steele_launz is offline steele_launz Post #1  July 27,2011, 3:28pm
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I'm pretty much consistently in the camp that knows anything and everything I do, no matter how I present it, will be perceived as "creepy" to all members of the female sex. I have completely and utterly given up on all accounts. I don't care if a woman stranger is rubbing her leg up and down and mine in the supermarket, I do not react to women AT ALL. I am sick and fed up with being wrongfully accused of either being "creepy" or unfit for boyfriend material. There is nothing wrong with me, there IS however something VERY wrong with the women in my area.

A year back, I was attracted to this... woman... I use the term loosely at this point in time. She was also very into me. Due to my busy work schedule, I was only able to see her from time to time. Still, I enjoyed the little time we did spend together. As it turns out, she couldn't handle seeing me so little and so she went off to date a man TWICE, yes TWICE her age. Keep in mind that the both of us are the same age.

7 months after she finally breaks up with him without even bothering to explain what I did wrong to instigate her stomping out our flame, she had no answer. Then she tells me she had a rising suspicion this OLD GUY she dated was probably GAY?! WHAT?! Through another turn of events, she proceeds to tell all her friends I'm a major "creeper" and seeing how word spreads like wildfire, it seems as though I have been carrying a brand on the face for quite some time.

I don't bother trying. It's not worth the gray hairs, the heart palpitations, high blood pressure. Knowing this problem is present also creates the health issues attributed to failure. Being dumped and left in the dirt for a gay man is simply put ... unbearable.
Last edited by steele_launz; July 27,2011 at 3:31pm.
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #2  July 27,2011, 3:43pm
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wrote :
there IS however something VERY wrong with the women in my area.
You can't change women in your area. If you choose to interpret this as a problem with them, then you're stuck. If you choose to change yourself, you may lead a better life. There's a huge self-help section at most of the few remaining stores that carry books than can help you make improvements in your life.

That said, enjoying being single ain't bad neither. That's actually what I'm doing now while my matches wait on-hold.

wrote :
As it turns out, she couldn't handle seeing me so little and so she went off to date a man TWICE, yes TWICE her age.
A fairly reasonable choice, no? You already noted she wanted a partner who would see her more often than you could provide, so she looke delsewhere. Not everyone cares so much about age differences, granted that's a bigger gap than most would choose.

wrote :
Then she tells me she had a rising suspicion this OLD GUY she dated was probably GAY?!
Don't believe everything people tell you about ex's.

wrote :
Through another turn of events, she proceeds to tell all her friends I'm a major "creeper"
Don't believe everything people tell you about ex's.

Seriously? Suddenly, seven months after your relationship, the ex who left you got the idea to badmouth you? C;mon now, you abd her must have had some recent bad interaction that triggered her to begin saying this. I'm not saying it's your fault, but I suspect you're leaving out pertinent details relevant to this story.
Last edited by shapeShifter79; July 27,2011 at 3:47pm.
 
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savman is offline savman Post #3  July 27,2011, 4:17pm
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There are all sorts of reasons she told people you were creepy. And if the reason is completely unfounded, then those who know her probably know what her opinions are worth.

What are you looking for here?
 
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stayorgo is offline stayorgo Post #4  July 27,2011, 4:27pm
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shapeShifter79 wrote :
Seriously? Suddenly, seven months after your relationship, the ex who left you got the idea to badmouth you? C;mon now, you abd her must have had some recent bad interaction that triggered her to begin saying this. I'm not saying it's your fault, but I suspect you're leaving out pertinent details relevant to this story.
Agreed. What did you do or say that precipitated her calling you creepy? Women rarely through out adjectives like this about men without explaining why.
 
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maffif is offline maffif Post #5  July 27,2011, 4:32pm
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savman wrote :
There are all sorts of reasons she told people you were creepy. And if the reason is completely unfounded, then those who know her probably know what her opinions are worth.

What are you looking for here?
I was wondering the same thing. If a guy I dated did something creepy or treated me badly, I wouldn't assume all guys were that way. I would learn what I could from the relationship, see what part I played and move on.

It isn't fair to lump all women into this category. We all are not like that. Just because the second guy I went out with after my divorce was creepy and tried things on the first date, I did not lump all guys into that category. Got back on the saddle and was more cautious the next date I went on.
 
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tangochef is offline tangochef Post #6  July 27,2011, 4:38pm
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Reading your rant, if that is your way of interacting I could understand why she'd think you are creepy.

Sweeping generalisations.
Blaming others for everything.
Self-denial.

res ipsa loquitur
 
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annother is offline annother Post #7  July 27,2011, 4:47pm
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While the previous posters make good points, I want to also add that gossip and character assassination are brutal. Anyone who has lived in a small city or town knows how fast a reputation can be made or lost.

The OP was not effective in his time management, but his girlfriend was totally wrong in maligning his character.
 
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upstategirl is offline upstategirl Post #8  July 27,2011, 4:47pm
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steele_launz wrote :
I'm pretty much consistently in the camp that knows anything and everything I do, no matter how I present it, will be perceived as "creepy" to all members of the female sex. .
No offense intended, but there has to be more to this story if you are being perceived as "creepy" to all females
 
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steele_launz is offline steele_launz Post #9  July 27,2011, 5:00pm
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upstategirl wrote :
No offense intended, but there has to be more to this story if you are being perceived as "creepy" to all females
It's definitely my own perception of the situation. Call it delusions of despair.

You're right. I did omit information. Whenever I was able to find time off, she would find an excuse to not get together. Usually I would make it known when I could be available, but that wasn't good enough. She'd flake out for no reason, then occasionally skip over calling/texting back for days at a time. She kept telling me she wanted to see me as much as possible, only to do the exact opposite.

Enough about her. There's another girl that didn't have a clue what she was doing. The first time we were supposed to "go out" I suggested going bowling. She wanted to do dinner of all things and at the last minute invited a friend along. I was only interested in seeing her and I told her this: I got HER number and not her friend's for a reason. A girl should be comfortable in her own skin to go one-on-one with a guy. We cancelled dinner and got coffee the next night (everywhere was closed by the time we finally went out).

It was just the two of us, and after an hour or so of good conversation she suggested a bar. Hours and drinks go by, soon we are in my car making out. I tell her that I have to get up early and we say good night. She keeps texting me all night, but I am too tired to respond, also a little annoyed. Finally I shut off my phone (noisy bugger) and had to use another alarm clock. She texts me again the next day asking when I can see her again, and I tell her in a few days (I'm busy).

The next day I try calling her afternoonish (she works late), and no answer. I text her a friendly "hey" and no answer. Later that night she tells me she is leaving the country for a trip in a few days and will be gone for a month. Hmm, rather strange she didn't mention it before, most people become giddy and excited when they are about to go on a trip, and usually bring it up to make conversation. I was convinced she made it up as an excuse to get rid of me, so I gave her the casual "have a nice trip".

She then accuses me of "putting up a wall", doesn't even explain how or why I was the one who was rejecting her. She began to sound all needy after the first date, but I was willing to give her a chance and let the tension warm up a little. It's in my opinion she was simply too immature to handle that I had a life outside her own. I should have just said "no way" from the start when she tried to sneak one of her friends in.

I'm tired of hearing that people need to "take a break from dating". "Breaks" from dating are not intentional if you are the one tossed aside, typically causing more damage than good. A lot of people struggle with being single, which explains why so many are desperate and plain unfit to be a viable option for a partner. The damage starts up again when some jerk with a complex cannot behave in a cordial manner, insecure to the bone and unwilling to face the possibility of commitment when the notion has not been made verbal. I've had enough of sifting through an entire pile of rotten apples for a ripe honey crisp.

I'm not an expert, but given my experience, it ain't worth it. I'm burned out on getting burned. Not even the good women are worth pursuing because my confidence in others went down the toilet long ago.
Last edited by steele_launz; July 27,2011 at 5:21pm.
 
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Ephemera is offline Ephemera Post #10  July 27,2011, 5:10pm
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I find your posts odd and erratic and very hard to understand. But they seem angry and accusatory and not at all the way a healthy dater would sound. It doesn't really sound as if you are very mature and it sounds as if you are dating very immature girls as well. If you want to change things it is fairly easy; therapy, reading, etc.... but if you do nothing to change then you will really have to look forward to being alone as that is where that road leads. And sorry to say, but your posts do have a smackeral of the creepy about them.
 
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