sierra858 is offline sierra858 Post #1  November 26,2008, 6:53pm
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I am dating this guy, and we only been dating for about a month, and he is so busy with work. He recently came into some problems, and is working alot to get money to deal with these problems, and because of that hardly has time for me. Before this he always had time for me, and was great about calling. But now he is so focused on fixing his situation, it seems he doesn't have much time for me. He wants to be with me, but wishes I be patient, and understanding until the situation is resolved. Should I be patient and wait, or should I say forget?
 
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treatmesweetly is offline treatmesweetly Post #2  November 28,2008, 7:23pm
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You've only been dating for a month. Are you already exclusive?? If so, it's too early to be stressing him about making more time for you, than for resolving his own problems. It's not like he's asking you for money or to solve his problems for him.So far, he sounds morelike a responsible guy than one who's blowing you off. Has he estimated how long it will take him to resolve the situation (3-4 weeks,5-6 months)? Maybe that would make it easier for you to make your decision??
 
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bravethestorm is offline bravethestorm Post #3  November 28,2008, 8:52pm
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Life has ups and downs. It sounds like your relationship hit one of the down cycles and he's hoping you'll be patient. I think as long as he is making some effort to communicate even if it's just once a week that his request is reasonable. It's not like he can totally ignore his problems and devote 100% to a relationship all the time.


I know it is hurtful when someone disappears and doesn't seem to be around. It would be nice if you had some idea of how long this period will last but it would depend on the reasons. I think you need to ask yourself...do you feel it is worth trying to ride it out? Do you see potential there? Do you enjoy the time he does spend with you?


Now if he's going weeks without a word...that would be extreme and I would wonder on how committed he is. These types of situations do test a relationship...but it is also where you both grow and decide if it is the relationship for you. Asking questions is a good sign since you are thinking about your feelings but so is talking with him. Just make the most of the time you do share and then go from there.
 
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wildman is offline wildman Post #4  November 28,2008, 9:26pm
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Well he gets kudos for trying to be financially responsible. You didn't say what for- back child support- back taxes- paying off credit card debt- paying off a loan shark before Big Al visits? I would hate to have someone bail on me when I am trying to do the right thing, yet I would be sure to be up front and tell her how long that might take. And even then i would take some time off to make time for my relationship's health. All work and no play make's Tom a very boring boy. And how hard is it to make a phone call or an email?? Looks like there is a lot of factors to take into consideration here. Hey, maybe he is trying to get money together for a ring?
 
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tina2u is offline tina2u Post #5  November 28,2008, 9:30pm
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Hello, a month isn't a very long time to be in a commited relationship but that is just an opinion. Also, are you sure he is working on a problem or is he making time for other activities that don't include you. If you have made him feel guilty for not having enough time for him, he may be slowly trying to distance himself. Yes, he would be going about it the wrong way especially asking you to be patient but that is why you need to be sure he's telling you the truth. Plus as other people have asked, do you really care so much for this man to wait while he works on his problem? Good luck!
 
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yeoww is offline yeoww Post #6  November 28,2008, 9:32pm
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A month isn't much time. If you really like him, I'd suggest waiting it out for a while longer to see how things evolve. If he continues to not contact you, then it would appear he's not all that interested and you'll have your answer.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  November 28,2008, 9:40pm
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A month is probably to soon to be exclusive so you should be pursueing other matches. I can see no reason to close him out, you can leave him open and pursue other matches .
 
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zarathustra is offline zarathustra Post #8  November 28,2008, 9:57pm

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I wouldn't let the relationship go. I would also date other guys while he's getting it together.
 
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JstGrl is offline JstGrl Post #9  November 29,2008, 6:35pm
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I went on just a couple of dates with a guy before we became exclusive. We just felt that we're a good match at that time and EH just couldnt match us up with anyone else better than each other. So a month isnt too soon to be exclusive but it is too soon to give up on the relationship. At least your guy is telling you why he's unable to spend time with you or call you. He's including you in what's going on in his life and keeps you posted. Be patient, dont pressure him too much but also be honest about how you feel... tell him that you miss spending time with him or talking to him.
 
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