Kimmer81 is offline Kimmer81 Post #1  September 25,2008, 1:12pm
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I'm sure that if I searched enough through the boards that I could find a similar topic, but I went through about 15 pages and I'm just going to post my own! So bear with me


I'm pretty new to eH, but have been matched with a lot of men, and am in OC with 4 (4!!!)... One of my matches and I have been messaging pretty steadily and we are working on setting up a first date (just figuring out time, etc.) I have a few "queries"


1) Do I need to tell him that I am in open communication with other guys? I am certainly not looking into hurting anyone, but... I want to explore my options andI am mystified by what implies exclusivity and what does not. This is probably because I have never really "dated" - it seems that when I went on a date with someone, we ended up in a relationship right away.


2) I have taken the "smart-woman safety measure" of asking him to meet me at a restaurant for our first date. I have his phone number and everything, but... I haven't asked his last name, etc! Is that ridiculous? Or not a big deal? I mean, we're meeting in public, I will have my own car....


I guess I just don't know much about "dating" protocol. Any advice for this rookie would be much appreciated!!


 
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glassonlyhalffull_fillit is offline glassonlyhalffull_fillit Post #2  September 25,2008, 1:29pm
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Absolutely no need to tell anyone you date that you are communicating with others, no more than it would be appropriate to discuss past experiences/relationships on a 1st date, much less ever. Besides, he could also be communicating with others.


Just enjoy the moment, see if you connect, move slow, even if either of you fall head over heels deep inside, don't show/say it. Keep it interesting. Make him WANT a 2nd date.


Remeber, you're a gal on the move. You want to enjoy dating many men.
 
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Kimmer81 is offline Kimmer81 Post #3  September 25,2008, 1:30pm
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glassonlyhalffull_fillit,271877 wrote :

Absolutely no need to tell anyone you date that you are communicating with others, no more than it would be appropriate to discuss past experiences/relationships on a 1st date, much less ever. Besides, he could also be communicating with others.


Just enjoy the moment, see if you connect, move slow, even if either of you fall head over heels deep inside, don't show/say it. Keep it interesting. Make him WANT a 2nd date.


Remeber, you're a gal on the move. You want to enjoy dating many men.
Yes! Thank you! I love your last line, and that is exactly where I am right now!! Good to know and I appreciate the response!
 
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Kimmer81 is offline Kimmer81 Post #4  September 25,2008, 1:56pm
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Tank,271890 wrote :

I think it is appropriate to ask his last name if he knows yours and Google him. It never hurts to be a little extra cautious and Good Luck. I tell my dates on EH if you would like to discuss past matchesfrom EH that you are nolonger in contact with that is fine but not anyone you are currently in contactwith.I think it discourages comparisons and competition ie ("You work in the real estate business, what a coincedence 2 of the matches Iam inOC with are too.Lucky me!")
Well, he doesn't know my last name... so maybe that is something we can cover either on the phone (I will call him to set up date specifics) or once we are in-person and figure out whether we're digging each other or not? I WOULD like to Google him... Thanks for the advice ... and I thought that the comparisons thing is a good point. I think I'll just see how the date goes and whether "other people" even become an issue.


Something I didn't mention... He has made a point of saying that he's been on for 2 months and I am the only person he bothered going into OC with. I have been on for just over 2 weeks. So... he may have an issue with it but we'll just have to see!! I'm having FUN!
 
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Tank is offline Tank Post #5  September 25,2008, 4:47pm
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I think it is appropriate to ask his last name if he knows yours and Google him. It never hurts to be a little extra cautious and Good Luck. I tell my dates on EH if you would like to discuss past matchesfrom EH that you are nolonger in contact with that is fine but not anyone you are currently in contactwith.I think it discourages comparisons and competition ie ("You work in the real estate business, what a coincedence 2 of the matches Iam inOC with are too.Lucky me!")
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #6  September 25,2008, 5:34pm
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You should ask his last name, so you can Google him.
 
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