Open Communication Timing

Open Communication Timing

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Open Communication Timing


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akd25 is offline akd25 Post #11  December 9,2007, 10:35pm
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I need some advice..anyone, please!! I am bisexual (not open about with with my family and friends) and I dont know when I should bring this up with matches that I'm interested in. I have been talking to few guys that I really want to move forward with, but I dont want to waste anyones time. I mean if I think I found 'the perfect' match, but he is against my sexuality, i would be wasting his time and my own. I was in a 3 year relationship and I finally came out and talked to my ex about my sexuality. He didnt like it, told me something was wrong with me, and obviously that relatioship ended. I just dont want a repeat of that...so my question is, when is a good time to talk about my sexuality? During open communication? Before the first date? Or should I drag it out until I really know I like the guy?
 
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akd25 is offline akd25 Post #12  December 9,2007, 11:07pm
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I hate to say this, but I am one of those ppl who takes a lot of time to get back back to people. Part of this is because I work really random and long hours at times, and the other reason is because I want to take time out and give respones to questions with some thought and emotion. I could easily answer the questions every day with a few words, but I like to put thought and really try to get to know the other person too. I think we all have to be positive, patient, and understanding of the ppl we are trying to get to know. And if there is no repsonse, say after like 10 days . . the person is probably not interested!!
 
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gbny is offline gbny Post #13  December 10,2007, 6:15pm
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Hi. I've been on eharmony about 3 months now and am finding the guided communication process frustrating. At first it was fun, but now answering all those questions seems like a hassle. I feel that by the time I get to open communication stage with someone they have already met someone else and moved on. There is a match that I am very interested in and we were communicating daily, as soon as he asked to exchange phone numbers and I replied with mine he went silent. Help, what do I do. I don't want to be impatient, but that's a bad sign, right?
 
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Link45 is offline Link45 Post #14  December 13,2007, 3:59am
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This guided communication is frustrating!! If people are looking to meet someone the least they could do is respond. If you are really sincere you can't be that busy that you can't at least answer the first questions.
 
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SML515 is offline SML515 Post #15  December 14,2007, 8:26am
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I did eharmony for 3 months over the summer and then canceled. I got very frustrated with matches that never responded and a lot of matches I was not interested in. I did meet someone towards the end of my subscription. It did take almost 3 months to meet him, and a lot of frustrations and patience. It did not worked out, but it was a good experience. So I figured I give it another try and joined again this week. But this time around I realized that some of the matches never respond because they are not paying members and were not able to respond. Back in Nov when they did the free communication weekend I turned my matching back on and got a few communication request on the last day. I wasn't able to respond to those matches because I was not signed up after the free weekend ended. I got a couple of nudges, but I was so busy with work and the holidays that I wasn't able to sign back up until this week. Those matches still had me open and I was able to respond to them. So pretty much what I'm trying to say is if a match never responds or closes you don't take it personal. They are probably not a paying member. They can read your profile, but can't see your photos. It might take them getting a few matches that spark interest in writing before they join. So my new strategy is that if I'm interested in a match and I've requested communication and they don't respond or close me I'll leave it open. They might just sign up and I would still be in their matches who requested communication. So we'll see. So again don't take it personal.
 
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mikec0921 is offline mikec0921 Post #16  January 30,2008, 4:39am
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This topic seems to be dead but it is a good one. I too have more than a few matches that I sent the first set of questions to that never responded. This is very frustrating and I wonder whether these matches are even "real". I also have had matches that have gone to the 3rd and even the Open Communication phase then stopped responding. I always wonder if they met someone, good for them, or if their subscription ended, wish they would have let me know before hand, or just got tired or not interested in me. For the ladies, I like it when you initiate first contact and I always respond. Another example, I had a match that at the time I was not interested in because something came up and I was out of contact for a number of months. The match was about a year old when I decided to give her a try. She responded and we are communicating now. Based on that one match I am not so quick to close matches.
 
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LovesMusic01 is offline LovesMusic01 Post #17  February 19,2008, 11:55am
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That's the place I am in now. I need some advice. I did post a topic, but it hasn't been reviewed yet. There's this guy who I like after reading his profile. He is also very attractive. I sent him the questions, etc. I initiated open communication with him and he hasn't responded. I really want to get to know this guy and I don't want to close him up. What should I do?
 
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argytunes is offline argytunes Post #18  February 19,2008, 1:08pm
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eharmonyadvice, wrote :

Dear eHarmony,

I am now in the Open Communication stage with some of my matches. It has been about one week since I have communicated and I haven’t heard anything from my matches since then. How long does it take, on average for matches to respond while in Open Communication? How long should I wait for the response before closing communication?

Sincerely,
Jackie in New York City
Hi Jackie!

At least YOU fall into the 80% that can be matched category?

I've already been told that I'm in the group that CAN'T!

I guess I should feel lucky that I can post a comment or to in the Advice Community...?

argytunes
 
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Im So Money is offline Im So Money Post #19  February 19,2008, 10:08pm
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akd25,43782 wrote :
I need some advice..anyone, please!! I am bisexual (not open about with with my family and friends) and I dont know when I should bring this up with matches that I'm interested in. I have been talking to few guys that I really want to move forward with, but I dont want to waste anyones time. I mean if I think I found 'the perfect' match, but he is against my sexuality, i would be wasting his time and my own. I was in a 3 year relationship and I finally came out and talked to my ex about my sexuality. He didnt like it, told me something was wrong with me, and obviously that relatioship ended. I just dont want a repeat of that...so my question is, when is a good time to talk about my sexuality? During open communication? Before the first date? Or should I drag it out until I really know I like the guy?
This would be a good "new topic"... I'm going to private message you, if you don't mind, so we don't railroad this other thread =)
 
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harmonicsexplorer is offline harmonicsexplorer Post #20  April 5,2008, 11:00am
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My experience has clearly shown that, unless certain understandings have been communicated, if it takes someone more than two days to respond to your communications, close them, you're wasting your attention on them. All the women I've met, have communicated within a couple days, continually, during communications; all the women who did not do that, took longer, invariably closed at some point, without any pressure, per se, from me.
 
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