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Steventhetravler Steventhetravler is offline
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SEVERAL MATCHES HAVE LISTED "TRUSTING" AS THE MOST IMPORTANT ATTRIBUTE THEY ARE LOOKING FOR IN A MAN......SO, WHAT DOES THIS TELL YOU????


MY FIRST GUESS IS,.... THEY AREPROBABLY A VERY UNTRUSTING PERSON THEMSELVES AND THEY REALLY WANT TO BE SUPER CAREFULL ABOUT THE NEXT DATE/GUY. HOWEVER, IT COULD BE ALOT MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT. FOR EXAMPLE, THIS MAY BE A PERSON WHO IS USING EH, ANDLOOKING ALLOVER THE COUNTRY FOR SOMEONE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH, BUTSHE IS TELLING YOUHER PLAN IS TO DATE FOR MONTHS TO ESTABLISH A TRUST LEVEL, BEFORE EVEN THINKING OF SHARING A BED WITH HER MATCH. IT DON'T MATTER TO HER THAT SHE'S BEEN MARRIED 4 TIMES, HAS HAD MORE THAN DOUBLE YOUR LAYS, OR THAT YOUR 4 STATES AWAY. SHE WANTS YOU TO KNOW UP FRONT... SHE WANTS YOU TO BE TRUSTING.


WHAT'S GOING ON HERE??? THINK ABOUT IT, COULD THIS ATTRACTIVE MATCH BE OFF HER MEDICATION??? WHEN I WORKED IN THE PSYH. HOSPITAL, THE DOCTORS WOULD REMIND ME IF I COULDEN'T ESTABLISH A TRUST WITH A PATIENT WITHIN 5 TO 7 MINUTES, BACK OFF, AND LET THE MEDICINE WORK, A FEW MORE DAYS. I'M A NURSE WHO DISPENSES MEDICATION, NOT IN A PSYH. HOSPITALANY MORE, AND YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVEHOW MANY WOMEN ARE ON MEDICATION, THAT INVOLVES, OR INFLUENCES THEIR LEVEL OF TRUST. IT IS A WAY LARGER PERCENTAGE THAN ANY LAYMAN MIGHT BELIEVE.


SO, HOW DO WE HANDLE THIS 'TRUST' SITUATION WHEN IT JUST COULD BE, HER TRUST HANG UP???? IT MAY BE SHE IS TRYING TO COVER UP OR DISCISE HER PROBLEM. HOW ARE WE GOING TO KNOW???


I WOULD BE INTERESTED IN YOUR COMENTS, BOTH MALE AND FEMALE.
- August 11th, 2008, 07:13 pm
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chawks64 chawks64 is online now
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Wow, that could be a lot of things.


I have an insecure ex, and he would always accusing me of cheating. I never have,on anyone, ever. He did it just so I would constantly reassure him that he was the only one. That got a little old after about a decade. So now I can't stand it when someone is distrusting of me. If you think I'm capable of cheating, why are you with me?


But some women may have other reasons. Maybe they have a job where they are around a lot of men, and the issue has come up in past relationships. Could be totally innocent.


Personally, I wouldn't put it as one of my most important attributes in a man. Maybe TrustWORTHY, but not Trusting. It's almost like saying you want a man that's Gullible.


- August 11th, 2008, 08:48 pm
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Hmmm, then again, maybe you're just a little cynical. Could it be that she's been with a control freak, and just wants to be with someone who trusts her? Plain and simple. To take a simple statement like wanting someone who is trusting, and make it all complicated like you did makes me think that you're the one off your meds. IMHO of course.
- August 11th, 2008, 09:01 pm
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dancing11freak dancing11freak is offline
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I have been in a relationship that didn't work based solely on the fact that "he" wasn't trusting. This was his issue to begin with, and something I am not accustommed to. I am anindependent successful woman that is used to not answering to every little moment of my life. I am not a cheater, just independent. If I am in a meeting with 5 male co-workers, that doesn't mean I am sleeping with them (nor would I want to), my career fulfills part of me that makes me who I am. Nobody needs someone that is constantly spying, prying, questioning, and doubting their every word. It will make a woman pull back, and ultimately leave.
- August 11th, 2008, 09:28 pm
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wwd123 wwd123 is offline
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Seems to me that trust is a matter of faith, in your self and another. If you don’t believe in yourself then how can you trust someone else? Your “trust” is already misplaced. [/b]

- August 11th, 2008, 10:41 pm
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brit3164 brit3164 is offline
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Dont question what she says or does. Take her word at face value.
- August 11th, 2008, 11:36 pm
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jayjay jayjay is offline
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I think itmay be common thatpeople whoare especially emphatic about 'trust' have been burned in the past by someone who was extremely distrustful. Hopefullypeople who have hadsuch an experience willbe able to get over the experience and learn that others can be trusting.
- August 12th, 2008, 08:12 am
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dnnmllr dnnmllr is online now
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wwd123 wrote :

Seems to me that trust is a matter of faith, in your self and another. If you don’t believe in yourself then how can you trust someone else? Your “trust” is already misplaced. [/b]

I agree.
- August 12th, 2008, 03:09 pm
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Tessa999 Tessa999 is offline
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wwd123 wrote :

Seems to me that trust is a matter of faith, in your self and another. If you don’t believe in yourself then how can you trust someone else? Your “trust” is already misplaced. [/b]

You are a wise Man, WW -


exactly-


Trusting is the key to a good relationship if there is no trust - its an exercise not a relationship.


If you trust yourself - you have good judgement in other people- If the issue of trust arises .. or needs to be mentioned - you`d have to ask yourself .. why .


So in answer to the initial question : It is an issue because you feel it is , very strongly - therefore it exists. - within both of you.


Do you need issues ..


- August 14th, 2008, 04:58 pm
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YumYum YumYum is offline
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jayjay wrote :

I think itmay be common thatpeople whoare especially emphatic about 'trust' have been burned in the past by someone who was extremely distrustful. Hopefullypeople who have hadsuch an experience willbe able to get over the experience and learn that others can be trusting.
You are sooooo right. Many people do not word their responses and profiles exactly. We have to be aware that some are looking for someone that they can trust and/or a trustworthy partner. People of both sexes have been hurt to extremes that some of us cannot imagine, and still we have to give them some credit for wanting to try again and not giving up or swallowing Prozac. A man or woman who is willing to listen,maybe evendeal with the ups and downs of a relationship where they truly have to stand on their word and sustain a few episodes of scrutiny at the beginning of the relationship may truly be rewarded with a trustworthy and loyal partner who will be able to live in the moment with them (without question)in the future.
- August 14th, 2008, 05:33 pm
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