Is Your Friend Really a "Frenemy"?

Is Your Friend Really a 'Frenemy'?

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Is Your Friend Really a 'Frenemy'?


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eharmonyadvice is offline eharmonyadvice — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  September 10,2008, 11:44am

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Is your so-called friend really a "Frenemy"--a malicious person who subtly puts you down? If you suspect the answer is yes, it's time to learn the signs and ditch that frenemy fast.
 
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RedCashew is offline RedCashew — Advice Official Moderator Post #2  September 10,2008, 3:34pm
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I know about frenemies, but I think it's primarily a female trait, to be honest. Guys tend to berather blunt with each other. We're not really smart enough to be a "friend" to someone and hurt them with vague words.
 
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Songryder is offline Songryder Post #3  September 10,2008, 4:50pm
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eharmonyadvice, wrote :

Is your so-called friend really a "Frenemy"--a malicious person who subtly puts you down? If you suspect the answer is yes, it's time to learn the signs and ditch that frenemy fast.
Frenemies run in both sexes. Some men can be just as passive aggressive in a negative way as some women. I don't hang around those kinds of people . . . they're energy draining and talk out of both sides of their mouths. It's not a talent either, it's meanspirited.
 
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acaricia1 is offline acaricia1 Post #4  September 10,2008, 6:48pm
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I weed those out very fast, life is too short to deal with that kind of drama.
 
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scorpio is offline scorpio Post #5  September 10,2008, 9:40pm
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"Catty" is the word I use for females like that. Theytend to be insecure and unhappy, always want to hang around you, but never have anything nice to say.Let's face it - some people simply don't know how to be a friend. Once I find out someone isa "frenemy", I simply cut them out of my life. I don't have time to teach anyone how to be a friend.


I onced knew a woman who pressed for my friendship, yet never showed anything vaguely resembling that. She constantly bragged on herself, played "top that" in conversations and went to great lengths to be the center of attention with men. Once, she brought over this really big, ugly "frock" style dress that she said she "thought" I might like. Even though she'd never seen me in such a horror! I endedcontact with her because I simplydid notlike her ways, and felt I was wasting my time.


One way I can tell if someonewill be a good friend is if they have other friends - particularly of the same gender. If they do not, that is usually a red flag for me.


It has been my experience that women tend to be a "frenemy" morethan men. But then again, a man would probably be more likely to exhibit this type of behavior with other men, and that's not something I would necessarilywitness.


Thankfully,I have been blessed with a solid circle of both women and men friends, all of whom are kind, loving and loyal.
 
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lada is offline lada Post #6  September 11,2008, 8:54am

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is a false friend better than none at all? reason would dictate, of course not...and yet..
 
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Joy 2bwith is offline Joy 2bwith Post #7  September 11,2008, 2:41pm
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Frenemy - Great term - I work with one. Difficult because we have to work together frequently. Gossip is her M.O. therecan never beunguarded conversation, I learned that early in this relationship.
 
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trueblueyes is offline trueblueyes Post #8  September 11,2008, 4:50pm
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Joy 2bwith,254518 wrote :

Frenemy - Great term - I work with one. Difficult because we have to work together frequently. Gossip is her M.O. therecan never beunguarded conversation, I learned that early in this relationship.
I have been down that road. Even when you didn't say something and she would always try to bait you. I soon learned that for a long time she had been taking the gossipy things she said to me and attributing them to me. But she was very good at it and got away with it and has really pulled the wool over a lot of peoples eyes. I avoid her like the plague... because she is one.
 
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softhearted is offline softhearted Post #9  September 13,2008, 4:34pm
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I know all about the "frenemy". My so-called best friend fits the bill. She always discourages me from doing something new and exciting. In fact she discouraged me from joing eH. She thinks there are nothing but bad men out to hurt good women on online dating sites. She teased me because I had been on eH for 6 months and had not gotten to meet any matches. Now that I'm dating one of my matches she keeps encouraging me to "dump" him becauseshe thinks he's no good. I'vetold her that I don't need another mother since I've already got one, but she continues to try to tell me what to do. I just decided to stop calling her back.
 
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livinagin is offline livinagin Post #10  September 13,2008, 5:03pm
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Good for you, Softy! I have one just like that. Drives me nuts. I have stopped calling her also. She does some really weird stuff. Example: the other night a number of girlfriends were out together at a local "family" bar -- if there is such a thing. they have a nice restaurant and a small quiet type bar. She was taking pictures of us goofing around together. And one friend (a real friend) didn't want her picture taken so she was hiding behind a napkin. So I decided to do the Arabian priincess thing -- hiding behind my napkin with those "eyes". Wow. What a great picture of me that was! But she wouldn't let me see it! She has a jealousy issue or something. Who knows.


I'm over it.
 
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