Men who are over 45 and never been married

Being a man--not a guy and not a boy--who happens to be very slightly over the ripe old age of 45 and having never been married (or even close to it), I guess I have some serious problem, be it emotional, psychological or mental. That is, of course, if I'minterpreting correctly select comments left on thismessage board thing by certain members. I suppose it neverentered my consciousness that marriage wasan essential component to one's, well, happiness and well-being, and if a non-female kind of person reaches his mid-forties and has never married, then that's a sign--a serious sign--that such aperson is flawed in some major way, so much so that any prudent anddiscerning woman should be rather suspicious and probably avoid him and certainly not bother getting "involved" with such a odd bloke.


But I digress just a little. Certainly there are many fellowsin their mid-forties who have some kind of problem (or problems) and thisperhaps accounts for the reason they have never married. They very well could suffer froman emotional, psychological or mental disorder or ailment. They could be painfully shy, timid, afraid (around and/or among women, of course); they could lack self-esteem or confidence and suffer from a poor self-image. Their problems, issues and inner demons just prevent them fromentering the state of marriage (and all the subsequent marital bliss that comes along with it). But it does not necessarily indicate or mean they do have such problems and issues. And yet many males who are married or were married suffer from those same problems and issues that plague their never-married brethren. But they were able to take that leap of faith into marriage, which is all fine and good, even thoughfor some it had a disastrous result, which is not so fine and good (especially for their wives).


Anyway, I certainly owe it to myself and other members to thinkabout and ponder this topic a little futher. While I very much enjoyed readingeveryone's comments, I think some portrayed (or betrayed) a certain lack of respectand appreciationfor the almost unlimited variations which are inherent in the male species of the human race regarding age (45 and over)and marriage (orabsence thereof). Speaking for myself--which issomething I must do since no one will do it for me but, then again, I wouldn't want anyone doing it for me--I'llsimplyconclude by making a sincere yet, I hope, not condescending observation. It is quitepresumptious to make sweeping, general and universal judgments with regard to this topic. Even awoman who has known or dated a 45-year-young or older man who has never married can, of course, only make statements(and draw conclusions) from that particular experience (with that particular man). Butdrawing inferences from that, while understandable to a certain extent, is dangerous, for each and every oneof us hasour own unique backgrounds, upbringings, histories(and stories) ... and they are not allunivocal. Also, it is veryrevealing (at least to me) what is being written here by certain members, for even I am capable (for the most part) of connecting the dots and seeing what is ultimately being said (that is, um, the bigger picture).


That's all for now. My apologies for rambling(on).