ReneR is offline ReneR Post #1  November 27,2008, 2:25pm
ReneR's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Nov 2008

Posts: 2

See profile



My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over 3 months. I have recently started to question whether this is the right relationship for me.


My first concern is she has a 7 year old child. I have rejected many ladies before because of that simple fact they have children. My reason being, I've beena responsible young adult and have no children. Sure I have been sexually active since my teen years but I have always protected myself and made every effort to not have children. I understand mistakes happen but I was fortunate enough not to make that mistake. Also, it makes it difficult to plan activites. Concerts, trips, etc. can be trouble because of her responsibilities.


Education is also an issue. I am a professional with a college education. When I met her she was employed but told me her place of employment had been closing for the past few month and she would be out of work within a couple weeks. She made no attempt to find work this entire period of time. I felt this was a bit irresponsible especially being a single mother. I let it go because that was none of my business. She took it easy for a while always expecting me to pay for all dates while she didnt work.She invited me out for a drink once after work (me not her) had her drinks then said she had to go and left. I asked her if she was planning on paying for her drinks or just assumed I should pay for everything? she seemed shocked.


She also drinks a lot for someone who is actively seeking employment. She also expects me to do the same and when I tell her I have to work and cant party all the time she acts like im talking down to her.


Another thing is her ex. The thought of him in my life drives me nuts. There is also a friend of hers she hangs around a lot. I dont think she is being unfaithful but I know they have slept together and she has also "gone down on him". The though of this makes my stomach turn. Knowing I will have to see this guy often. I would rather not be there when he's around which is hard because he always is.


She is a good girl. She says she is working on going back to school. I know I dont want to be withsomeone who thinks they are going to stay home and take care of the home for a living. She also does a lot for me like fixes me breakfast and gives me backrubs after difficult days.
 
  Reply With Quote
Traveling_Girl is offline Traveling_Girl Post #2  November 27,2008, 3:08pm
Traveling_Gir…'s Avatar

I wish the water in my city tasted this good...

Newbie

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 28

See profile



It seems pretty clear to me that you have answered your own question. You have given five solid reasons why she isn't the one for you:


1) She has a child, which is a situation you have carefully avoided in the past. Even though you may be able to love the child as your own over time, this would seem more of a miracle than a probability. We all have different priorities and this seems to be the #1 deal-breaker for you.


2) She seems lazy and content to have you pay when you go out.


3) Education. Although this may not be a primary reason, the fact that you mention it means that it is important. You seem to be grooming yourself for bigger and better things, career-wise, and I get the sense that a lady of luxury (at your expense) is not compatible with your long-range goals.


4) She drinks alot. This can mean anything from escapism to budding alcoholism. This is always abig warning sign, in my opinion.


5) She is seeing other men on a regular basis with whom she has been sexually intimate. The fact that you have boldly statedthat this makes you "nuts" is the final nail in the coffin, in my opionion. For you to even try and navigate this emotional minefield seems dreadfully self-destructive.


It sounds as though you know what you want and don't want in a relationship, but the woman is probably so hot -- or otherwise appealing -- that you are ignoring your own better judgment. If you were to look at her objectively and give advice, as if to your best friend, what would your advice be? Then follow your own advice. Best of luck!
 
  Reply With Quote
kewlbri125 is offline kewlbri125 Post #3  November 27,2008, 3:36pm
kewlbri125's Avatar

is tired of being at work!

Quick Study

Joined: Sep 2008

Montgomery, AL

Posts: 166

See profile



This might be a little rude, but you did not describe someone I would call a "good girl."
 
  Reply With Quote
jayhawkgirl is offline jayhawkgirl Post #4  November 27,2008, 4:39pm
jayhawkgirl's Avatar

is back to square one

Pacesetter

Joined: Oct 2008

Posts: 405

See profile



You did not provide one singlepositive about this woman or even state that you like her! Why are you even seeing her??This is a no-brainer.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Unsure of what to do? | Ask a Dating Expert | He drinks every night....should I be worried? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I did everything. And the repairs where sure expensive. Grr!I paid for them too. :-/” –  LadyVee

Join the “Confusing Man (LONG STORY)” discussion

“I think people change their "type" depending on what they think they need at that point in their lives. It's so subjective that it might be best if we all just let someone else choose a mate for us ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Changing your "type"” discussion

“In the end, aren't we all winners?” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Last Post Wins!” discussion

“4: sex um. both our values hold sex for marriage, so the next best thing to do when you are driven by lust, i guess is making out? If sex equals marriage, then if his goal is to have sex with you, ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Confused~ He likes me or He wants sex?” discussion

“You know, profile writers remind me of junior high school. The kids who came into an exam clueless, and just rambled on and on, hoping that in there somewhere(?) might possibly be something that the ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “How much profile do you like to read?” discussion

“Chemical burns when one splashes around in nature are no fun! Tree farming, huh. Tax breaks or love of all things tree... Tax break. (I can make these calls, because I'm on the internetz.) He ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “What kind of add you see on this board?” discussion

“The standard method is to eliminate alcohol and bread (and any other gassy carbs) from your diet. You can also try saran wrapping your midsection for a few days. I've heard that works but I haven't ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Belly Fat” discussion

“My boyfriend will be meeting my ex-boyfriend for the first time this weekend so I will let you know how it goes. He almost met him awhile ago so I thought about this before. I told my boyfriend that ... ” –  alethea

Join the “Hold on, hold on, hold on!” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 11:42pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0