OKcupid has fried my brain.


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namati is offline namati Post #101  December 9,2011, 3:02pm
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EccentricAmbiguity wrote :
Interesting persepctives and insights! First off if women are more selective by nature, and this has worked for millions of years, I don't see the issue.

What had worked for "cave women" is often at odds with what is desired by modern women. The qualities that made a good "cave man" are often frowned upon today.

I would want to know if we are being more selective than we are in real life.

According to OKC, they are being more selective (search their articles for this). This agrees with what I've seen.

Second, if we are being more selective online then in real life this may be for the following reason: men are more visual and perhaps it is easier for them to see what they like on a screen. I believe women need to feel a man's presence to overlook their "flaws" as you put it. Women are not as motivated by purely visual stimuli.

This is true and is my point. How do you expect a woman that dismisses virtually everyone for superficial reasons to ever meet anyone?

How do you know what your rating is? You hijacked their system?? shame on you!

Well, I did nothing illegal! It's written into the "hidden" part of the profile code.

It is not AT ALL surprising that women would rate you as a 1 because you are in a relationship. Why would that be attractive?

To be clear, I wrote in my profile that I am now only looking for pen-pals and friends of a non-romantic nature. I don't see how my being currently unavailable makes me less desirable when it's generally thought that unattached people are less desirable because they are "unproven" (as in "What's wrong with them that they don't have someone?"). Also, why were these women looking at my profile? They could have filtered me out. They could have also not rated me at all instead of "punishing" me for not being available.

I also got the email letting me know "I'm hot" after I changed my main photo back to a brighter prettier picture of me and now that I think about it I'm pretty sure I got that email the last time I put that pic up some weeks back.
My point is only that a pessimistic approach will likely get one nowhere. There are two types of people that use OKC and other sites; those who look for someone to meet and those who look for reasons not to meet. Both tend to find what they are looking for.
 
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nick222 is offline nick222 Post #102  December 10,2011, 1:50pm
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Vombatus Ursinus wrote :
I also trust OKC's matching process much, much more than I trust the 29 dimensions of compatibility.
Agreed, for the simple reason that OKC always makes its methodology public. eH never has, which makes theirs scientifically worthless.
 
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nick222 is offline nick222 Post #103  December 10,2011, 2:05pm
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olneyjeeps wrote :
Funny, I was just talking with MENSA girl yesterday, she said that when she had tried to get on eH, (10years ago) she was denied "we do not have sufficient matches for your personality type", and her payment was refunded
This doesn't surprise me. While the intelligence required to be a member of MENSA is semi-rare; the type of person, personality-wise, out of those eligible to join who actually bothers to do so and then boasts about it is far more rare. (One out of 50 vs. roughly one out of 1,000, according to my math.)
 
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Betwixt is offline Betwixt Post #104  December 12,2011, 7:02pm
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I have tried both of the services and after trying eHarm for a year I just gave up. There was a few dates and one failed relationship that ended extremely badly and left me with a scarred heart for a while. I don't blame eHarm though, he lied from the start.

I signed up for OKC in June of 2010, after I moved, and found the current boyfriend. I didn't really think much of the site's matching program, it seemed awfully silly but it amused me to answer the questions. I did think it was neat that the questions were all different and member made and always evolving with you and your personality. The BF and I matched up 99% and honestly I can say that we do match like that ^^

The amount of choices on the free site is staggering, especially when you are used to having them searched over on a site like eHarm. I liked knowing that I could pick those who I wanted to contact
 
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dbz77 is offline dbz77 Post #105  December 24,2011, 12:26am
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EccentricAmbiguity wrote :
After my dating hiatus, I thought I would try OKC. It seemed logical if I am "just looking", not really interested in dumping money into something... plus have heard its gaining some popularity.
Ummmm...WOW, having to read through 10 new emails every 3 hours, waking up to emails sent throughout the night, realizing that at 2am several people were looking at your profile in addition to 1000's of profiles to read through has basically melted my brain.
It seems from the outside that having all these possible suitors would be a good thing, but this is most definitely overkill.
Its so strange, its as though having too many choices almost makes it more difficult to see the "specialness" in any one of them.
Anyone else have this experience?
I rarely get e-mails.
 
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