Salsa Dancing.....girl i am seeing.....goes with with her guy friend

I dont feel comfortable having the girl i am seeing being sqeezed and touched (salsa dancing is fun but could be a lot of touching) by her guy friend. She says they just dance, i havnt gone because im brushing up on my lessons. Am i paranoid or just a jelous guy? Ive been seeing her for 5 months and she has not been dancing with this guy ever since i've been seeing her but eventually she will want to and i have never told her not too. She says she would never cross that line and when she was married, her husband would let her go-but he didnt know how to dance nor did he want to learn-i do and am working on getting better. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. In about a month i'll feel comfortable to go with her just the two of us and with her girl friends but if she wants to go with her guy friend that she grew up with should i care?

Wow this is a tough one and I hope you get some replies on this. I was recently asked by a male friend if I want to take swing dance lessons with him. I'd absolutely love to, but he has a girlfriend. If he were my man, I wouldn't want him dancing with another woman to that length of time. In my opinion dancing together (for the duration that lessons and ballroom type dancing require) is quite romantic and I myself had always hoped to find someone who wants to ballroom dance with me. Nothing wrong with switching partners during a song, having fun w/other couples, etc, but you know what I mean

I dont feel comfortable having the girl i am seeing being sqeezed and touched (salsa dancing is fun but could be a lot of touching) by her guy friend. She says they just dance, i havnt gone because im brushing up on my lessons. Am i paranoid or just a jelous guy? Ive been seeing her for 5 months and she has not been dancing with this guy ever since i've been seeing her but eventually she will want to and i have never told her not too. She says she would never cross that line and when she was married, her husband would let her go-but he didnt know how to dance nor did he want to learn-i do and am working on getting better. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. In about a month i'll feel comfortable to go with her just the two of us and with her girl friends but if she wants to go with her guy friend that she grew up with should i care?

Well; how romantic do you feel toward the women you dance with as part of your dance lessons? Probably not so much... Dancing is great exercise and a fun social (and sometimes ethnic/cultural) activity. Dancing with the person one loves (or desires) transforms it into something much more, but the act of dancing itself doesn't imply that one is looking for romance with one's partner. You say that she and her dance partner grew up together, and have presumably been dancing for years; wouldn't they have gotten together by now if they were going to?


Don't wait another month before you feel "ready" to join her out dancing (you may not feel "ready" then, either). Go ahead and go now and just have fun (a lot of places even have free lessons at the beginning of the evening). If your steps aren't right - who cares? And, you can learn a lot just by watching others trip the light fantastic. Plus, she will appreciate that you are putting her ahead of your own self-consciousness and apprehension. (If her guy friend comes along, so much the better! If you spend a little more time with him you may begin to feel more comfortable about their friendship...)

Uh . . . and her husband divorced her becauzzzzz . . . ?


I don't think it's unusual that you have these feelings of jealousy . . . only I wouldn't call it quite that.* It's a sense that you want to be the man she's the most intimate with and Salsa dancing is a "very" physically intimate dance.* It's like having vertical sex, it's the only way I can describe it, so yeah, I'd be a little more then annoyed if the guy I was seeing was doing a vertical Mambo with another woman.*


You have every right to want that particular kind of intimacy be just between you two.* It's not about jealousy, it's about respecting that intimacy.* The relationship is very new as well, so naturally you're going to want to spend more time with her going out and doing whatever.* She needs to understand that and give the guy up and start dancing that way with you on several levels, btw.


I play guitar with some pretty good male musicians.* It's*a very intimate way of being when two people with the same passion share it, there's just no getting around it.* I just don't act on the spark because I know it's the music we love.* However, when I was with my ex, he played guitar with me and I wouldn't play with anyone else because that was our intimacy as well.* Kinda get the drift here?


You guys need to get to the point where you trust each other and you're not there yet, nor is it wrong that you're not.* Trust is earned over time and sitting her down and letting her know this is a problem for you because you feel you want to have that intimacy together is telling her the truth and also telling her how much you care about wanting to be with her.* How she responds will let you know if the relationship is worth keeping.


And don't let her throw this "You're trying to control me" crap at you.* It's nothing of the sort and if she can't give up dancing with some guy to dance with her real partner, go find another dance floor with someone who will.