Are you Christmas Compatible?


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LDJ is offline LDJ Post #1  December 23,2011, 5:27am
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I'm wondering what are your feelings, honestly and in the freedom here of annonymity, about the holidays? Do you indulge in and soak up all the warm and fuzziness of family and friends and shopping for them and cooking etc? How many find it overwhelming, daunting, maybe resentful of the demands on time, finances, emotions etc??? If you're in the latter group, how do you manage that? Do you put on a happy face and pretend until it passes?

Secondly, what does everyone have to share about navigating a new relationship at this time of year? Any awesome good or not so good stories about trying to mesh differing traditions, or understand a new partner's traditions or perspective on this time of year? Do you think in LTRs this season brings people closer or causes more friction between couples?
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #2  December 23,2011, 6:11am
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I find it all a task thus there is no pleasure in going out picking and buying presents.

It's much more enjoyable buying people gifts at other times of the year when it's out of a self motivated desire.

The positive side is it's a break from work.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #3  December 23,2011, 6:17am
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LDJ wrote :
....Secondly, what does everyone have to share about navigating a new relationship at this time of year? Any awesome good or not so good stories about trying to mesh differing traditions, or understand a new partner's traditions or perspective on this time of year? Do you think in LTRs this season brings people closer or causes more friction between couples?
I think, from my experience, this is where I've found out if there are serious issues in a relationship. It can either be utterly emotionally fantastic or an utter disaster. I have experienced both and sometimes with the same woman!

I think it's also about expectations - some people over hype themselves up and over expect regarding their christmas experience - I'm always happy just with food on the table etc.
 
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Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #4  December 23,2011, 6:18am
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There are other options...such as creating your own traditions, going on vacation, doing something new and different. If people are happy with # 1 fine, but....can't imagine why anyone would continue to do # 2.
LDJ wrote :
1) Do you indulge in and soak up all the warm and fuzziness of family and friends and shopping for them and cooking etc?

2) find it overwhelming, daunting, maybe resentful of the demands on time, finances, emotions etc?
 
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harnomygirl is offline harnomygirl Post #5  December 23,2011, 6:33am
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My children's friends keep showing up at my house. They're young and loud and tiring.

I dream of a quiet Christmas in a cabin in the woods, just me and my boyfriend in front of a crackling fire. And servants bringing in cooked meals at regular intervals. The dog is napping sweetly by our feet.

My boyfriend is looking forward to the Christmas that's actually been planned at my sister's house. I'm hoping she has a super emotional fight with her husband about which knife should be used to sliced bread again so my boyfriend will prefer that we go away on our own next year.

I'm kidding. It will be fun. I'm looking forward to it. I had mixed feelings about my too quiet Thanksgiving this year.
Last edited by harnomygirl; December 23,2011 at 7:08am. Reason: I guess I'll know if we're Christmas Compatible by the 26th.
 
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jimmyh452 is offline jimmyh452 Post #6  December 23,2011, 6:50am
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I LOVE Christmas...always have. I love decorating my house, the tree, shopping for the people I love. I'll admit though I do my shopping a bit early to avoid the malls the week before Christmas. Noting ruins the spirit of Christmas like the miserable people pushing each other out of the way to get the last elmo or other "it" toy, the crowded parking lots with people cutting each other off etc.

This is the first year in some time that I have a S/O, so it will be interesting. Since we both have family obligations, we decided to have our own little Christmas tonight at my house. I can't wait. She's bringing dinner, I'm handling the wine and dessert. It's going to be awesome. I can't wait to see her face light up when she opens my present. (also before only in jeeps accuses me of expecting something in return and gifts can only be given when reciprocity is expected...well, I truly don't care if she even gives me anything. Seriously.)
 
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eharmonyjc is offline eharmonyjc Post #7  December 23,2011, 8:54am
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I enjoyed Christmas more when I lived in a large city that had real winter weather, and lots of traditional decorations everywhere, on both businesses and the older homes. Just felt more "Christmas" to me. Now where I live, it's a newer area with strip malls, tract homes with hideous over-sized yard decorations, and no snow, so it's not as enjoyable. Also, I don't live in my own home, so for some reason it's not as fun looking at someone else's decorations. I do enjoy buying gifts for other people, although I'm thankful I only have to buy a few for my immediate family versus having to buy for lots of friends, cousins, etc. That would get stressful.

I haven't had a relationship at Christmas in a very long time so I have no input on the 2nd item
 
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moonette is offline moonette Post #8  December 23,2011, 9:30am
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Sometimes I celebrate holidays with friends and family and sometimes I do a trip with friends. Other than the gifts, which are nominal, the holidays are similar to how I live the rest of the year. I do activities with and cook for family and friends yearround.

I'm intrigued with people who ask things like 'are you ready', or complain about what they're 'expected' to do. Adults can choose what they do.

I grew up being active and that's part of my day every day even on holidays. The guys I've dated longterm and my ex were the same in this way, tho my ex and I had different styles of gift giving. Compatibility there is probably good too.

Finding common ground and appreciating differences is useful in a new relationship, especially at the holidays since you're dealing with family traditions. My ex was the first of his siblings to spend any holiday away from his parents. None of his married siblings, even those who had moved away, spent a holiday with the in-laws or as a couple by themselves. We started a new tradition in his family.
 
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upstategirl is offline upstategirl Post #9  December 23,2011, 9:34am
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I love Christmas! I decorate everything, lots of lights outside, Christmas decorations in almost every room of my house, and I always have two Christmas trees. I love shopping for gifts for my children and family....the excitement and happiness of the look on my children's faces when they open up their gifts is priceless.
 
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boomer_gal is offline boomer_gal Post #10  December 23,2011, 11:00am
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I do love Christmas, although the amount of money and energy that I have available to devote to it have declined over the years. Here are some of my thoughts on the holiday..

As a person of faith, I sincerely attempt to make the celebration more about Jesus' birth than the secular aspects, which I also enjoy. I just try to keep the priorities straight.

I have tried to hang onto the things that bring me joy & let go of things that were more like obligations. I still put up a tree, but I don't decorate the house as much. I send cards out, but selectively, and AFTER Christmas, so I am not as stressed. This year, they won't even be Christmas cards, but hand made (not by me!) cards with beautiful photographs.

I can never get enough Christmas music (though I would really prefer it not start till after Thanksgiving, but that's a whole 'nuther story), so I listen to lots of it. I sing Messiah every year & this is something that is very special for me. It is in early December & starts the Christmas season in a good way.

Christmas Eve service is the absolute high spot of my holidays. It is such a special time with people I love, lots of music, it's just the best.

Christmas night we go to a good friend's house. I am "unofficial family" there. Good food, good friends, killer Bingo. Silly, maybe, but lots of fun. Not sure how many years this tradition will last as the parents (whose house is where this is held) are aging, I will miss it when it is gone.

As far as dating & the holidays, I'm no help...
 
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