Doctora2012 is offline Doctora2012 Post #11  November 27,2008, 11:08am
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is happy.

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PJ_Paradox,361626 wrote :

* blinks * He goes to hookup parties and a place that he might be trying to cheat on you and you are woried about sexual orientation?


To each is own I guess, but if I were in the situation I would be more concerned about how loyal he was, more so than who he's attracted to. If I am with someone who is attracted to half the population or the entire population I don't care as long as I'm the one she comes home to and I'm the one that has her love, caring, and devotion. If the person I am with wants to sleep around, then the relationship ends. I tdoesn't matter whether it's with men or women.


Kind of sad that who he might be attracted to is more frightening than that he might not actually be honest and faithful with you....


You should be the center of your partner's world regardless of sexual orientation. You shouldn't have to compete with ANYONE woman or man.
+1. Great insight.
 
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Joy 2bwith is offline Joy 2bwith Post #12  November 27,2008, 1:00pm
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OH !!! W_Lisa - the flags are so RED they are dripping. Stand aside as he leaves.
 
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angelpoet is offline angelpoet Post #13  November 27,2008, 1:09pm
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is still out there

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Wary_Lisa, wrote :

Im interested to know if this happens to others, why would he pursue me, tell me he loves me, and have a secrect life?


What should I look for as a key indicator?* Right now it's a suspicion based on the fact that he has attended wild sex parties, appears to be very sexual in a kinky way, and meets with a men's group once a week.


Am I being overly critical/judgmental?* He is a wonderful man.
uuhhh what about him is wonderful...?
 
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rix is online now rix Post #14  November 28,2008, 12:31am
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Happy 1st Anniversary, babe!

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Wary_Lisa, wrote :




he has attended wild sex parties, appears to be very sexual in a kinky way, and meets with a men's group once a week...He is a wonderful man.
What's wrong with this picture?!


I believe the Dr. Jeckyl & Mr. Hyde schizophrenic split dual personality analysis cuts to the heart of the issue. The mens group may be completely harmless. It may be just a mens support group. However, would a consistently "wonderful man" engage in such behavior? It may also explain the need for a support group, in order for Dr. Jeckyl to purge the psyche of his Mr. Hyde alter ego.
 
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honoraryvirgin is offline honoraryvirgin Post #15  November 28,2008, 7:04am
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Hi Wary Lisa,





I think you're over-analyzing this, trying to get inside this guy's head and to somehow put a good spin on his every word and action. So you have your head on one side, rationalizing, bending over backward to find a good excuse/motive for his probably dangerous sexual proclivities ...and then you have your instincts on the other, trying to keep you safe. If there's one thing I've learned after 30+ years of dating and one failed marriage, it's TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. They are usually right on.





Really, ask yourself if it's even close to your comfort zone to get in any deeper with a guy who is showing you exactly who is right now. And don't forget, he's on his best behaviour at the moment, still in the honeymoon phase with you. Things ain't gonna get any better than they are right now, and you're already agonizing.





So, keep him as a friend if he's that great. But I agree with others here who have expressed concern that continued intimacy with this fellow might well put you in danger and will lead to heartache.





take care.
 
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