Not everyone can be thin. Not everyone can be tall. Or short. You name it, we all have characteristics that are undesirable to people. BUT that doesn't mean that someone can tell you that you're a "whale" or that you should marry a "cheeseburger" because you are "too fat" for them. They could be polite about it. That old saying about words not hurting is wrong. Sometimes words hurt more than the stick that breaks your bones.The stigma that we face in the media showing what is "desirable" affects everyone from the biggest woman or man to the smallest. The phrases "twig," "barbie," "whale," etc are hurtful to the receiving party. I'm like the original poster in the fact that the men I knew when I was thin no longer want to be seen with me because I am BBW. I have faced the hurtful words that rip on my self-esteem and cause my sense of self-worth to be deminished. It is only someone who is fooling themselves who says that these words, whether they are thin or big, don't hurt. To have people say things like "I don't like to be with someone who is anoerexic/whale" because they are too thin/fat for them is wrong. Think about it. There are naturally thin women out there. There are naturally big women out there. God made us all to be unique. AND sometimes medical issues keep weight on a person. I gained weight after taking medicine that causes the weight to pack on. I have tried several "diets" to lose weight to no affect. When you have someone who judges you solely based on your appearance, it stings a little, but when you have several people do so, it hurts a lot. I think that is what the original poster is questioning. The men that she has met so far have judged her for this. The men that I have met so far have done this to me. It's not an unfounded question when all you have met have been people who judge you for your weight and not look at your personality or attitude. I have been there too. I know there are men and women out there who don't care, but I have yet to meet them... Tx

Hi Rose76,


Good comment. It's always good to be oneself otherwise people will continue to mock ur being. Like u said God created everybody uniquely, so it's left for every individual to appreciate the way God created him/her. But one thing people easily forget is the potential/values in side that individual, for instance, Barr. Barack Obama, President-elect U.S.A. He was disparable by some people as being ''TANNED'', BALACKMAN'' etc. He pushed all these words aside and fought harder. To day, he is not only Barr. Barack Obama, but President-elect of the world because no other country in the world today can dare the AMERICA GOVERNMENT. So some words are just made to pull u down and make u feel bad about ur being. God has created u specially and those who like/love u will come for u. Cheers Rose76. Dimieari.

Hi Lilloime. I may be atypical, but I have never been attracted to thin women. My ex (5'7", 130 lbs when we first met) put on over 50 lbs during the course of our relationship (9 years) and I can honestly say that it didn't bother me in the least. Most of my guy friends also prefer women with an actual body as opposed to the anorexic gals that we all see out there. Of equal importance, the thin gals seem much more focused on themselves rather than being open, loving, caring, friendly. Friends who have dated them say that a meal is not a pleasant experience because the gal is focused on fat content, carbs, calories, etc.

I think a woman's confidence can make men overlook a few extra pounds. Dress appropriately, and act like you know you look good. Not in an arrogant way, but in an outgoing confident smart way.


I'll be honest. I'm 45. Men who are a little overweight with a bit of a belly don't bother me. It's par for the age group. However, if a guy is 40+ pounds overweight, I think about how his health problems might burden the relationship down the road. Weight signals to the other person how well you take care of yourself. People in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond do think about how health issues might become a burden. It may sound shallow, but it is a practical consideration. And by the way, this goes for people who are exceptionally thin. If someone is too thin, that looks unhealthy too.

Guys like thinner (height and weight proportionate) women for the same reasons woman want guys to have a thinner or muscular body.

I can understand why a man or a woman for that matter would want to date someone who is thin. Thin is more attractive and that is what we have been conditioned to want and desire. But on the flip side just because someone is thin doesn't mean they are healthy. I am on the heavier side, but I do work out 5 times a week and am in better shape than alot of thin women I know. I just hope that there is a guy out there where my personality and how we get along is more important than the size I wear. So I just keep plugging along with the online dating game. So hang in there. You will find someone where "thin" isn't the most important thing for them in a partner.