had to to tell a match to stop contacting me

I even tried very clearly stating how close I was to nixing the match the last time it occurred, and still it continues. So I have decided to discontinue the match ... as I can't see fighting to be heard the rest of my life on what seem like pretty reasonable boundaries to me.

I have no real point here except to say, it doesn't feel any better to do the rejecting than it does to be the rejected.

Working extra hours while the boss is sick, so can't really date this week, doing 4 a.m. shifts all week, bedtime is 8 p.m. sharp. Tell the match this fact. He says words to the effect that he does without sleep all the time.

I say well not me, I need my beauty sleep. I'm not available until Friday, Saturday or Sunday, take yer pick. Next day I get an email asking if I want to go out on Monday when I already said I'm definitely not available.

I get home have a jillion things to do in a four-hour time span, but had to stop and deal with this. Again. The trouble is, he does this sort of stuff a lot. I tell him the boundary. He tries to rationalize it away. If that doesn't work, he comes back again later like I said nothing at all.

Initially I was inclined to think it was overenthusiasm, and I waited to see if things would calm down. But I see it cropping up in lots of other ways. When he wants something, it seems my boundaries/needs/concerns can be rationalized away, and/or he can just keep asking even though I already said no.

I even tried very clearly stating how close I was to nixing the match the last time it occurred, and still it continues. So I have decided to discontinue the match ... as I can't see fighting to be heard the rest of my life on what seem like pretty reasonable boundaries to me.

Even though I feel certain this is the right decision, I feel sad about it and so of course I can't sleep bc I'm too keyed up. *sigh*

I have no real point here except to say, it doesn't feel any better to do the rejecting than it does to be the rejected.

I get home have a jillion things to do in a four-hour time span, but had to stop and deal with this. Again.

If you're fighting with him in an email...that's not a good sign.
Not at all.

You know what? You didn't have to stop and deal with him. You already told him your availability. It would have been quite acceptable to ignore his request that was outside of that time frame until you wanted to answer him, which could have been a day or two from now when you felt less stressed about things.

Not every communication needs an immediate answer.

Agreed. But if he irritates you...it's best to cut him loose. He's not really such a good "match" after all, is he?

j8a

No he wasn't.

It had seemed so promising at the start.

Thanks everyone for the support. I know I did the right thing bc the pressure just all lifted from my body as soon as I made the decision.

It's just kinda hard sometimes. You as the rejector had your own hopes for things as well, plus you know you're going to disappoint the other person. It's not really easy to be the bearer of the bad tidings.

Working extra hours while the boss is sick, so can't really date this week, doing 4 a.m. shifts all week, bedtime is 8 p.m. sharp. Tell the match this fact. He says words to the effect that he does without sleep all the time.

I say well not me, I need my beauty sleep. I'm not available until Friday, Saturday or Sunday, take yer pick. Next day I get an email asking if I want to go out on Monday when I already said I'm definitely not available.

I get home have a jillion things to do in a four-hour time span, but had to stop and deal with this. Again. The trouble is, he does this sort of stuff a lot. I tell him the boundary. He tries to rationalize it away. If that doesn't work, he comes back again later like I said nothing at all.

Initially I was inclined to think it was overenthusiasm, and I waited to see if things would calm down. But I see it cropping up in lots of other ways. When he wants something, it seems my boundaries/needs/concerns can be rationalized away, and/or he can just keep asking even though I already said no.

I even tried very clearly stating how close I was to nixing the match the last time it occurred, and still it continues. So I have decided to discontinue the match ... as I can't see fighting to be heard the rest of my life on what seem like pretty reasonable boundaries to me.

Even though I feel certain this is the right decision, I feel sad about it and so of course I can't sleep bc I'm too keyed up. *sigh*

I have no real point here except to say, it doesn't feel any better to do the rejecting than it does to be the rejected.