to call a rose by any other name...


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Faraday is online now Faraday Post #1  February 22,2012, 6:07am
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We talk a lot about trying to keep people in the potential dating pool but I'm wondering if you would keep a match in your pool if he spelled your name completely different than how you signed it at the bottom of an email.

Would you take it as absentmindedness or as a slight insult? What if they did it more than once despite you spelling it correctly in your next email?

I didn't say, "actually, I prefer "Faraday" to "Fairadae"." But I did spell it "Faraday" at the end of every email sent. It made me kind of feel unimportant ...it's just weird because I had not one, but TWO matches do that yesterday.

Am I being too sensitive?
 
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harnomygirl is offline harnomygirl Post #2  February 22,2012, 6:52am
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Sometimes people misspell my first and last names. I do correct them. I don't want to get a birthday card, or something like that, with the wrong spelling.

It's unlikely anyone will be offended by the correction, and you shouldn't be by the mistake. People read the gist of things and don't really take note of spelling unless it's pointed out to them.
 
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JoesComments is offline JoesComments Post #3  February 22,2012, 6:57am
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I think you are being too sensitive. Particularly if your name has an unusual spelling. If it bothers you that much, point it out in your next email reply. Maybe "FYI - it's xxz, not xxy.".

Then, if he continues, you can be slightly annoyed.
 
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dmi is online now dmi Post #4  February 22,2012, 6:58am
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Hi Farrah Day.

I get that occasionally. I usually respond signed with the correct spelling the first time. After the second time, I usually misspell their name in as humorous fashion as possible and they get the message.

I only find it very mildly irritating.


dmi
 
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barbarella_42 is offline barbarella_42 Post #5  February 22,2012, 7:42am
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This doesn't bother me at all. My name is quite straightforward and simple (I think), but my family, friends, and work environment are all very international, so my name is misspelled and mispronounced much more often than not. Not a big deal. I might feel a little differently if my life had more cultural homegeneity, though.
 
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barbarella_42 is offline barbarella_42 Post #6  February 22,2012, 8:09am
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barbarella_42 wrote :
This doesn't bother me at all. My name is quite straightforward and simple (I think), but my family, friends, and work environment are all very international, so my name is misspelled and mispronounced much more often than not. Not a big deal. I might feel a little differently if my life had more cultural homegeneity, though.
homegeneity --> homogeneity. Sigh.
 
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RVAGirl72 is offline RVAGirl72 Post #7  February 22,2012, 8:14am
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I have an unusual middle name, but since it's the name I go by, I often say, "Romaine, like the lettuce" so they'll know. What I would get irritated by was the fact that my profile used to only show my first legal name of Clara and I couldn't change it so I made a point to specify that I go by my middle name in my profile info and when it got to the point of communicating, I'd still get emails to Clara!! I didn't mind correcting them of what to call me the first time but when I would get called Clara two or three more times, I stopped communicating. I felt that if they couldn't take the time to truly read what I was saying in my profile & then several emails and at least call me by the right name, they weren't worth my time.
 
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notyet is offline notyet Post #8  February 22,2012, 8:19am
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dmi wrote :
I only find it very mildly irritating.
i have a common first name but with several variant spellings. the first misspelling i find mildly irritating. but after that, the irritation goes up to a point that i will not tolerate.

i find it reflective of attention to detail and just how much they pay attention to me. maybe shallow, i know, but if you cannot get my name right, i am probably not that important to you.
 
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Faraday is online now Faraday Post #9  February 22,2012, 8:34am
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notyet wrote :
i have a common first name but with several variant spellings. the first misspelling i find mildly irritating. but after that, the irritation goes up to a point that i will not tolerate.

i find it reflective of attention to detail and just how much they pay attention to me. maybe shallow, i know, but if you cannot get my name right, i am probably not that important to you.

That's how it made me feel
----------------------------------------------

I'll toughen up though and point out how I spell it...the funny thing is, I don't normally care. People do spell my name wrong all the time and it doesn't bother me...but I feel like someone who is trying to get to know me as a potential date should care enough to get it right...oh well
 
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emma_hazards is offline emma_hazards Post #10  February 22,2012, 8:44am
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Depends on the type of misspelling, our conversations to date, his personality, and how strong the connection.

For example, if he was a huge fan of all things medieval, jousted on weekends, and played with my name during our conversations, I would think Faraday to Fairadae might be his cute way of trying to build a connection.

On the other hand, if my name is spelled Mari, and he spelled it Mary, I would feel slighted by the second misspelling.

Spelling names correctly matters a lot to me, but I realize that many people don't attach as much significance to this as I do.

dmi's approach is probably the best way to attack the issue if you really like the person.

Best of luck!
 
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