Do men withdraw from a relationship when they are under a lot of stress


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dnnmllr is offline dnnmllr Post #11  November 24,2008, 8:01am
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"Steady my feet in accord with your promise, Let not iniquity lead me"...

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rosy_bear, wrote :

I have seen a man for about 5 months, recently he told me that he has fall in love with me. But*three weeks later, something happened in his life (his ex and his kids), his life became complicated and*he was under a lot of stress. So he told me he needed to be alone for a while, but he said he is still in love with me. After he gets his life on track, he will contact with me. Do men really withdraw when they have lots of stress? Should I believe in him?


Thanks


*
I have no reason not to believe that this man has strong "feelings" for you. Keeping that in context, then to answer your question:....."Do men really withdraw when they have lots of stress? Should I believe in him?", my answer is YES.

I am referencing a book I am currently reading titled, Why Mars & Venus Collide (Improving Relationships by Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress)....."The responses to stress are very different on Mars and Venus. Men tend to shift gears, disengage, and forget their problems, while women are compelled to connect, ask questions, and share problems. This simple distinction can be extremely distructive in a relationship if it is not appreciated and respected. When a man needs time alone or doesn't want to talk about his day, it doesn't mean that he cares less for his partner (pg 33-34)"....."To this day, faced with stress, a man will often become quiet. As a result, men go to their cave to recover from stress (pg 37)....."...."When a man is under stress, he can easily forget his partner and her needs.....a woman can easily interpret this behavior as uncaring. After she has misunderstood his behavior in this manner, it is even harder for her to risk asking him for more support (pg 39)".....

I hope this helps you. I wish you well.
 
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PY is offline PY Post #12  November 24,2008, 8:15am

Sometimes...just be a bigger person and take the high road.

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Some men are talkers, some aren't. If I'm under stress, you'll have a hard time shutting me up, but some men would rather not talk, and maybe work on projects, stay later at work, etc..
 
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JstGrl is offline JstGrl Post #13  November 29,2008, 6:51pm
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I was dating a guy for a month or two when he said he's stressed and started withdrawing from the relationship. We were reallyhappy and then something happened with him and he stopped texting, calling or even returning phone calls. He was cold and distant. Said he was going through some stuff and was very vague as well. It was personal and work related.It didnt sit well with me because Ididnt know what was going on. Felt like he was cheating on me. Needless to say, we're no longer together.Hindsight, I would have been more patient and give me the time and space he needed to figure things out. Be patient... speaking from experience. Dont want to jeopardize something good.
 
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