Why do people lie about things like name and age when asking you out?


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noseyparker is offline noseyparker Post #11  November 23,2008, 11:03am
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robert2008,355060 wrote :

I dunno ... is lying such a bad thing? In theatre, actors put their age range on their resumes --- what ages they can convincingly play. Maybe that's not such a bad idea in dating as well.


And a name? What's a name, really? Ok, I have a couple of names I use; my stage name, my at-school name...


"Me? I'm 35. tonight." [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-smile.gif[/img]
If you have ever lied about your age, how did your dates respond, when they finally found out?
 
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gr8galmv is offline gr8galmv Post #12  November 23,2008, 6:04pm
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The name thing isn't a huge deal. There's been several men who have put a nickname or maybe their middle name on their profile. Usually by the time we've reached open communication they'll tell me their real name. But if you've met this guy who still says his name is 'x' when his signature is 'y', then yeah, I'd ask about that. Something smells rotten.


The age thing irks the stink out of me. I too have trolled other sites to see if the guy I'm interested in has profiles elsewhere. I once found the same guy on three sites with three different ages...and none were correct all making himself 1 to 5 years younger because they felt younger inside. He got the 'close' from me and reported to eHarmony.
 
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3dimension is offline 3dimension Post #13  November 24,2008, 1:10pm
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robert2008,355060 wrote :

I dunno ... is lying such a bad thing? In theatre, actors put their age range on their resumes --- what ages they can convincingly play. Maybe that's not such a bad idea in dating as well.


And a name? What's a name, really? Ok, I have a couple of names I use; my stage name, my at-school name...


"Me? I'm 35. tonight." [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-smile.gif[/img]
you're kidding me right??? 8-)
 
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3dimension is offline 3dimension Post #14  November 24,2008, 1:13pm
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The name I can understand if he uses his middle name in place of his first given name.


But I will never understand why someone would fudge their weight, height, age... sex?? I'm sure it happens. Anyhoo... that's all I have to say about that.
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #15  November 24,2008, 4:02pm
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I watched the signature that he signed on his credit card receipt and it just happened to be "David T. Lynn"


Flaming Rose, did you really have to put his name out there like that?
 
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DreamingOfAtlantis is offline DreamingOfAtlantis Post #16  November 25,2008, 6:29am
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robert2008,355060 wrote :

I dunno ... is lying such a bad thing? In theatre, actors put their age range on their resumes --- what ages they can convincingly play. Maybe that's not such a bad idea in dating as well.


And a name? What's a name, really? Ok, I have a couple of names I use; my stage name, my at-school name...


"Me? I'm 35. tonight." [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-smile.gif[/img]
And...


You're dumped. Boom.


Try a line like that with me and I know 1) That you're not 35, 2) That you're enough over 35 for it to make a difference, and 3) That in the future when I need to communicat with you about something important, I'll always wonder if you're telling me the truth or fudging things.


I write and will soon be running a digital film production company. I'm used to dealing with people who work on stage/film and behind the scenes. I've rarely had reason to doubt someone's honesty or integrity because he/she acts, but in this case, once I heard a line like that, I'd always wonder, when it was a serious discussion, "Is she acting and lying or does she really mean that?" All that would come from one of your lies that is not "such a bad thing."


There is a HUGE difference between using a stage name or career name for anything (I have a pen name I use for some work I do), and misleading people with whom there is a chance of an intimate relationship.
 
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DreamingOfAtlantis is offline DreamingOfAtlantis Post #17  November 25,2008, 6:44am
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FlamingRose, now that you've included more info, I'm not sure how to put it all together. Okay, you saw the credit card receipt. If you see me sign one, you won't see me sign it with the name I gave you, since I go by Hal and my real name is else that just doesn't work in this generation. It's not as different as David and Steve, but you just don't know. My brother's first name was Thomas and a few people in the extended family called him Tommy, but almost all of us always called him Rick. I forgot how he got that name, but I remember that it was well before I was born and it had to do with a number of men/boys in the family named Tom.


However, I would suggest not seeing him anymore anyway. Why? Because you're already angry at him, you took a lot of time to track him down on dating sites to check up on him. That's almost like trying to burn him. Whether he's telling the truth or not, you've got enough baggage in this relationship already that even if it turned out there were reasonable explanations for everything and this guy was a great guy and 100% honest, there's just no way he's ever going to stand a fair cahnce with you.


If I had seen someone sign a credit receipt with a different name than they gave me, silly person that I am, I would have commented, "I thought your name was XXXXXX?" Then I'd watch their face carefully as they explained. Do they have an explanation? Did they seem to scramble to explain it? Do they look me in the eye or glance around as they say it?


But that's just me. I'd rather be straightforward about things instead of creeping around, searching dating sites, or trying to figure it all out when I might draw the wrong conclusions. I'd rather figure it out quickly than go through all that drama.
 
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FlamingRose is offline FlamingRose Post #18  November 25,2008, 8:59am
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DreamingOfAtlantis,358189 wrote :


FlamingRose, now that you've included more info, I'm not sure how to put it all together. Okay, you saw the credit card receipt. If you see me sign one, you won't see me sign it with the name I gave you, since I go by Hal and my real name is else that just doesn't work in this generation. It's not as different as David and Steve, but you just don't know. My brother's first name was Thomas and a few people in the extended family called him Tommy, but almost all of us always called him Rick. I forgot how he got that name, but I remember that it was well before I was born and it had to do with a number of men/boys in the family named Tom.


However, I would suggest not seeing him anymore anyway. Why? Because you're already angry at him, you took a lot of time to track him down on dating sites to check up on him. That's almost like trying to burn him. Whether he's telling the truth or not, you've got enough baggage in this relationship already that even if it turned out there were reasonable explanations for everything and this guy was a great guy and 100% honest, there's just no way he's ever going to stand a fair cahnce with you.


If I had seen someone sign a credit receipt with a different name than they gave me, silly person that I am, I would have commented, "I thought your name was XXXXXX?" Then I'd watch their face carefully as they explained. Do they have an explanation? Did they seem to scramble to explain it? Do they look me in the eye or glance around as they sa


DreamingOfAtlantis Your'e rude!!! No wander you are single.What woman would want to be around all the smart comments that come from your mouth?Since you choose to make me and others who have posted on here look like we are all wrong and you are sooo perfect and have it up on this board for everyone to see how you have demeaned women and men.Your'e two cents don't count anymore,so I went ahead and reported you>have a nice day!!!!! So now you can report me because I have no more intentions of being on this site with the likes of you.Post your crap away!!!!!!!!!!
 
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FlamingRose is offline FlamingRose Post #19  November 25,2008, 9:14am
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DreamingOfAtlantis,358171 wrote :


robert2008,355060 wrote :


I dunno ... is lying such a bad thing? In theatre, actors put their age range on their resumes --- what ages they can convincingly play. Maybe that's not such a bad idea in dating as well.


And a name? What's a name, really? Ok, I have a couple of names I use; my stage name, my at-school name...


"Me? I'm 35. tonight." [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-smile.gif[/img]


And...


You're dumped. Boom.


Try a line like that with me and I know 1) That you're not 35, 2) That you're enough over 35 for it to make a difference, and 3) That in the future when I need to communicat with you about something important, I'll always wonder if you're telling me the truth or fudging things.


I write and will soon be running a digital film production company. I'm used to dealing with people who work on stage/film and behind the scenes. I've rarely had reason to doubt someone's honesty or integrity because he/she acts, but in this case, once I heard a line like that, I'd always wonder, when it was a serious discussion, "Is she acting and lying or does she really mean that?" All that would come from one of your lies that is not "such a bad thing."


There is a HUGE difference between using a stage name or career name for anything (I have a pen name I use for some work I do), and misleading people with whom there is a chance of an intimate relationship.


Now your'e saying that people actually lie?It can't be both ways!Hmmmm!!!!And just from what they are saying.Quote from you"I'll always wander if your'e telling me the truth or fudging things."Sounds like you have doubts too and think nothing of others."and misleading others with whom there is an intimate relartionship."Hmmmm!!! Fudged that one up too! So did you do a behind the scenes profile check on this person to see what is and not true?I'm not the only one then am I? .................................................. ......and now it's the men getting attacked!
 
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DreamingOfAtlantis is offline DreamingOfAtlantis Post #20  November 28,2008, 6:57am
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FlamingRose,358315 wrote :

DreamingOfAtlantis,358189 wrote :


FlamingRose, now that you've included more info, I'm not sure how to put it all together. Okay, you saw the credit card receipt. If you see me sign one, you won't see me sign it with the name I gave you, since I go by Hal and my real name is else that just doesn't work in this generation. It's not as different as David and Steve, but you just don't know. My brother's first name was Thomas and a few people in the extended family called him Tommy, but almost all of us always called him Rick. I forgot how he got that name, but I remember that it was well before I was born and it had to do with a number of men/boys in the family named Tom.


However, I would suggest not seeing him anymore anyway. Why? Because you're already angry at him, you took a lot of time to track him down on dating sites to check up on him. That's almost like trying to burn him. Whether he's telling the truth or not, you've got enough baggage in this relationship already that even if it turned out there were reasonable explanations for everything and this guy was a great guy and 100% honest, there's just no way he's ever going to stand a fair cahnce with you.


If I had seen someone sign a credit receipt with a different name than they gave me, silly person that I am, I would have commented, "I thought your name was XXXXXX?" Then I'd watch their face carefully as they explained. Do they have an explanation? Did they seem to scramble to explain it? Do they look me in the eye or glance around as they sa


DreamingOfAtlantis Your'e rude!!! No wander you are single.What woman would want to be around all the smart comments that come from your mouth?Since you choose to make me and others who have posted on here look like we are all wrong and you are sooo perfect and have it up on this board for everyone to see how you have demeaned women and men.Your'e two cents don't count anymore,so I went ahead and reported you>have a nice day!!!!! So now you can report me because I have no more intentions of being on this site with the likes of you.Post your crap away!!!!!!!!!!
"DreamingOfAtlantis Your'e rude!!! No wander you are single.What woman would want to be around all the smart comments that come from your mouth?"


Uh, hi, kettle. That's just about as rude and hurtful a statement as you could say.


I kind of expected that from you. All I did was speak the truth, but it's clear that it's a truth you're not ready or willing to hear, so you've lashed out at me. What did I say that was so rude? Now you're going through, in this post and the next to pick apart my words and find whatever meaning you can that will support what you want to think and will make me look like I don't know what I'm talking about.


All I did was tell the truth in an effort to clarify the situation. Where did I insult you or him?


You're showing a knee-jerk anger response. You didn't like what I said, so right away you not only call me rude, but hit me with a statement that's about as rude and hurtful as you could say.


Please, think about what you've said and think carefully before responding to this post. Our words tell people who we are and when someone is trying to help and to be honest and, in return, the response is about as hurtful as one can get on this board, it says a lot about that responder -- and I'm sure that, beyond the anger and pain this situation is causing you, you had no intention to cause more pain.
 
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