Angelkrista is offline Angelkrista Post #1  December 8,2011, 11:03pm
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Shouldn't I have all of this...and passionate kisses?

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I am not sure if I am in the appropriate realm for this, however, I will go with it and hope for a favorable outcome.

I've had discussions over the years and a previous discussion recently on this board has prompted a reiteration of said previous discussion.

I am of the personal belief that everything you do, say, wear, and how you carry yourself is a statement about you. The way you choose to interact, the way you excuse yourself to the restroom, how you handle any situation and present yourself is a reflection of what/who you are.

I have been met in the past with an resounding "NO" (which, to me, is a statement unto itself, but that's kind of the point), but I know they were taking my "statement" factor as a bold point, but, to me, sometimes it's a quiet one. Sometimes we merely eat because we're hungry. That would be a statement, I am hungry therefore I ate. It doesn't have to be a yelling one, nor one you feel the need to get to your feet and make a proclamation for. It just is.

My question is: Do you feel your actions are a statement or accurate reflection of you personally?
Last edited by Angelkrista; December 9,2011 at 9:50am.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #2  December 8,2011, 11:13pm
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No, not always. Sometimes we have to hold our conduct to someone else's standards. While at work we are being paid for our time and to be a representative of the company. Most of us will alter our behavior to suit our employer's tastes and leave our own at the door.

When we are under the influence of certain drugs or alcohol, the same can ring true. I will emphasize "certain". If we choose to consume alcohol, then that in itself says something about ourselves. But, what if we did know grandma made those rum balls with a little extra rum this year? Or, maybe we forgot to eat before that glass of wine and it "hits" us a little harder than anticipated. With drugs I mean legal, prescriptions. My son was recently prescribed a sleeping aid. Wow! The difference in him was astounding just 20 minutes after he took the pills. He was definitely not "himself". I'm sure I've appeared the same way when I've needed to take a heavy duty pain medicine or a sleep aid.

Most of the time, however, I do think that people are a reflection of their actions and choices.
 
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Angelkrista is offline Angelkrista Post #3  December 8,2011, 11:19pm
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Shouldn't I have all of this...and passionate kisses?

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AndieIsMe wrote :
No, not always. Sometimes we have to hold our conduct to someone else's standards. While at work we are being paid for our time and to be a representative of the company. Most of us will alter our behavior to suit our employer's tastes and leave our own at the door.

When we are under the influence of certain drugs or alcohol, the same can ring true. I will emphasize "certain". If we choose to consume alcohol, then that in itself says something about ourselves. But, what if we did know grandma made those rum balls with a little extra rum this year? Or, maybe we forgot to eat before that glass of wine and it "hits" us a little harder than anticipated. With drugs I mean legal, prescriptions. My son was recently prescribed a sleeping aid. Wow! The difference in him was astounding just 20 minutes after he took the pills. He was definitely not "himself". I'm sure I've appeared the same way when I've needed to take a heavy duty pain medicine or a sleep aid.

Most of the time, however, I do think that people are a reflection of their actions and choices.
While certainly a thorough exhibition of the exceptions, I would feel confident in saying that most are exempt from those.

Though, you did completely avoid answering my question.

Is that a statement?
 
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Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #4  December 9,2011, 1:54am
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Some people may not want to think so...but most things are a reflection of you...Many would love to believe all things are situational, or they are a victim of circumstance....Not that anyone has total control over all outcomes, however, everyday choices...short range...long range ...reflect values, state of mind preferences etc..
Angelkrista wrote :
everything you do, say, wear, and how you carry yourself is a statement about you. The way you choose to interact, the way you excuse yourself to the restroom, how you handle any situation and present yourself is a reflection of what/who you are.
Do you feel your actions are a statement of you?
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #5  December 9,2011, 4:30am
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Angelkrista wrote :
I am of the personal belief that everything you do, say, wear, and how you carry yourself is a statement about you. The way you choose to interact, the way you excuse yourself to the restroom, how you handle any situation and present yourself is a reflection of what/who you are.
While it sounds good on the surface, I think the key word you use here is "choose" ...and on that basis, I would have to side with the "no"-sayers on this one.

There are a great many factors (biological, psychological, social, etc) that go into every voluntary action (or inaction) a person chooses to make - and many of these factors can change from moment to moment (mood, for example) and from venue to venue. To say that you could take a specific action of a person at any specific given time and extropolate an accurate overall personality profile from it would be a stretch. The absolute best case scenario you can hope for here is a prediction that, in that specific environment, in their particular state of mind at that time, they behave a certain way.

Accurate behavioral analysis requires a fairly significant assessment of actions (or inactions) in a multitude of environments at a multitude of times (both clock and calendar) - people act differently at a strip club than they do at church ...women act different depending on their menstrual cycle (sorry, ladies, that's a scientific fact) ...etc.

With that said, there are a set of behaviors that you can use totell a lot about someone - these are their involuntary, instinctive actions / reactions. At a very high level, this is generally going to be a purposeful assessment of their fight or flight response ...fight-people don't behave the same as flight-people and visa versa ...and you can make relatively accurate assumptions and predictions of their personality based on this. These are the behaviors people exhibit regardless of situation or environment - be it at a strip club or at church.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #6  December 9,2011, 9:12am
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Angelkrista wrote :
While certainly a thorough exhibition of the exceptions, I would feel confident in saying that most are exempt from those.

Though, you did completely avoid answering my question.

Is that a statement?
I did answer. Look at my last sentence.
 
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harnomygirl is offline harnomygirl Post #7  December 9,2011, 9:45am
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BikerBeagle wrote :
There are a great many factors (biological, psychological, social, etc) that go into every voluntary action (or inaction) a person chooses to make - and many of these factors can change from moment to moment (mood, for example) and from venue to venue. To say that you could take a specific action of a person at any specific given time and extrapolate an accurate overall personality profile from it would be a stretch. The absolute best case scenario you can hope for here is a prediction that, in that specific environment, in their particular state of mind at that time, they behave a certain way.
This ^^^

Even the way you excuse yourself to the restroom can have more to do with the temporary state of your digestive health due to your last meal than anything else.
 
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Angelkrista is offline Angelkrista Post #8  December 9,2011, 9:48am
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Shouldn't I have all of this...and passionate kisses?

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AndieIsMe wrote :
I did answer. Look at my last sentence.
Perhaps I posed the question improperly. It was intended to be person specific, as in do you, Andieisme, feel like your actions make an accurate statement about you?

I'll try to phrase it better in the OP.
 
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Angelkrista is offline Angelkrista Post #9  December 9,2011, 9:58am
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Shouldn't I have all of this...and passionate kisses?

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BikerBeagle wrote :
While it sounds good on the surface, I think the key word you use here is "choose" ...and on that basis, I would have to side with the "no"-sayers on this one.
Isn't it the choice itself that is a "statement"? Even if it's a shift from normal behavior, is that not also a reflection, even if just a temporary one?

ETA: I will use your menstruation example. Lets say I was moody/cranky with my coworkers while "george" was in town (an old friends favorite saying), by me choosing to allow this to affect not only my mood, but my treatment of others, is that not a "statement" about me?
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harnomygirl is offline harnomygirl Post #10  December 9,2011, 10:32am
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Angelkrista wrote :
Isn't it the choice itself that is a "statement"? Even if it's a shift from normal behavior, is that not also a reflection, even if just a temporary one?

ETA: I will use your menstruation example. Lets say I was moody/cranky with my coworkers while "george" was in town (an old friends favorite saying), by me choosing to allow this to affect not only my mood, but my treatment of others, is that not a "statement" about me?
I think it could affect the way others perceived your actions. You might not treat George badly, but you might not be as enthusiastic as he expected. If he is the sort of person who bases his opinion of you on surface perception, then he might decide that the relationship must be over.

That's no loss.

If you do act exactly the same way regardless of personal circumstance you run the risk of never finding anyone who is sensitive to your needs. You won't seem to have any.

My actions are generally a reflection of who I am at the moment. They don't hide who I am from people who care, and that is new for me.
 
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