captainreptar is offline captainreptar Post #1  August 8,2011, 12:34pm
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more along the lines of a question to woman out there. do men with no experience in a relationship frighten you, even if he has a good head on his shoulders?

i myself have never kissed a girl, nor been in a relationship.im still virgin ( god help me ). im 250lbs 6ft tall and ive been told im not that hideous. and yes i lack self confidence as far as everything is concerned about me.

im just curious why woman dont want to deal with someone like myself? how's a person supposed to get any self confidence, or experience when he is never given the shot?
 
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Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #2  August 8,2011, 12:39pm
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How old are you? A virgin at 23 and a virgin at 43 are two totally different men.
 
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tangochef is offline tangochef Post #3  August 8,2011, 12:45pm
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captainreptar wrote :
...

im just curious why woman dont want to deal with someone like myself? how's a person supposed to get any self confidence, or experience when he is never given the shot?
I think it might be the fact that you are 250lbs at 6'. If you re-read your post and change the genders I am sure that you will get the same answer. That is the same problem overweight women complain about.

Good news is that you are not 5'4", and have the same problem, because height can not be fixed.

Being overweight, however can be fixed. I'd recommend diet and exercise after seeing a doctor, and work on yourself. Once the weight comes off not only you will gain confidence, but also be more attractive to the opposite sex.

Good luck.
 
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captainreptar is offline captainreptar Post #4  August 8,2011, 12:58pm
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@ dropdead, i am a 21 year old virgin. sure there is a difference between a 40yr old virgin, however the face that 14yr old kids are running around having sex and im not kinda hurts.

@tango sure its the same way if a girl said the same thing. but you cant compare a guy's feature on wieght to that of a girls. a guy can be 150pounds and look like a toothpic meanwhile the girl looks like a blimp.
 
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tangochef is offline tangochef Post #5  August 8,2011, 1:05pm
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BMI as a guideline is gender neutral. 6' and 250 lbs is 33.9. Here are the categories:

  • Normal weight = 18.5-24.9
  • Overweight = 25-29.9
  • Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater
Also, no one is saying to be 150 pounds at 6'.
 
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ChainMan is offline ChainMan Post #6  August 8,2011, 1:17pm
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captainreptar wrote :
more along the lines of a question to woman out there. do men with no experience in a relationship frighten you, even if he has a good head on his shoulders?

i myself have never kissed a girl, nor been in a relationship.im still virgin ( god help me ). im 250lbs 6ft tall and ive been told im not that hideous. and yes i lack self confidence as far as everything is concerned about me.

im just curious why woman dont want to deal with someone like myself? how's a person supposed to get any self confidence, or experience when he is never given the shot?
You've got to not make any excuses. Take accountability for what you want. Build your confidence.
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #7  August 8,2011, 1:18pm
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captainreptar wrote :
im just curious why woman dont want to deal with someone like myself? how's a person supposed to get any self confidence, or experience when he is never given the shot?
Women don't want to deal with "someone like you" not simply because you haven't dated, or have no sexual experience, but because you don't seem to want to take any responsibility for making things different. So many people (guys and girls) post how they've "never been lucky in love..." or how "no one ever gives me a chance..." and boo-hoo. Would you want to date someone like that?

Look, I have said before on these boards that I never dated much when I was younger, and a lot of that was because of all of that "late-bloomer" stuff, which I think is perfectly valid for a lot of people. But, you can either fall back on that as a crutch, or you can say "You know what? That sucks. And I wish things had been different. But they just weren't." Basically, get over yourself.

If you keep trying to meet people, all the while announcing "You know, I really have no idea what I am doing here... So, if you could just give me a shot, then you'd see that I'm not actually a social freak. Really." then you're not going to have much success. Sure, there may be a couple of women who are going to be willing to take you on as a sort of "project". But, those are not the women you should be concentrating on. They have their own issues.

I really don't think there's any reason to announce your perceived inadequacies to the world. That only makes them seem way more important than they are. I am not saying to lie. If you are asked directly "How many relationships have you had?" then you should answer honestly: "I really haven't dated that much". You may run into some women who expect to date a guy with much more experience. And those are not the right women for you, so don't worry about them.

Every date you go on gives you more experience. The virgin thing is tough for a lot of guys, so decide what you really want. Do you want a "girlfriend"? Or do you just want to "not be a virgin anymore"? Because those can be two separate things, and one is a pretty easy fix. Just sayin'.
 
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niqht is offline niqht Post #8  August 8,2011, 1:22pm
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at 6ft, just get a clean hair cut, eat well and run, and find a sense of humor and they will come to you.
 
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Sporty_geek is offline Sporty_geek Post #9  August 8,2011, 2:07pm

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niqht wrote :
at 6ft, just get a clean hair cut, eat well and run, and find a sense of humor and they will come to you.
True. Very True. And don't start with I'm a virgin. Cross that bridge when you get to it.
 
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Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #10  August 8,2011, 2:18pm
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captainreptar wrote :
@ dropdead, i am a 21 year old virgin. sure there is a difference between a 40yr old virgin, however the face that 14yr old kids are running around having sex and im not kinda hurts.

@tango sure its the same way if a girl said the same thing. but you cant compare a guy's feature on wieght to that of a girls. a guy can be 150pounds and look like a toothpic meanwhile the girl looks like a blimp.
You are still very young. Get out there and have fun with your life and stop dwelling on this one aspect, and the rest will come.
 
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