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D_Lion D_Lion is offline
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D_Lion - Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

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shygrrl wrote :

Why is it that on Cheaters or shows about the morbidly obese or even Jerry Springer do we see a lot of overweight and obese women with husbands or boyfriends?


Obviously some guys will date or marry overweight and morbidly obese women, but the woman with 10 extra pounds seems to get left out.

There’s Dumb, and then there’s DUMB.

- January 11th, 2009, 05:03 pm
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BlackberryAddict BlackberryAddict is offline
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cp30 wrote :

oh REALLY!? Get back to me with those statistics....hurry. I can't wait to see it. Fat women must have made leaps and bounds in the last year to overtake the male fatties.
tsk tsk tsk now you know that those guys are not fat, they have 'athletic builds'... there are no fat men!
Ever see Kathy Griffin? LOVE her! She talks about Dr Phil, and how he was saying to her (or tosomeone near her) that he's "just a jock" or some such... she says "what fat, balding, old man's football team does he play for?!"

I get a kick out of the guys who say women do not see themselves clearly (labeling themselves the next category down)... I think more women are hard on themselves and it's the guys who most timedon't see themselves clearly.

This was on a local bbs years ago. I met a guy who, and I swear I am not exaggerating any of this, could barely walk toward me at the park, huffing andpuffing just the 20' or so from the parking lot to the bench. (I'm thinking, of course this isn't the guy... LOL) He honestly looked like one of those guys you see on tv, in the bed, denudo because they have no clothes to fit. I couldn't even begin to guess weight because I have never seen someone so large in real life, just on tv. He looks at me and says my name and I'm like "you are name??" He's like "yeah, I'm a little bigger than I said, but I'm losing weight"... OMG, a little bigger?! you guessed it, he had his profile as 'athletic'.
One of his legs was bigger than my waist! And when I flat out said "you lied on your profile" he says real nasty tone "you're fatter than what I like in a woman, you need to lose some weight!" I would've been nice, butafter he said thatI laughed, said "you're an azz" and walked off.

At that meeting I was at height/weight chart and I am THIN when I am so it was funny he tried to jab at my self esteem LOL!Right now I'm 28lbs over because of meds, and though I prefer to be about 10lb over (too thin right at height/weight chart) I get hit on much more at 20-30lbs over, so I don't think guys really know weights. I don't like that much (30lb) because it feels uncomfortable even though I still look good... I can tell when I gain 2lbs so 30 feels bad for me! Maybe I should have 2 sets of clothes but I think that promotes keeping the weight on.
- January 11th, 2009, 05:27 pm
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BlackberryAddict BlackberryAddict is offline
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I had a huge post that went missing.... what is it with the boards this weekend???
- January 11th, 2009, 05:31 pm
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sparkle66 sparkle66 is offline
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ddrjj, wrote :


Saw recent posting from a woman, asking "why men all want women with Barbie doll figures"?


This is the type of whine heard frequently from overweight women who aren't succeeding in the dating world. The reality is that most men aren't looking necessarily for "Barbie" type figures; they just don't like fat girls, which seems to be an increasing problem among American women (and men, but to a lesser degree statistically)


To me and I know many other men, it's the biggest dealbreaker in terms of initial attraction to a woman. And it's not just a cosmetic thing; it also speaks volumes about a woman's respect for herself and her body. I admire a person when they can have both strong mind and sound body, as the ancients used to advise. And of course there are serious long-term health consequences of overweight, so it really is a major personal health concern too.


I know there's a movement afoot to "empower fat"--i.e., try to convince the world that being overweight is just fine. If a woman wants to remain fat, that's her prerogative--just don't expect that the male world will then conform to your opinion of what's attractive! And I can tell you many men aren't truthful about these preferences--they just don't call back.


I'm sure this will generate a flurry of responses, mainly from fat chicks, about how OK they are, that I'm superficial for these opinions, beauty is on the inside, etc. etc. Well save your time ladies--no one is saying it's the only thing that's important in a relationship and of course inner attributes ultimately carry the day. But that doesn't get around the point of what initially attracts many men (or repels them!), whether you like that fact or not


So drop the Doritos, and get to the gym!





I am only 125 lbs and have had over 700 men sent to me on this site and most of them are short, fat, or old looking. I am attractive and many of the men thought I looked beautiful on the sites where you can talk to the guys, but on this site I get very few tall good looking guys that are in my age bracket. I am 66 yrs old and don't look it, and they send me men who are 50 or 76 yrs old, One is too young and the other too old. The men who are overweight look as bad as the women who are overweight, so what is the problem with this site anyway. I thought this was a Christian site and I would meet a good guy, but I am really disgusted with it, anyone else feel that way? It is paid until March, then I am out of here. I think the discussion groups are better than the matching department. What the heck are they matching anyway! Most of the guys never even answer the first questions, where are they getting these people from?
- January 11th, 2009, 08:07 pm
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sparkle66 sparkle66 is offline
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ddrjj, wrote :

Saw recent posting from a woman, asking "why men all want women with Barbie doll figures"?


This is the type of whine heard frequently from overweight women who aren't succeeding in the dating world. The reality is that most men aren't looking necessarily for "Barbie" type figures; they just don't like fat girls, which seems to be an increasing problem among American women (and men, but to a lesser degree statistically)


To me and I know many other men, it's the biggest dealbreaker in terms of initial attraction to a woman. And it's not just a cosmetic thing; it also speaks volumes about a woman's respect for herself and her body. I admire a person when they can have both strong mind and sound body, as the ancients used to advise. And of course there are serious long-term health consequences of overweight, so it really is a major personal health concern too.


I know there's a movement afoot to "empower fat"--i.e., try to convince the world that being overweight is just fine. If a woman wants to remain fat, that's her prerogative--just don't expect that the male world will then conform to your opinion of what's attractive! And I can tell you many men aren't truthful about these preferences--they just don't call back.


I'm sure this will generate a flurry of responses, mainly from fat chicks, about how OK they are, that I'm superficial for these opinions, beauty is on the inside, etc. etc. Well save your time ladies--no one is saying it's the only thing that's important in a relationship and of course inner attributes ultimately carry the day. But that doesn't get around the point of what initially attracts many men (or repels them!), whether you like that fact or not


So drop the Doritos, and get to the gym!

I am only 125 lbs and have had over 700 men sent to me on this site and most of them are short, fat, or old looking. I am attractive and many of the men thought I looked beautiful on the sites where you can talk to the guys, but on this site I get very few tall good looking guys that are in my age bracket. I am 66 yrs old and don't look it, and they send me men who are 50 or 76 yrs old, One is too young and the other too old. The men who are overweight look as bad as the women who are overweight, so what is the problem with this site anyway. I thought this was a Christian site and I would meet a good guy, but I am really disgusted with it, anyone else feel that way? It is paid until March, then I am out of here. I think the discussion groups are better than the matching department. What the heck are they matching anyway!
- January 11th, 2009, 08:07 pm
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yeoww yeoww is offline
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I get that you're not attracted to heavy women, and that's your personal preference, one shared by many men. But it's not fair or accurate to label all overweight individuals as lazy with low self-esteem, who simply need to ditch the Doritos and leave the sofa to become muscular and svelte.


I have a lifetime a friend, 5'4", who consistently hovers around 200 pounds.She can outwalk and outwork me, lives an active lifestyle, eats way less than I do - but shesimply cannot lose weight. She's tried every diet known to man, and has finally learned to love herself as she is. So (apart from the attraction factor, which, again, is a personal thing), it's a good idea to find out the facts before making generalizations or judgments.


That being said, I think we can all agree that carrying too much weight is unhealthy, healthy diet and exercise help weight loss for most of us, andthe USA is experiencing an obesity epidemic. I'll also add that obesity isn't gender-specific; I see an awful lot of men with big tummies walking around!
- January 11th, 2009, 08:41 pm
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yeoww wrote :

I get that you're not attracted to heavy women, and that's your personal preference, one shared by many men. But it's not fair or accurate to label all overweight individuals as lazy with low self-esteem, who simply need to ditch the Doritos and leave the sofa to become muscular and svelte.


I have a lifetime a friend, 5'4", who consistently hovers around 200 pounds.She can outwalk and outwork me, lives an active lifestyle, eats way less than I do - but shesimply cannot lose weight. She's tried every diet known to man, and has finally learned to love herself as she is. So (apart from the attraction factor, which, again, is a personal thing), it's a good idea to find out the facts before making generalizations or judgments.


That being said, I think we can all agree that carrying too much weight is unhealthy, healthy diet and exercise help weight loss for most of us, andthe USA is experiencing an obesity epidemic. I'll also add that obesity isn't gender-specific; I see an awful lot of men with big tummies walking around!
Thank you!
- January 11th, 2009, 10:54 pm
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curious_girl curious_girl is offline
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Ok.....





I sooo tried to stay away from this. I can't resist it any longer. I am over weight; and I am fabulous. I don't have a problem with men being attracted to me when I go out; I have a problem actually finding time to go out. Yes, I eat healthy, and yes I exercise. I had some life events that put me way over what I am supposed to weigh; and it has been a long hard struggle to start pulling that number down. But....every single time I go out with my friends, who range from smaller to bigger, I get asked out, I get positive male attention. I don't get that attention from decent, funny, intelligent men, but hey, I'm picky. You want to vent on preferences....you guessed it....I don't give a flip about height; but I don't want a string bean man either....and guess what: it's the string beans who like us bigger girls. I really really hate to be stereotyped. Seriously. I'm getting healthier for me, but you don't hear me hating myself or how I look now, either. No offense meant to the stringbeans, male or female, but as a "fat chick" (gagging on referring to myself that way) I thought I'd see what fun people get out of labels. =)
- January 12th, 2009, 01:51 am
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Aussie_Devilette Aussie_Devilette is offline
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BlackberryAddict wrote :

Right now not everyone has access to good food. Something came to my attention several years back, that people in some poor neighborhoods do not even have access to ANY fresh fruits and veggies. How can that be? In the US there seems to be a market on every corner... there is in these neighborhoods also, but the little markets aren't carrying fresh items. A lot of these people have no transportation to get to other areas so they are limited in their choices. So with the food stamps they're buying little bags of chips as snacks instead of carrots, blueberries, etc. When it comes to children and food that hits me in my gut andI cannot stand the thought of children going without, but right behind that is I can't stand the thought of growing little bodies not getting the propernutrition they need!
Now this stunned me - I saw this last night but didn't have time to respond.


I ask the same question - how can this be? How can people not have access to fresh food in the richest nation on earth? Isn't there something dramatically wrong with this picture?


Why isn't anything being done about it?


Blackberry, if you think I am harsh, perhaps you've never had a child looking at an early grave because of obesity. I do. She is nearly 30. Harsh? No, I'm not harsh, I'm dealing with REALITY. She says she thinks she is the opposite of an anorexic - they look in the mirror and see a fat person - she looks in the mirror and sees a thin person - there are other issues, but the bottom line is she needs to bite the bullet and get active, even if it is only starting at 10 minutes a day and building up slowly.


No, it doesn't happen overnight, but if people want to LIVE, that is what is required.


Yes, I have the statistics on alcohol too if you like, but I believe that would be thread-jacking.


In answer to your question about me - I work out 5 - 6 times a week, I have for years, unless I can't like last year when I had a hysterectomy. Yes, I know about medications causing weight gain - and I did EXCLUDE anyone with a medically diagnosed cause, did I not? About 10 years ago I was put on a drug that caused a whole heap of problems, including weight gain, lethargy, eyesight problems - you name it - it was an androgen I was given in New Zealand in preparation for a surgical procedure. That same drugwas not used in Australia because of the disastrous side affects.


Did I give up? No. Did I use the medication as an excuse? No - I hired a personal trainer and worked harder. Because it took 9 months to get the drug out of my system, it took 9 months for me to lose anything noticeable - but then it fell off. So yes, I know about drugs, I have personal experience.


I'm 53, I also know about slowing metabolism.


I have co-workers that work 60 -70 hours a week and get up at 5.30am to train before work. One just completed an IronMan event - he often works until 10 or 11 pm at night. I'll come home, eat, go to the gym, then come home and work until 10pm when required. If I miss a night during the week, I'll go twice on a Saturday or Sunday to make up for it.


It doesn't matter how "soft" we want to make it - this is a HUGE problem in Western society and it shouldn't be. Softness hasn't solved the problem, has it? It has just gotten worse.
- January 12th, 2009, 04:46 am
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Aussie_Devilette Aussie_Devilette is offline
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curious_girl wrote :

Ok.....





I sooo tried to stay away from this. I can't resist it any longer. I am over weight; and I am fabulous. I don't have a problem with men being attracted to me when I go out; I have a problem actually finding time to go out. Yes, I eat healthy, and yes I exercise. I had some life events that put me way over what I am supposed to weigh; and it has been a long hard struggle to start pulling that number down. But....every single time I go out with my friends, who range from smaller to bigger, I get asked out, I get positive male attention. I don't get that attention from decent, funny, intelligent men, but hey, I'm picky. You want to vent on preferences....you guessed it....I don't give a flip about height; but I don't want a string bean man either....and guess what: it's the string beans who like us bigger girls. I really really hate to be stereotyped. Seriously. I'm getting healthier for me, but you don't hear me hating myself or how I look now, either. No offense meant to the stringbeans, male or female, but as a "fat chick" (gagging on referring to myself that way) I thought I'd see what fun people get out of labels. =)
Wonderful! The best part is, you are doing it for you!


You don't have to be a string bean - personally I find that just as unhealthy - as we know from the deaths of some underweight models. Being underweight is just as unhealthy and dangerous.


SOME men rave about not dating anyone over 110 pounds - I have a girlfriend who is 6ft tall - at 110 pounds she'd not only look ridiculous, she'd be extremely, dangerously underweight with a BMI of 14.9.


Like you, I don't like string bean men either. I like a heathly, active, body.


Most men don't actually like skinny women - look at the women who top the sexiest female lists each year - you don't see Posh Spice taking out the award.


Let's not go totally the other way and aim for size 0 (to use USA sizings) either - just as bad and totally unrealistic.
- January 12th, 2009, 05:04 am
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