aliamarie25 is offline aliamarie25 Post #1  August 5,2008, 7:15pm
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i have a feeling i don't get picked because i am alittle overweight, and i am a single mom... i have been on eharmony before, different times, with no luck, but now that i am a single mom, i find it even more difficult to attract guys. it's almost like they think, oh she is a mother, besides i look 18-19 even though i am 25... she's a mother and dont want to mess with kids or the dad thing.. am i wrong on thinking this??? i know not every guy is against single mothers.
 
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jadedu714 is offline jadedu714 Post #2  October 21,2008, 1:35pm
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I know how you feel. I'm a 27 year old single mom and have had MANY occasions when I've hit it off with a guy only to have him disappear after learning of my kiddo. I dunno if its the kid that turns them off, or the having to deal with a "baby daddy" (lol), which I can understand. However, there are guys out there (like the one I have recently found) who appreciate the strength and courage it takes to be a single mom. The best compliment I've been given was him telling me he thinks I am a great mother. Hang in there and when you feel down, pat yourself on the back for being such a strong person, and know that you WILL find a great guy who appreciates all you do.


How old are/is your kiddo(s)? Its nice to meet another single mom with the same issues!
 
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LonelyStarState is offline LonelyStarState Post #3  October 21,2008, 1:59pm

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when dealing with single women who are moms... accepting herchildren is part of the package =0)
 
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BrownEyedGirlOC is offline BrownEyedGirlOC Post #4  October 21,2008, 2:55pm
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jadedu714,302679 wrote :

I know how you feel. I'm a 27 year old single mom and have had MANY occasions when I've hit it off with a guy only to have him disappear after learning of my kiddo. I dunno if its the kid that turns them off, or the having to deal with a "baby daddy" (lol), which I can understand. However, there are guys out there (like the one I have recently found) who appreciate the strength and courage it takes to be a single mom. The best compliment I've been given was him telling me he thinks I am a great mother. Hang in there and when you feel down, pat yourself on the back for being such a strong person, and know that you WILL find a great guy who appreciates all you do.


How old are/is your kiddo(s)? Its nice to meet another single mom with the same issues!
+1. I'm a single mom too.
 
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m8se69 is offline m8se69 Post #5  October 21,2008, 3:38pm
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I think for some men, they know they will not be #1 in your life.
 
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Songryder is offline Songryder Post #6  October 21,2008, 3:56pm
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aliamarie25, wrote :

i have a feeling i don't get picked because i am alittle overweight, and i am a single mom... i have been on eharmony before, different times, with no luck, but now that i am a single mom, i find it even more difficult to attract guys. it's almost like they think, oh she is a mother, besides i look 18-19 even though i am 25... she's a mother and dont want to mess with kids or the dad thing.. am i wrong on thinking this??? i know not every guy is against single mothers.
If you have a child or children, then the guy your with actually has to be a "man". If they're looking for their mommies, they're not gonna want to date someone with children.


Guys that enjoy a family life are the ones you need to target and I'd state you are a single mom in your profile and state it proudly. It takes an enormous amount of management and multi-task skills to be a single parent . . . this is no small task; it's a lifelong one and the guy you're with either accepts it or he shouldn't be in the picture.
 
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flgal is offline flgal Post #7  October 21,2008, 5:46pm
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Squire,302900 wrote :

aliamarie25, wrote :


i have a feeling i don't get picked because i am alittle overweight, and i am a single mom... i have been on eharmony before, different times, with no luck, but now that i am a single mom, i find it even more difficult to attract guys. it's almost like they think, oh she is a mother, besides i look 18-19 even though i am 25... she's a mother and dont want to mess with kids or the dad thing.. am i wrong on thinking this??? i know not every guy is against single mothers.


Like many men, I usually prefer women without children for my own reasons. I've dated women with kids and decided it just wasn't my "cup of tea".


That being said, my brother prefers women with kids, as he has a young child of his own. He feels he might be compatible with other single parents and prefers the idea of dating them.


So you see, there are men for every kind of woman available. Just be patient
Squire, that was very well said.
 
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FruitaBu is offline FruitaBu Post #8  October 22,2008, 4:17am
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It is possible that the age range you are in makes a difference. Many men who are under 30 might shy away from a single mom because there are many women available in that age range without kids. When I was on eH at 36, I never found that type of issue. Most of my matches had children also or they were open to dating someone with a child.


I think it is important for men to get a sense that you want to find someone for YOU and not just someone to be a father figure to your child. If you talk about your child too much in the beginning then they might get that impression and shy away from it too.





Just a few ideas.





As far as the weight issue... there are many threads on that so I won't comment too much on it. If you feel like it is hindering your chances, then you can always work on that a bit too. As difficult as it is to lose weight for all of us, it is something we have control over. Just be proud of who you are and be confident.


Good luck!
 
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Tantalus is offline Tantalus Post #9  October 22,2008, 11:57am
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I'm sorry to say that you're probably right about the kid thing. I personally am not sure I want kids of my own yet, so taking on someone else's is out of the question. I also don't particularly like the idea of not being able to share first time mistakes and discoveries with my partner. If I had been married before and had at least discussed having children with my wife, I imagine my outlook would be completely different.
 
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ResidentWeirdo is offline ResidentWeirdo Post #10  October 22,2008, 12:52pm
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I'm sure it's probably a factor, especially for men around your age. Most men at that age aren't ready to deal with kids.


I'm a woman, but I don't date single fathers. Sorry, I just have no interest in dating a parent. It's definitely a factor for many people when deciding whether or not to date someone.
 
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