Should I stay in a marriage were wife show no intrest .


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modman62 is offline modman62 Post #1  November 25,2008, 4:50pm
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Hi I have been having lots of dought about my wifes love for me, first of all we got married about 6 years ago both of us was not truthful about why we wanted to be married. she is a Jehovahs- witness and Im not and am never going to be I would like to consider my self as being a christian but not going to church rite now , anyway I played her game for a while going to her cult meetings with her and things was great but ever since I quit going its been down hill but she is a very nice lady other than this but we sleep in differant rooms with no sex hardly ever and if it does happen its like Im doing somthing wrong I need advice please my Heart cant take much more. its like Im at the end of a rope and every now and then she pulls me back. and we live totaly opposite life styles and do nothing as a couple. p.s. please look over my spelling Im sorry.
 
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bravethestorm is offline bravethestorm Post #2  November 25,2008, 5:21pm
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So why did you both get married??? You mentioned that you both didn't give the real reason.


Not sure what prompted you to go to her religious meetings and then stop. Calling them cult meetings though sure isn't a good sign.


To be a couple...you got to work on being a couple. Yes you are entitled to differences including religous choices but you do have to spend time together. If you can't talk outside the sheets...it's hard to believe that is going to solve the problems. Not sure why you argue about sex as you didn't say.


You need to talk...and spend time together doing something you both want. It's as simple as that...otherwise you both don't know if there is a marriage worth saving.
 
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single_father is offline single_father Post #3  November 26,2008, 6:10am
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Since you didn't mention them, I assume you have no children.


Based on my personal experience with a former JW wife, get out, the sooner the better. Things will only continue to get worse.
 
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rg26 is offline rg26 Post #4  November 26,2008, 6:22am
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Your married not just dating this woman. Supposed to be for better or worse remember? So talk to her, ask her to go to counseling. Very likely she is feeling much of what you are feeling. Things will in fact get worse if you both don't try to rebuild your relationship now. And don't refer to her church as a cult - it shows disrespect.
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #5  November 26,2008, 7:15am
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It sounds like you guys got married for the wrong reasons. Now you have to figure out if those reasons are fixable. Is your relationship for real, or based on a lie?


It really looks like you two have just drifted apart in your separate lives. You need to find a way to rejoin your two lives. If you can't do that, or she can't do that, than its better to call the marriage quits.


Counseling helps in situations like this, but because you guys got married under less than truthful circumstances, your marriage may probably be doomed from the start.
 
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trailviews is offline trailviews Post #6  November 26,2008, 7:36am
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Go to counseling, and not counseling through her church.
 
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modman62 is offline modman62 Post #7  November 26,2008, 7:23pm
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I do agree with counseling but she will not go or even consider it, yes I married her for love but I really think she married me to turn me into a Jehovahs witness and Im sorry if it sounds like I disrespect these people but I do because I can see what they have done to my wife and I must also ad that she is not willing to leave them either so I feal they are not giving me any choice but to end our marriage and she is 10 years older than me and she says she has no intrest in sex and I really feel betrayed because I have done nothing to deserve her sleeping in the other room and if its her change in life thats causing this she needs meds because Im 46 and Im not ready to give up this part of my life yet. Also my kid are with my x-wife and I see them three or four days a week, my ex-wife wants me back but dont know if I could deel with her bi-polor disorder again but I do love my kids.and I need to make the write choices soon.
 
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Immerito is offline Immerito Post #8  November 29,2008, 8:09pm
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Go to counseling. If she won't go. Go alone.


You decided to become married, and you vowed to be with her "for better or for worse". Marriage is a lifelong commitment. It takes work. It's even harder when the husband and wife have major disagreements about their respective faith. But it's doable.


Pray.


Seek the counsel of an older man; someone who has been married for decades. Ask your wife to do the same.


The time to question whether or not you and your wife were compatible, or to consider ending the relationship,was BEFORE you gave your vows.


Tell your wife that she can demonstrate the sincerity of her chosen beliefs by fighting for your marriage.


Undoubtedly, there are ways she has wronged you, and ways you have wronged her. Both of you need to man/woman up, confess what you have done, and move forward as adults.


Finally, show her this:


According to the Jehovah's Witness Office of Public Information, "In a marriage in which only one mate is one of Jehovah's Witnesses, the Witness mate is counseled to show respect and love to the non-Witness mate." (Source:h t t p : / / w w w . j w - m e d i a . o r g / r e g i o n / g l o b a l / e n g l i s h / b a c k g r o u n d e r s / e _ f a m i l y . h t m; without the spaces)


Work to save your marriage. You won't regret it.
 
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