OP...it doesn't sound like you're all that broken. As others have said, if a guy ditches you just because you won't sleep with him on demand, that's a good thing. It saves you a lot of heartache down the line.


As for the other, what you're putting out there, I understand completely. I'm a fair hand at the pithy one-liners and occasional off-color talk as well. Here are some things you might consider trying:


Ask 4 or 5 of your trusted friends to give you some feedback on how you present yourself. I've done this on numerous occasions. You have to pick friends who will be honest with you...not just say what you want to hear. I've made it easier for them by saying something like...tell me what you think are my three best and three worst qualities, or what are five words you'd use to describe me. If you give them some quantifiable guidelines instead of asking a generic "what is wrong with me" question, you may get some insight into how you're percieved by others.


Another option is working with a counselor who's trained in cognitive behavioral theory. These folks can role-play different scenarios with you and then give you feedback on your responses and help you to see how some of what you're doing may be getting in your way. An objective third-party can sometimes give you a more unbiased view.


Another thing you might work on getting clear about is what your purpose is in dating...do you just want to have fun, are you looking for a long-term dating relationship with some level of commitment, or are you looking for a marriage partner. Once you are clear on what you want, you can start to work on defining selection criteria and engaging in behavior that supports your wants, i.e. not meeting men in clubs and bars if you're looking for a marriage partner.


I most emphatically agree with Chitown's statement that you tryng to make a relationship work is working against you. A relationship is between two people. If both people are not aimed at the same target, one person trying to get there is never going to make it work (unless you want to spend your entire life being the one who does all the work).


Good luck!