tbesq is offline tbesq Post #81  February 19,2009, 7:32am
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tbesq,427721 wrote :




For every "women lie about their weight" (though I don't! nor about age!) thread, there should be a "guys lie about the size of their... ahem... personality". Free tape measures anyone? Ladies, please note that a US dollar is 6" ;-)


Well, according to many women (at least when asked by a man), size doesn't matter. So why should it matter if he's lying about it?


Fat or muscular is not so much the issue as the lie. In my early naive days in the mid 90s, a man contacted me online, with a face shot that seemed attractive enough. He was a football coach, so I assumed that he would not be obese. In those days I assumed that everyone online was as honest as I. I spent time getting new photos if I so much as changed my hairstyle, so my photos would be a true reflection of what I looked like at the time.


Then I found myself about to travel to a city near to his...that's when things began to unravel.


He invited me to visit him, and I agreed.


Then...


He sent me a new photo.


I froze.. could this be the same man? This was a HUGE fellow.


He confessed that he weighed somewhere near to 400 lbs. He still wanted me to visit. 'Absolutely not! ', I thought. I completed my business and flew back home. However I had forgotten to block him on my IM. Some time later, he sent me a nastygram calling me a female canine.


I should have reminded him that he is a liar, himself, but I figured he might not understand the meaning of that word.

Of course I agree with you here. I toyed with online dating when it was in its infancy, and had similar experiences. Then when I chose not to pursue anything with the liars, I received the usual accusations of being shallow and hurtful. You're absolutely right, it's not always about the weight, it's about the lie.


FYI, many football coaches are grossly out of shape. I had assistant coaches in high school who were at least 350 lbs. For instances, many offensive and defensive line coaches were offensive and defensive linemen themselves, so they were already up there in weight. Once their playing days were over, they start packing on the pounds.
 
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angelofmerci is offline angelofmerci Post #82  February 19,2009, 7:34am
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Being a nurse and a heart attack survivor I can understand that there are medical reasons for being overweight but inactivity, stress and poor eating habits accounts for more cases of being overweight than medical reasons. I would not pass someone by if they were 10 to 20 lbs overweight but I would give a pass to someone who was 30 to 50 plus over weight especially if I found out they had been this way for a long time and had no medical condition that could be the cause of it. These people would bring to any relationship things that would make some physical activities out of the question.
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #83  February 19,2009, 7:57am
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Being a nurse and a heart attack survivor I can understand that there are medical reasons for being overweight but inactivity, stress and poor eating habits accounts for more cases of being overweight than medical reasons. I would not pass someone by if they were 10 to 20 lbs overweight but I would give a pass to someone who was 30 to 50 plus over weight especially if I found out they had been this way for a long time and had no medical condition that could be the cause of it. These people would bring to any relationship things that would make some physical activities out of the question.
The inequity of online dating comes primarily from the double standards. Like you, I generally give a pass to women who are 10 pounds or so heavier than they said, because most womenI've met onlineare never completely honest about their weight or body type. But if you, as a man, overexaggerate your height in the slightest you're toast, even by those same women who weren't honest about themselves. There has been a recent thread on that very subject, where the OP was mad because the man she met was about an inch shorter than his profile indicated. She had a lot of female supporters.
 
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loriburnsbooks is offline loriburnsbooks Post #84  February 28,2009, 10:32pm
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ddrjj, wrote :

Saw recent posting from a woman, asking "why men all want women with Barbie doll figures"?


This is the type of whine heard frequently from overweight women who aren't succeeding in the dating world. The reality is that most men aren't looking necessarily for "Barbie" type figures; they just don't like fat girls, which seems to be an increasing problem among American women (and men, but to a lesser degree statistically)


To me and I know many other men, it's the biggest dealbreaker in terms of initial attraction to a woman. And it's not just a cosmetic thing; it also speaks volumes about a woman's respect for herself and her body. I admire a person when they can have both strong mind and sound body, as the ancients used to advise. And of course there are serious long-term health consequences of overweight, so it really is a major personal health concern too.


I know there's a movement afoot to "empower fat"--i.e., try to convince the world that being overweight is just fine. If a woman wants to remain fat, that's her prerogative--just don't expect that the male world will then conform to your opinion of what's attractive! And I can tell you many men aren't truthful about these preferences--they just don't call back.


I'm sure this will generate a flurry of responses, mainly from fat chicks, about how OK they are, that I'm superficial for these opinions, beauty is on the inside, etc. etc. Well save your time ladies--no one is saying it's the only thing that's important in a relationship and of course inner attributes ultimately carry the day. But that doesn't get around the point of what initially attracts many men (or repels them!), whether you like that fact or not


So drop the Doritos, and get to the gym!

i;m not into Barbie types.....Pam Anderson types maybe.....
 
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cameracollector is offline cameracollector Post #85  March 1,2009, 11:24am
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ddrjj, wrote :


Saw recent posting from a woman, asking "why men all want women with Barbie doll figures"?


This is the type of whine heard frequently from overweight women who aren't succeeding in the dating world. The reality is that most men aren't looking necessarily for "Barbie" type figures; they just don't like fat girls, which seems to be an increasing problem among American women (and men, but to a lesser degree statistically)


To me and I know many other men, it's the biggest dealbreaker in terms of initial attraction to a woman. And it's not just a cosmetic thing; it also speaks volumes about a woman's respect for herself and her body. I admire a person when they can have both strong mind and sound body, as the ancients used to advise. And of course there are serious long-term health consequences of overweight, so it really is a major personal health concern too.


I know there's a movement afoot to "empower fat"--i.e., try to convince the world that being overweight is just fine. If a woman wants to remain fat, that's her prerogative--just don't expect that the male world will then conform to your opinion of what's attractive! And I can tell you many men aren't truthful about these preferences--they just don't call back.


I'm sure this will generate a flurry of responses, mainly from fat chicks, about how OK they are, that I'm superficial for these opinions, beauty is on the inside, etc. etc. Well save your time ladies--no one is saying it's the only thing that's important in a relationship and of course inner attributes ultimately carry the day. But that doesn't get around the point of what initially attracts many men (or repels them!), whether you like that fact or not


So drop the Doritos, and get to the gym!





i;m not into Barbie types.....Pam Anderson types maybe.....
you do know Pam is all silicone, don't you? much irony there....
 
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EMTZ is offline EMTZ Post #86  March 1,2009, 11:37am
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i;m not into Barbie types.....Pam Anderson types maybe.....


you do know Pam is all silicone, don't you? much irony there....


And don't forget Hepatitis C.
 
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