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eharmonyadvice eharmonyadvice is offline
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Not sure how you come off to other people? It's a common problem. See if you're sending that special someone the wrong signal.
- July 25th, 2008, 02:05 pm
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Songryder Songryder is offline
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Songryder A smile is worth singing for!

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eharmonyadvice, wrote :

Not sure how you come off to other people? It's a common problem. See if you're sending that special someone the wrong signal.
Well I have a beeper that goes off when I shift into reverse, does that count?


I get the point. Truthfully, I'm a friendly person and people can assume that we're best friends and have known each other forever when we meet because I'm easy to talk with andthey feel comfortable right away. It can be misconstrued by some men as "Wow, this is the one!". It then becomes, "Uh, hold on Sparky, I asked you to pass the salt not the pre-nup." It's something I need to work on in terms of setting some clear communication before we meet that I'm a slow mover and no matter how comfortable we may feel initially (which isn't necessarily a bad thing), I need time to get to know you.


I've learned when I'm in OC with someone to be up front about the what I need and if the guy agrees, we'll continue talking and he's perfectly willing to communicate what he wants and expects as well. If we agree fine. If not, no harm, no foul. Being honest up front will save a lot of time and energy in terms of getting mixed signals.
- July 25th, 2008, 09:53 pm
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tani tani is offline
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i can do it myself





- July 31st, 2008, 10:09 pm
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LoriLee39 LoriLee39 is offline
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I'm kind of independant. I don't like to ask anyone for help with things. Not because I don't want help, but because I don't want to put anyone out. I have always had to do things for myself. Is this a turn-off for guys? I was also told recently by a man that he dosen't want to be my rebound guy. I have really liked (loved him as a friend for a couple years). I don't feel it's a rebound thing. I have been on a few dates with other guys, but so far no one does it for me, but him.???? help
- August 1st, 2008, 01:51 pm
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FrankDrebin FrankDrebin is offline
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The wrong ones I guess. Out of 215 matches, I only made it to open communication with 3, and only met 1. The one I met, it was obvious to both of us that we weren't right for each other, the match was closed the next day.


Most of my matches just ignore me and never respond.


I asked if I could redo the origional questions, or if eH could do something to change the type of women I'm being matched with, but I got a packaged response full of the 29 demensions bs.


I was honest when I did the questions.





I do tend to be a little dry and to the point when communicating with a stranger over the internet. I am more of an in person type. I find I have writers block when it comes to asking questions to a stranger. It's easier in person or over the phone.


I am a good man! But I am unable to show it. I guess I have to compete with all the other guys throwing out game and bullshit. I can't believe some of the crap I overhear guys say to women in the bar, and they buy it.


Nice guys do finish last, I think need to find a way to become a full ofbs a-hole.
- August 1st, 2008, 06:00 pm
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Kelligirl Kelligirl is offline
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LoriLee39 wrote :

I'm kind of independant. I don't like to ask anyone for help with things. Not because I don't want help, but because I don't want to put anyone out. I have always had to do things for myself. Is this a turn-off for guys? I was also told recently by a man that he dosen't want to be my rebound guy. I have really liked (loved him as a friend for a couple years). I don't feel it's a rebound thing. I have been on a few dates with other guys, but so far no one does it for me, but him.???? help
I have the opposite problem. There's a guy that I really like. When I first divorced, I didn't want him to be MY rebound guy. We had flirted many years ago, before I was married, but obviously I made the wrong choice. Once I divorced, he started the flirtation again. I liked him too much and knew that I wasn't ready for a relationship, so I avoided him. Now it seems the more attention I give him, the more he avoids me. I know he's not seeing anyone. I thought I was doing the right thing by not hurting him when I wasn't ready???? Help!!!
- August 2nd, 2008, 09:35 pm
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Kelligirl Kelligirl is offline
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LoriLee39 wrote :

I'm kind of independant. I don't like to ask anyone for help with things. Not because I don't want help, but because I don't want to put anyone out. I have always had to do things for myself. Is this a turn-off for guys? I was also told recently by a man that he dosen't want to be my rebound guy. I have really liked (loved him as a friend for a couple years). I don't feel it's a rebound thing. I have been on a few dates with other guys, but so far no one does it for me, but him.???? help
Sorry LoriLee, back to you............take it from my experience, talk to him. If you don't think he'll be a rebound and that you two have a chance, tell him very clearly and openly. I think, obviously, I made a mistake.
- August 2nd, 2008, 09:39 pm
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iyampeachy iyampeachy is offline
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How do I come off to others? As a dork! C'es la vie. If I could be what I should, I would, but since that is quite an impossible task, I shall remain as I yam. As for sending that special someone the wrong signal, I have yet to see anyone be honest enough to tell me just exactly what signal it is that I'm sending! So the search continues, not because I am sending "wrong" signals, but because I have not received any honest replies. Again, c'est la vie. Change what you have control over; accept that which you have no control. But what do I know? I just had an incredibly great time with a bunch of friends at a gay bar! A toast to a new (to me) invention called "the pear" and my latest epiphany which promises to bring me some peace. <--dork, and proud of it!
- August 3rd, 2008, 03:11 am
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lost_as_anyone lost_as_anyone is offline
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FrankDrebin wrote :

The wrong ones I guess. Out of 215 matches, I only made it to open communication with 3, and only met 1. The one I met, it was obvious to both of us that we weren't right for each other, the match was closed the next day.


Most of my matches just ignore me and never respond.


I asked if I could redo the origional questions, or if eH could do something to change the type of women I'm being matched with, but I got a packaged response full of the 29 demensions bs.


I was honest when I did the questions.





I do tend to be a little dry and to the point when communicating with a stranger over the internet. I am more of an in person type. I find I have writers block when it comes to asking questions to a stranger. It's easier in person or over the phone.


I am a good man! But I am unable to show it. I guess I have to compete with all the other guys throwing out game and bullshit. I can't believe some of the crap I overhear guys say to women in the bar, and they buy it.


Nice guys do finish last, I think need to find a way to become a full ofbs a-hole.
DON'T become the bs a-hole. Sometimes, a nice guy comes in next to last and sometimes that's enough.


I feel your pain man. If I'd known how this site worked before I'd signed up, I never would have signed up. I feel a bit foolish thinking I could find someone who was supposedly looking for someone themselves. I've had very few matches and have never managed to get even one guy tocommunicate with me. I suppose the lack of matches is due to the fact thatI'm so darn unique and there's no oneout there quite like me. At least, I TRY to look at it that way.


- August 14th, 2008, 05:11 am
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JoeGarrett JoeGarrett is offline
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LoriLee39 wrote :

I'm kind of independant. I don't like to ask anyone for help with things. Not because I don't want help, but because I don't want to put anyone out. I have always had to do things for myself. Is this a turn-off for guys? I was also told recently by a man that he dosen't want to be my rebound guy. I have really liked (loved him as a friend for a couple years). I don't feel it's a rebound thing. I have been on a few dates with other guys, but so far no one does it for me, but him.???? help
To start and independant woman is a turn on for me. If I am not expected to do everything it reduces friction and will lead to better things. You need to communicate your feelings over a quite dinner subtlly but, make sure they don't go over his head. He may think your just playing around. You should intamately kiss him at the end of your quite evening and ask how he feels.
- August 14th, 2008, 07:03 am
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