travelfool is offline travelfool Post #1  November 28,2008, 1:32pm
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Okay, so we all have at least 10 or more people communicating with us at once. So you go out, and click with someone, but you have at least 4-5 matchs to meet. How do you do this, the guy I'm interested in is interested in me too.


But, I want to meet these guys I've been communicating with, but feel weird. How about you? What's P.C.???





This is something I've never felt comfortable in doing....





H E L P!
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #2  November 28,2008, 2:55pm
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Just keep dating other people. Look, just because you're already dating somebody doesn't rule out everyone else. It's internet dating for gosh sakes. You're not exclusive with anybody yet. The odds of the first match or date leading to a LTR isinfinitesimally slim. Since you're having such good luck with matches and dates, take your time and be picky.


Welcome to internet dating.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #3  November 28,2008, 3:00pm
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I always keep the expectation that an internet match will see others, until they state unambiguously that they are not. I think it is generally accepted that people will have other matches in various stages of communication, so you’re not doing anything “wrong.”.
That said, for me personally, I will back away from competing. If a woman continues seeing others multiple times and / or continues receiving matches, I conclude she feels I am not good enough and perhaps she’ll find someone better. In this case, I will cut my losses.
There is a risk, that with efforts to maximize your options, and the heady feeling that comes from multiple suitors, you spread yourself too thin and lose them all.
Personally, I’ve never succeeded in juggling multiple women.
 
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treatmesweetly is offline treatmesweetly Post #4  November 28,2008, 3:18pm
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An email/IM/text message does not constitute a relationship and has no claim on you... and you have no claim on them.Like Tweet wrote, it's internet dating. After you meet a person, nothing has changed. It only means that you've only met the person. Many of the people you meet online will for various reasons, not meet you in-person. Also, many of the people you meet online will spontaneously disappear (known as "poofing") without reason. Until you are in an exclusive relationship - and yes, you must have "the talk" to confirm you are in an exclusive relationship - You are both free agents. If you (or he) wants an exclusive relationship and the other is not interested/ready, then move on.Those are some of "the rules". Good luck!
 
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LonelyStarState is offline LonelyStarState Post #5  November 28,2008, 7:14pm

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if i was "seeing" someone and then found out that she was also seeing 4-5 other guys at the same time.... boy, would i feel special... not! close-other!
 
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cindy_lou_who is offline cindy_lou_who Post #6  November 29,2008, 2:24pm
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LonelyStarState,363092 wrote :

if i was "seeing" someone and then found out that she was also seeing 4-5 other guys at the same time.... boy, would i feel special... not! close-other!

You've got to give her a chance to see that you're special before you can expect her to stop dating other people, LSS.





If I were communicating with a guy who expected me not to date anyone else from the moment we were matched, I'd feel like he was a clingy / needy / controlling / stalker type. Close.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #7  November 29,2008, 2:56pm
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To everyone who has / is / would date multiple people:
How many dates (or how long) would you go on with one person before it feels “wrong” to see another?
How many before you would acquiesce to a partner’s request for exclusivity?
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #8  November 29,2008, 3:51pm
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D_Lion,363639 wrote :
To everyone who has / is / would date multiple people:
How many dates (or how long) would you go on with one person before it feels “wrong” to see another?
How many before you would acquiesce to a partner’s request for exclusivity?
1. It probably varies depending on an individual's outlook on the whole thing. At first, I thought one at a time was the standard protocol, but my second match admitted that she was going to go ahead and meet other people.She dated at least one other person more than one time, so I figured 'What the hey'. It is internet dating. After a couple more dates that went nowhere, I dated another gal for about three months and made sure she realized it wasn't exclusive (yet). She was still on eH and so was I. I dated a couple other girls during that timeand by then any guilty feelings were out of my system. Like I said, it's internet dating.


2. I don't think there's a number of dates before you go exclusive, but how two people feel about each other.


During my four months on eH there was an overlapping succession of nine women that I datedwith ranges from one date to a three month fling. The latest one seems to be the 'one' and it's been seven months now.


That's just me.
 
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cindy_lou_who is offline cindy_lou_who Post #9  November 29,2008, 5:48pm
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tweet37,363687 wrote :




.


2. I don't think there's a number of dates before you go exclusive, but how two people feel about each other.

Bingo
 
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lots2offer is offline lots2offer Post #10  November 30,2008, 5:05am
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OK Tweet, so there was an "overlapping succession" of women, which means dating one woman ends and another begins. What are the words to enddating a womansensitively and unambiguously?
 
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