A few thoughts:


1: A while back I was engaged with a woman that wanted to wait to have sex. Not wait until marriage, but wait until she knew me really well. Fine with me, because I want to know my partners well. She talked about how passionate she was and so on, but I've heard a lot of women talk like that and just lay there and expect me to do all the work for foreplay and everything else, so talk is cheap. It was how she behaved during sex that tipped me off to a lot of other issues she had. Right up to the point where we actually had sex, she behaved one way, but once we got in bed, Without going into details, there were behaviors that came out during sex that didn't come out at other times. She claimed to love sex and want it often, but for her it was closer to once a month, or at least actual intercourse about once a month. She had no problem with expecting me to please her more often, but that was always a one-way thing.


At the time I had been working in residential treatment for a while. I knew how to watch for red flags, knew hwo to spot more than most people ever learn to watch for, but these things did not start showing through until we were in bed together.


Sex changes things. It changes the behavior between a couple, it usually creates a tighter bond and it usually leads to walls being dropped without people realizing it. In my case, if I had waited until marriage, I would have married her and made the worst mistake of my life.


2: People, remember your beliefs are YOUR BELIEFS. They are NOT facts, they are NOT proven, and it is NOT your job to push them on others, whether that's KatyKat pushing sex on her bf or someone else saying, "That's the right thing to do by my scriptures." I've talked with many Christians that are shocked when I tell them I know Muslims who are just as devout in their faith as Christians are and that those Muslims feel that they talk to God and that God answers their prayers just as Christians do. The same is true for Pagans -- ask ResidentWeirdo about that. I know people in all faiths who commune with God through prayer and have faith in Him (or Her, in the case of Wiccans and some other Pagans). They all believe that God speaks to them and all are convinced by similar experiences.


While YOU may be convinced that the scriptures you follow are written by God, or inspired by God, others have just as much reason to believe their scriptures were created under the same situation and by the same grace and divine intervention. If you're that sure of your scriptures, read the history behind them -- not the history OF them, but behind them. Read who wrote what, under what conditions, when they wrote it, and how and why each part got included in the final version. The answers about scriptures and their origins are rarely what people of faith expect or think.


3: Cath817 raises a good point: Here you're dating someone that you met in October, in the other thread you've been dating someone for over a year and your'e not sure about Christmas. Since the other thread was started after this one, how could you be dating that boyfriend a year and this one for a few months -- unless you're talking about two different boyfriends? If anyone questions this, read the first post in each thread and see how they contradict each other. Since it looks like you're dating two men, then the question should be if it's appropriate to have sex with the "datign since October" guy when you're trying to spend Christmas with "dating for about a year" guy.