Would you have sex with someone you're not in a relationship with?

I voted yes. It's how every relationship I've ever had has started. We date a few times, sleep together most times before we talk about exclusivity, etc, and, a few weeks later, I realize I'm in a full-blown relationship.

This was the same when I was 18 or now, at age 43. Everyone from my two ex-husbands to guys I dated long-term but didn't marry.

Of course there are times when it doesn't work out and we don't keep dating, but I feel that becoming intimate with someone is one of the steps toward building a relationship and knowing you're compatible at all levels, including sexually.

I just did it this weekend, as a matter of fact. Went out with a great guy on Tuesday, again on Thursday and then Friday. I invited him to spend the night on Friday, said that I wasn't promising sex, but would like to cuddle all night. He stayed over, we had a wonderfully romantic evening and then, on Saturday morning, we had sex. Twice. And he went home for a few hours, came back over last night, and we cuddled on the couch all night and watched movies and had sex again and he stayed over again.

The only difference with him versus other guys is that, on Thursday night, I actually told him that once I have sex with someone, I can't sleep with anyone else. He said he's exactly the same way.

Fo me, having had two nights of close relations and spending tons of time together is, to me, the start of a potential relationship. Without that, I wouldn't know if I was compatible with someone.

I know this will be considered incredibly old fashioned, but screw being in a relationship. I'm not going to have sex with anyone I'm not married to. I know, I know, that's just incredibly Neanderthal of me, but it worked for thousands of years before we got so smart we could have a 50% divorce rate and 40% of children born out of wedlock. So, maybe somebody was on to something. Just sayin'.

Interesting. My question is, don't you worry that by bringing sex into the the mix so early it might cloud your objective judgment of the man in other areas? That you might stay together longer than you might have without the sex because it is that enjoyable that you over look other problems?

Interesting. My question is, don't you worry that by bringing sex into the the mix so early it might cloud your objective judgment of the man in other areas? That you might stay together longer than you might have without the sex because it is that enjoyable that you over look other problems?

in my case, sex with my ex-husband was absolutely awful. I know, a lot of people say that. but it really, really was horrible. so I went, essentially, ten years without good sex. that has made great sex a priority to me. I want to know from the beginning if someone can make me sizzle. and now I know that this guy has more sizzle than a skilletful of bacon!

I voted yes. It's how every relationship I've ever had has started. We date a few times, sleep together most times before we talk about exclusivity, etc, and, a few weeks later, I realize I'm in a full-blown relationship.

This was the same when I was 18 or now, at age 43. Everyone from my two ex-husbands to guys I dated long-term but didn't marry.

Of course there are times when it doesn't work out and we don't keep dating, but I feel that becoming intimate with someone is one of the steps toward building a relationship and knowing you're compatible at all levels, including sexually.

I just did it this weekend, as a matter of fact. Went out with a great guy on Tuesday, again on Thursday and then Friday. I invited him to spend the night on Friday, said that I wasn't promising sex, but would like to cuddle all night. He stayed over, we had a wonderfully romantic evening and then, on Saturday morning, we had sex. Twice. And he went home for a few hours, came back over last night, and we cuddled on the couch all night and watched movies and had sex again and he stayed over again.

The only difference with him versus other guys is that, on Thursday night, I actually told him that once I have sex with someone, I can't sleep with anyone else. He said he's exactly the same way.

Fo me, having had two nights of close relations and spending tons of time together is, to me, the start of a potential relationship. Without that, I wouldn't know if I was compatible with someone.

I just never felt the need to formalize anything...except marriage. Spoils the romance, doncha know.