Wiser today is offline Wiser today Post #11  February 11,2008, 5:50am
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Right letters.......wrong word! COMMITMENT, COMMITMENT, COMMITMENT!!! In today' society everybody wants chickens but no one wants to start with eggs. As mature, intelligent adults wouldn't we understand the prerequisites to great sex don't start with "touch me here, squeeze me there." I believe that commitment builds trust, trust builds comfortability, and that leads to better communication. Who wants to have sex with someone they can't trust? Think about it. Today it could cost you your health, and at worst your life. I'll hold out for the commitment and trust.
 
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TheLoverSpeaks is offline TheLoverSpeaks Post #12  February 11,2008, 7:31am
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communication is everything! you might think that too much communication in the beginning can ruin a passionate moment, but it's exactly the opposite! communication adds to the excitement. as a man whose top priority is making sure my partner is delirious with pleasure, every ounce of communication worth its weight in gold. sure, you might feel extremely vulnerable by telling a new partner something so intimate about yourself. but if the information is valued by someone like myself, then risk is more than worth the reward! don't give away everything at once, however. keep the exploration going and going and going....
 
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Howdy is offline Howdy Post #13  February 11,2008, 11:30am
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This is interesting to keep in mind for the future: marriage. Meanwhile, communication in a dating (or any) relationship is the only way to get to know someone. I've found in dating relationships that verbal communication, affectionate communication (if kept chaste and sweet, if there's a breakup it is much less hurtful), and written communication are great for encouraging and growing in friendship. I've also found praying together in a dating relationship to be the most intimate and sweet, to share our relationships with God with each other. I can imagine what huge benefit and blessing this gives to a marriage, and I've seen it ib others'.
 
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foxlamb is offline foxlamb Post #14  February 11,2008, 2:22pm
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While I agree completely regarding communication and intimacy, several woman I have dated clearly expressed being uncomfortable talking directly about sexual preferences, especially during sex. Their expectation, it would seem, is that as the male, "active" partner I should be able to take the intiative and read their likes and dislikes without asking. As crazy as this sounds I suspect this expectation of men, conscious or not, is fairly prevalent.
 
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angel meadow is offline angel meadow Post #15  February 11,2008, 8:22pm
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Howdy,59477 wrote :
This is interesting to keep in mind for the future: marriage. Meanwhile, communication in a dating (or any) relationship is the only way to get to know someone. I've found in dating relationships that verbal communication, affectionate communication (if kept chaste and sweet, if there's a breakup it is much less hurtful), and written communication are great for encouraging and growing in friendship. I've also found praying together in a dating relationship to be the most intimate and sweet, to share our relationships with God with each other. I can imagine what huge benefit and blessing this gives to a marriage, and I've seen it ib others'.
I totally agree with your idea of communicating in different ways while dating to build a deeper friendship. And it's especially important to foster that friendship if anything deeper, like marriage, is going to happen. I've also found that prayer can be the most rewarding times of intimacy with God anda person you are dating, or even a friend.
 
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brenda-jean is offline brenda-jean Post #16  February 11,2008, 8:25pm
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just want to agree and affirm that "communication" is not limited to talking! there are many ways to converse.
 
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DC Lady is offline DC Lady Post #17  February 11,2008, 8:25pm
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My first eHarmony date last week resulted in my shy guy indicating he was ready for sexual intimacy on the first night. Wow. He was not as shy as I thought and I was not as carefree as he thought. There should be a special commentunder the close communication button for his kind.
 
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cu_isus is offline cu_isus Post #18  February 11,2008, 11:27pm
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I guess I've been nieve about this site. I thought everyone who signed up for eharmony were believers...those who read and followed God's Word, which clearly indicates how God feels about sex outside of marriage. Though I don't thinks it's inappropriate to talk about the subject, I definately think God calls us to wait.
 
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LionHeart...o..O... is offline LionHeart...o..O... Post #19  February 12,2008, 6:47am
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THE REQUIST... The concept of a request is quite simple... The requestor gets to ask for anything her or she desires... The respondent has three choices... Yes, No, or Negotiate... AND most importantly the requestor is required NOT to take respondents choice personally... Thus an extremely safe container is created...
 
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Jdipiaz is offline Jdipiaz Post #20  February 12,2008, 9:14am
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I am glad I clicked on this topic. I was expecting a different article. However, this article validated for me that I am a good communicator in and out of the bedroom and made me feel better that I like to ask questions and talk while enjoying intimacy with my partner.I cannot agree more. My dad taught me long ago that it is very important to enjoy sex with your partner and to ask and convey likes and dislikes to increase ejoyment and fulfillment of the entire experience before during foreplay and even after the main event.I have always considered the bedroom a fun and happy place. Great Article !
 
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