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Pris Pris is offline
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I am having a difficult time figuring out what men want. Should women be more willing to take things slowly? Does a women who knows what she wants and conveys it (tactfully) scare men off? In the "real world", I agressively pursue the things I want toaccomplish, but online dating has thrown me a curve.Guys, what do you think?
- March 21st, 2008, 08:22 pm
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2good4owngood 2good4owngood is offline
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I don't know what most men want, but i do know what I want, and that is open, honest and agressive. I believe that is the only way to be, if someone can't handle that then I strongly suggest this person is not for you. Life is too long to be unhappy (with somone you settled for). I believe we desirve what we are willing to tolerate.
- April 13th, 2008, 08:19 pm
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jamfrisco jamfrisco is offline
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I can't speak for everyone but for me I want a woman who is honest, comfortable with who she is and what she wants both in life and in a man and honestly, agressiveness by a woman in my opinion is awesome. It is refreshing to hear a woman ask this question, too many times I believe women wait for the man to be aggresive, which is fine but there should be balance. Seriously if a particular man is what you want, then by all means go for it, what do you have to lose anyway?
- April 13th, 2008, 09:29 pm
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argytunes argytunes is offline
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argytunes Misty and I are still trying to find a house closer to the beach

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Hi Pris!

I think the answer to your question depends upon the man you'd like to get to know a little better?

Many of us enjoy an aggressive woman...especially if we want to "match your aggression with a little of our own?" Others prefer a DON'T RUSH ME...I'VE BEEN HURT IN THE PAST...AND I NEED A LITTLE MORE TIME TO GET TO KNOW YOU" approach.

On-line dating establishesa friendship...but there are no assurances (aka GUARANTEE) that friendship will continue....or just disappear? A one-to-one face-to-face encounter will either seal the deal or 'melt down the matchup!'

argytunes
- April 14th, 2008, 02:53 am
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yetanotherdavid yetanotherdavid is offline
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Pris, wrote :
I am having a difficult time figuring out what men want. Should women be more willing to take things slowly? Does a women who knows what she wants and conveys it (tactfully) scare men off? In the "real world", I agressively pursue the things I want toaccomplish, but online dating has thrown me a curve.Guys, what do you think?
I don't think either gender wants over the top agressive, clingy or needy. I don't think either gender wantsrejected, ignored, little or no attention. We are all looking for someone who will share the chase. Just be careful of members of both genders who believe in catch and release.
- April 14th, 2008, 10:17 am
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mystikchik mystikchik is offline
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I think most men, not all, prefer that a woman be docile, a bit stupid, certainly more stupid than themselves and that they never, never disagree with their man. He has a penis so he must be smart or so he thinks.Fortunately, I know many men who do not fit this middle America bible belt male model.

I don't see why any woman would change who she is just to keep some guy happy. The men who date me, more than once, know that I am not docile; I am not stupid and I will not hesitate for a moment to disagree with them, if they act or say something stupid or racist or sexist.

Does this scare some guys away? Sure. I don't care, though. I don't ask that guys change for me and I won't change for them.
- April 14th, 2008, 12:18 pm
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yetanotherdavid yetanotherdavid is offline
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mystikchik wrote :

I think most men, not all, prefer that a woman be docile, a bit stupid, certainly more stupid than themselves and that they never, never disagree with their man. He has a penis so he must be smart or so he thinks.Fortunately, I know many men who do not fit this middle America bible belt male model.

I don't see why any woman would change who she is just to keep some guy happy. The men who date me, more than once, know that I am not docile; I am not stupid and I will not hesitate for a moment to disagree with them, if they act or say something stupid or racist or sexist.

Does this scare some guys away? Sure. I don't care, though. I don't ask that guys change for me and I won't change for them.
There used to be many baby boomer women who were liberated, free, open, agressiveand think the way you do but something turned them all into right wing conservative male bashers. I'm interested in your theory of what happened to change them.
- April 14th, 2008, 01:00 pm
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mystikchik mystikchik is offline
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yetanotherdavid wrote :
mystikchik wrote :

I think most men, not all, prefer that a woman be docile, a bit stupid, certainly more stupid than themselves and that they never, never disagree with their man. He has a penis so he must be smart or so he thinks.Fortunately, I know many men who do not fit this middle America bible belt male model.

I don't see why any woman would change who she is just to keep some guy happy. The men who date me, more than once, know that I am not docile; I am not stupid and I will not hesitate for a moment to disagree with them, if they act or say something stupid or racist or sexist.

Does this scare some guys away? Sure. I don't care, though. I don't ask that guys change for me and I won't change for them.
There used to be many baby boomer women who were liberated, free, open, agressiveand think the way you do but something turned them all into right wing conservative male bashers. I'm interested in your theory of what happened to change them.
I don't know David, at least, not with any certainty. I am not even sure that baby boomer chicks ever were all that liberated, or free, or open. I know some women who are forty or so years old, which I think makes them a baby boomer woman and they aren't right wing, or conservative, or christian. Now some of them bash guys, for sure. They are survivors of bad marriages and fantasies about living happily ever after that didn't live up to the bill of sales. They often blame guys for this loss of innocence.

I think though that a lot of people, including a lot of women, follow social and cultural scripts. In the sixties and seventies it was cool to be a flower child/hippie and make with the free love stuff and I am liberated and burn my bra thingee.

Along come the 80s and it was cool to be a spend till you drop YUPPIE or DINK. Now in Republican America it is cool to be right wing, christian and a loud mouthed proponent of sex is bad unless licensed.

I think the chicks you are talking about were followers in the 60s, 70s, 80s and are so today. Whatever is the script they will follow it.



- April 14th, 2008, 01:31 pm
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mystikchik mystikchik is offline
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yetanotherdavid wrote :
mystikchik wrote :

I think most men, not all, prefer that a woman be docile, a bit stupid, certainly more stupid than themselves and that they never, never disagree with their man. He has a penis so he must be smart or so he thinks.Fortunately, I know many men who do not fit this middle America bible belt male model.

I don't see why any woman would change who she is just to keep some guy happy. The men who date me, more than once, know that I am not docile; I am not stupid and I will not hesitate for a moment to disagree with them, if they act or say something stupid or racist or sexist.

Does this scare some guys away? Sure. I don't care, though. I don't ask that guys change for me and I won't change for them.
There used to be many baby boomer women who were liberated, free, open, agressiveand think the way you do but something turned them all into right wing conservative male bashers. I'm interested in your theory of what happened to change them.
Short answer, David, I I don't know. I am not really sure I know too many boomer chicks. The ones I do tend to be professors and they tend to be liberal, non christian and if they bash guys it is more because they have been burned in bad marriages and no longer buy the silly idea that marriages always have a happy ever after ending. They don't and these chicks know it.

I suspect though that the women you are talking about were always followers. They acted out the script their times gave them. In the sixties the script called on them to be flower children, to burn their bras, to be open and free. So even if they never did any of these things they at least bought a hippie dress and like to think that once upon a time they were free, open, liberated etc.

In today's Bush run America it is in to be conservative and against sex and for fighting wars all over the world and to saying to hell with the environment. So we have a lot of older chicks with old flower child dresses mouldering away in the closet acting like they have always been bible thumping, sex hating born again Bush voting christians.

So I don't really think they changed all that much. I think they were probably always chamaleon-like reflecting back the times they live in.

But I might be completely wrong on this, too. Like I said I don't personally know too many baby boomer chickes.

- April 14th, 2008, 01:45 pm
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Emme Emme is offline
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Pris, wrote :
I am having a difficult time figuring out what men want. Should women be more willing to take things slowly? Does a women who knows what she wants and conveys it (tactfully) scare men off? In the "real world", I agressively pursue the things I want toaccomplish, but online dating has thrown me a curve.Guys, what do you think?
I personally find it better for myself to just be myself. With some men I am more naturally agressive. With other men who are more shy, I am less agressive because I react to how he presents himself. I just am who I am. If I tried to fake it to be something I'm not I wouldn't feel I was being honest to either him or me.
- April 14th, 2008, 05:35 pm
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