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eharmonyadvice eharmonyadvice is offline
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Dear eHarmony,


I am now in the Open Communication stage with some of my matches. It has been about one week since I have communicated and I haven’t heard anything from my matches since then. How long does it take, on average for matches to respond while in Open Communication? How long should I wait for the response before closing communication?


Sincerely,


Jackie in New York City
- November 19th, 2007, 07:08 pm
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eharmonyadvice eharmonyadvice is offline
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Timing is everything
- November 20th, 2007, 12:33 pm
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beloved0000 beloved0000 is offline
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Sometimes I think their membership runs out and they just kinda dissappear without saying anything. I hate it when they don't write back w/o saying y. I've been at this 4 awhile, and I can tell u from experience, depending on the match and the circumstances, some I emailed on eharmony 4 a really long time, then closed. Some I gave my phone # 2 right away, some I even met right away. Others I did personal email with. Some I talk 2 on the phone, others not. So far none have panned out. I've even run across eharmony matches on other sites and talked 2 them on there. One guy lived outta town, but it just so happened that I was going 2 be within a 30 minute drive of where he lived, so we met in this nuetral place and hung out 4 several hrs watching marching band competitions. Nice guy, but not 4 me. Heavy sigh...
- November 20th, 2007, 08:58 pm
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AMS AMS is offline
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eHarmony suggests giving people two weeks to respond to a communication. After being on the site for nine months I did not find an "average" time for someone to get back to me. Depends on the situation. I did always give them two weeks, and then if I didn't hear anything I would send a nudge. Then close the match after another week. But that's just me, then I could say I gave it every chance.
One match and I were on the computer all day on a Saturday and went from first questions to open communication and then a phone call within 8 hours. Just depends. It is a process and all requires patience and try not to take it personally. For me the patience has panned out. I met the man of my dreams just when I was least expecting it and I feel very fortunate.
- November 27th, 2007, 11:25 am
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nfs731 nfs731 is offline
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Well this has been encouraging. I have a match now that strikes my interest. I think i'll be wait a little while longer to see if he communicates again. Just from his profile I would hate to close that match and I wasn't sure if i should place it on hold either. Judging from these response i might just hold it open for a while longer and see what happens. I did close one match after sending a nudge and then days later he responded to the close message. I wondered if i had closed to fast and if i should reopen it. This process does require patience for sure.
- December 3rd, 2007, 03:35 pm
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Isabelle Isabelle is offline
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I'm glad to see I'm not the only one waiting for responses. I do think it is rude to just keep someone"hanging on" and not reply with something. Be honest. If not interested close me out! If you can't even respond to a request for communication via email, I can't imagine what kind of communicator you are! AMS I have a question. After 9 months have you had much communication, or have a long list of waiting for responses? I would appreciate your advice. I've only been at this for about 2 weeks and I am finding it a little disappointing. I may not be "drop dead beautiful", but I am attractive. HELP!
- December 3rd, 2007, 09:45 pm
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Linda Linda is offline
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To Isabelle: I've been with eHarmony about 1 1/2 yrs and I've seen all kinds of response time. I think the ones that really get me are the matches that never send me the first questions, nor I to them, regardless how patience you are; after about 3-4 weeks, I used to go ahead & close them out. Now, I'm trying to be more "open-minded" and send them the 1st questions within the first week of the "match." Do guys like it better if you initiate the communication? Apparently not, since I can wait up to 3-4 weeks and if I didn't close them, I'd still be waiting. By the way, most men consider me very attractive, so I'm beginning to wonder about eHarmony's advice even though I'm aware we all have "busy" lives. So, hang in there for awhile, at least.
- December 5th, 2007, 09:19 pm
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jessica1976 jessica1976 is offline
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In one way m vey happy that m meeting new people n come to know abt them but then on other side m so devestated that they really not bother too reply at all,do i hav to change my qoestions while communicating with my matches everytime is it gonna effect somewhere coz m really facing a hard time finding the right man for me,ull not believe m always jus stuck on 2nd round n if i get to open communication they come out to b very strange from the profile wat exactly they are,do u think some people like to join for fun n play love games on eharmony.......help me thanx jessica
- December 6th, 2007, 10:34 am
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aquaman aquaman is offline
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Be patient and use the "Nudge" ladies!!! Do you know that the man is not on a two week vacation? Do you know that he is not down with a flu bug? Do you know that he is not tied up after work helping out his friends and neighbors? Do you know how many matches he gets each day and has to manage? You may become his special match, but for now, give him time to manage and make his choices. You do in real life.

To me, a match that closes communication after 7-10 days without a nudge is somewhat revealing. It reveals impatience and someone who is not very understanding. So hence, the guy will not likely request you to reopen the match even when he felt a chemisty there. Are there not enough impatient people in society today that we have to produce more within Eharmony? Where is the harmony in that?

- December 8th, 2007, 08:01 pm
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dianesp dianesp is offline
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It good to hear that I'm not the only one not getting respones to my request to communicate. I have tried the "nudge" and so far no luck. Has anyone gotten to the open communication stage and then have no respose back? What then?
- December 9th, 2007, 09:19 am
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