How does a guy prefer to be let down?


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THEAJ is offline THEAJ Post #1  November 30,2008, 9:38pm
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I have had met men that I truly like a lot, and the feeling is mutual. That results in talking all the time, frequent texting, hours on the phone, etc. Recently through EH I have met guys that, after we get to OC, if I'm not really "into them', I stillwantto give them a chance (like maybe they're shy or it takes a few dates before I know if the chemistry's there or not. However, if I only like you "so-so', frequent texting, calls, etc., make your chances go WAY down.


I seem to have a few guys now that I'm not too sure about yet. I have a job, a life, I need to eat, etc. In other words, I don't always have time to answer calls or texts. So, if you call me, leave me a message a I will get back to you when I have time Until then, don't send me 3 more texts about what you're thinking, you're hoping that we get to go out again soon, or you think that I want to see a picture of your dog. I start to like you less and less, because I think either: you have no friends, no life, you're a stalker, or all of the above.


My question is, what is a goof way to say either, "You're not the one for me", or just "Hey, arm's length, slow it down, pull back a bit, etc."


Any guys have input?
 
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Songryder is offline Songryder Post #2  November 30,2008, 10:58pm
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THEAJ, wrote :

I have had met men that I truly like a lot, and the feeling is mutual. That results in talking all the time, frequent texting, hours on the phone, etc. Recently through EH I have met guys that, after we get to OC, if I'm not really "into them', I stillwantto give them a chance (like maybe they're shy or it takes a few dates before I know if the chemistry's there or not. However, if I only like you "so-so', frequent texting, calls, etc., make your chances go WAY down.


I seem to have a few guys now that I'm not too sure about yet. I have a job, a life, I need to eat, etc. In other words, I don't always have time to answer calls or texts. So, if you call me, leave me a message a I will get back to you when I have time Until then, don't send me 3 more texts about what you're thinking, you're hoping that we get to go out again soon, or you think that I want to see a picture of your dog. I start to like you less and less, because I think either: you have no friends, no life, you're a stalker, or all of the above.


My question is, what is a goof way to say either, "You're not the one for me", or just "Hey, arm's length, slow it down, pull back a bit, etc."


Any guys have input?
No one "prefers" any way to be let down, but you want to be truthful without being brutal. If you are not interested in the person, just let them know that you appreciated talking with them, dating them, but you aren't feeling the connection.


If you're on the fence about someone and they keep sending you mulitple communications, let them know that you appreciate that he's interested in you but the best time to really talk would be . . . . and give him a time when you think you'll be available, because if he tries to contact you outside that time limit, you're not going to be able to get back to him. Set up a structure for yourself so you can manage these guys. If they can't respect that you have a life, a job, etc., then they're too needy and not the kind you want to get involved with anyway.


That's a lot of texting and calling this guy's doing, so slow him down by doing something like this. It can be overwhelming for someone to be constantly in your face all the time.
 
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gr8guy is offline gr8guy Post #3  December 1,2008, 5:11am
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The simple honest approach works best. Don't drag it out, don't be wishy-washy. Say what you mean, mean what you say.
 
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DreamingOfAtlantis is offline DreamingOfAtlantis Post #4  December 1,2008, 6:02am
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What Gr8Guy said. Don't say, "Slow down," if you're not interested romantically and don't give a guy any hope if there is none. Let him know as soon as you come to the decision so it doesn't drag out.
 
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argytunes is offline argytunes Post #5  December 1,2008, 7:10am
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I honestly don't think there's a graceful way to reject someone! That rejection is still going to HURT!


The flaw that many men and women have is---over complimenting or appearing to be interested in another person when they actually aren't! The best way to build friendships is to ask questions and subsequently, see if the person you'd like to have as a friend...does the same?


Eventually...one or both individuals will know if their mate is a "keeper" or just isn't their type!


argytunes
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #6  December 1,2008, 8:47am
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Be honest, be direct, and be tactful. That's all a man can ask for. Being let down is not fun no matter how tactful it is, but as a man in this country, rejection is just a part of life when it comes to dating...we'll get over it.
 
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LonelyStarState is offline LonelyStarState Post #7  December 1,2008, 10:21pm

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i prefer to be told straight up so that i don't waste anymore time, energy or money on them and so that i can also move on to someone else who does deserves them.


if you're not serious about dating... why are you baiting these guys and then keeping them waiting on you like that?
 
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THEAJ is offline THEAJ Post #8  December 2,2008, 12:05am
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LonelyStarState,366468 wrote :

i prefer to be told straight up so that i don't waste anymore time, energy or money on them and so that i can also move on to someone else who does deserves them.


if you're not serious about dating... why are you baiting these guys and then keeping them waiting on you like that?

I'm not "baiting" anyone. They're first dates. Then you maybe you don't feel instant chemistry, so there is sometimes a second date. There is no "bating". I don't know why you would even think that.
 
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LonelyStarState is offline LonelyStarState Post #9  December 2,2008, 1:57pm

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THEAJ, wrote :

I have had met men that I truly like a lot, and the feeling is mutual. That results in talking all the time, frequent texting, hours on the phone, etc. Recently through EH I have met guys that, after we get to OC, if I'm not really "into them', I stillwantto give them a chance (like maybe they're shy or it takes a few dates before I know if the chemistry's there or not. However, if I only like you "so-so', frequent texting, calls, etc., make your chances go WAY down.


I seem to have a few guys now that I'm not too sure about yet. I have a job, a life, I need to eat, etc. In other words, I don't always have time to answer calls or texts. So, if you call me, leave me a message a I will get back to you when I have time Until then, don't send me 3 more texts about what you're thinking, you're hoping that we get to go out again soon, or you think that I want to see a picture of your dog. I start to like you less and less, because I think either: you have no friends, no life, you're a stalker, or all of the above.


My question is, what is a goof way to say either, "You're not the one for me", or just "Hey, arm's length, slow it down, pull back a bit, etc."


Any guys have input?
this?
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #10  December 2,2008, 2:55pm
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Yup.
 
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