbors? Do you know how many matches he gets each day and has to manage? You may become his special match, but for now, give him time to manage and make his choices. You do in real life.

To me, a match that closes communication after 7-10 days without a nudge is somewhat revealing. It reveals impatience and someone who is not very understanding. So hence, the guy will not likely request you to reopen the match even when he felt a chemisty there. Are there not enough impatient people in society today that we have to produce more within Eharmony? Where is the harmony in that?
 
  Reply With Quote
dianesp is offline dianesp Post #10  December 9,2007, 7:19am
dianesp's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2007

Union, IL

Posts: 1

See profile

It good to hear that I'm not the only one not getting respones to my request to communicate. I have tried the "nudge" and so far no luck. Has anyone gotten to the open communication stage and then have no respose back? What then?
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« He does not call between dates... | Ask a Dating Expert | How do I Stop Comparing Dates to my Ex? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I did everything. And the repairs where sure expensive. Grr!I paid for them too. :-/” –  LadyVee

Join the “Confusing Man (LONG STORY)” discussion

“I think people change their "type" depending on what they think they need at that point in their lives. It's so subjective that it might be best if we all just let someone else choose a mate for us ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Changing your "type"” discussion

“In the end, aren't we all winners?” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Last Post Wins!” discussion

“4: sex um. both our values hold sex for marriage, so the next best thing to do when you are driven by lust, i guess is making out? If sex equals marriage, then if his goal is to have sex with you, ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Confused~ He likes me or He wants sex?” discussion

“You know, profile writers remind me of junior high school. The kids who came into an exam clueless, and just rambled on and on, hoping that in there somewhere(?) might possibly be something that the ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “How much profile do you like to read?” discussion

“Chemical burns when one splashes around in nature are no fun! Tree farming, huh. Tax breaks or love of all things tree... Tax break. (I can make these calls, because I'm on the internetz.) He ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “What kind of add you see on this board?” discussion

“The standard method is to eliminate alcohol and bread (and any other gassy carbs) from your diet. You can also try saran wrapping your midsection for a few days. I've heard that works but I haven't ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Belly Fat” discussion

“My boyfriend will be meeting my ex-boyfriend for the first time this weekend so I will let you know how it goes. He almost met him awhile ago so I thought about this before. I told my boyfriend that ... ” –  alethea

Join the “Hold on, hold on, hold on!” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 12:01am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0