My soul winced: B.Y.'s confessions Part. 1


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BabyYoda is offline BabyYoda Post #1  July 20,2011, 11:00am
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Last night, I have decided to disable my profile on OKC. Here is why...

Basically, I decided to disable my profile instead of delete it is because I am still deciding whether to delete it or not. Disabling it gives me the option of going back and restating my profile at a later time.

The reason why I disabled my profile is because of a couple of matches I have communicated with recently. I have no proof, but I suspect that a couple of the individuals I have communicated with were trannys(short for transsexuals). The facial features were a little on the "manly side", but I have no concrete proof. Now, one of them deleted her(or his??) profile and I essentially poofed on the other(by disabling my profile). I am vexed beyond belief! Now, for you GLBT advocates, I am not homophobic and have no problem with anyone choosing to love who they love and living the lifestyle they choose to live. My problem is with those who may be gay or transgendered being deceitful towards those who are heterosexual. I need to know if I am talking to a dude. I don't want to talk to someone who was a dude, but decided to change plumbing and figure that I will "love them for them". Nope! No chance!

How do I know if they were transsexuals? Well, the clues that both indivduals shared is that they had the same type of "awful' red lipstick on. Both, had that "cakey powdered face". Both had that same lifeless smirk on their face and their face looked "plastic surgery-y". The latter look like Michael Jackson(the white one. lol).

I could address the precipitating facors which lead to my suspicions, but let me end it here for now.

Go ahead and laugh at me. This is a self punishing thread reminding me to stay up on my game.

B.Y.
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #2  July 20,2011, 12:36pm
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wrote :
The facial features were a little on the "manly side", but I have no concrete proof. Well, the clues that both indivduals shared is that they had the same type of "awful' red lipstick on. Both, had that "cakey powdered face". Both had that same lifeless smirk on their face and their face looked "plastic surgery-y". The latter look like Michael Jackson(the white one. lol).
I've gotten a couple matches who looked so manly I wondered the same thing. I quickly decided it didn't matter whether they were men dressing as women, women who were once men, or simply women who looked manly--since the logical reaction in any and all cases was closure.

What is your real concern? That some day you'll come across a woman who once was a man and you won't be able to tell the difference?
 
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Sassafras54 is online now Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #3  July 20,2011, 1:30pm
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I'm not going to laugh at you. And I really liked your thread title "My soul winced". You should write poetry. :-)

Did ShapeShifter get it? that you're worried you'll unknowingly get involved with a woman who used to be a man? Because otherwise wouldn't you just close these matches as "not interested"?

And I would guess you can't always tell in person, either, at least not right away ... so it's just a risk of dating isn't it?

A male-to-female transsexual considers themselves female ... so they're not being "deceitful" in listing themselves on a dating site as "female". Perhaps you could put something on your profile about "no transgender please" or something?
 
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BabyYoda is offline BabyYoda Post #4  July 20,2011, 1:44pm
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shapeShifter79 wrote :
I've gotten a couple matches who looked so manly I wondered the same thing. I quickly decided it didn't matter whether they were men dressing as women, women who were once men, or simply women who looked manly--since the logical reaction in any and all cases was closure.

What is your real concern? That some day you'll come across a woman who once was a man and you won't be able to tell the difference?
My concern is that I am slipping. I have to stay on top of my game. Plus, I am not into dudes. But, once again, I can't confirm their "dude" status, but it was definitely suspect based on how they interacted with me online.

B.Y.
 
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BabyYoda is offline BabyYoda Post #5  July 20,2011, 1:49pm
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Sassafras54 wrote :
I'm not going to laugh at you. And I really liked your thread title "My soul winced". You should write poetry. :-)

Did ShapeShifter get it? that you're worried you'll unknowingly get involved with a woman who used to be a man? Because otherwise wouldn't you just close these matches as "not interested"?

And I would guess you can't always tell in person, either, at least not right away ... so it's just a risk of dating isn't it?

A male-to-female transsexual considers themselves female ... so they're not being "deceitful" in listing themselves on a dating site as "female". Perhaps you could put something on your profile about "no transgender please" or something?
Like I told SS, my concen is that I am slipping. The good thing is that there was no phone action nor in person action. One poofed on me when challenged and I poofed on the other. In the future, I need to be on my P's and Q's and watch for those types of things.

As for how transgendered individuals view themselves, I understand what you are saying and how they feel. I just don't think they are being upfront and truthful if they conveniently leave out once being a man or woman and switching teams. I am not interested on someone who "feels" a certain gender. I am interested in women and they have to be born a woman, live as a woman and die as a woman with the women plumbing and noggin' attached to them. lol I don't want to be a victim of trannygate. It's a good thing I am not a senator. lol

B.Y.
 
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eDisharmony is offline eDisharmony Post #6  July 20,2011, 2:11pm
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Sassafras54 wrote :
A male-to-female transsexual considers themselves female ... so they're not being "deceitful" in listing themselves on a dating site as "female". Perhaps you could put something on your profile about "no transgender please" or something?
You can't be serious?

It's a dating site, not a pride march. When you contact a woman on a dating site, there's an expectation she has always been a woman. It's their responsibility to mention they're transgendered, not his responsibility to clarify.
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #7  July 20,2011, 2:55pm
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eDisharmony wrote :
It's a dating site, not a pride march.
Aye. I suspect the women who were once men want to date, sleep with, and marry you.. not march with you.

wrote :
When you contact a woman on a dating site, there's an expectation she has always been a woman.
As far as I can tell eHarmony and your matches warrant only their current marital status, age, height, etc. You may have made that assumption, but the site never encouraged you to make such an assumption, so your match is not deceiving you in any way. Besides, many women who were once men believe they were always a woman at heart and their surgery is simply a way to correct a birth defect.

wrote :
It's their responsibility to mention they're transgendered, not his responsibility to clarify.
It's not their responsibility to mention my previous weight. Why is it their responsibility to mention their previous gender?

I wonder what will happen if, 50 years in the future, it's impossible for a layman to tell the difference between one born with a female figure and one surgically given a female figure. What then?
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #8  July 20,2011, 3:01pm
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Does (s)he have an Adam's apple? That's usually the dead giveaway.
 
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LDJ is offline LDJ Post #9  July 20,2011, 3:34pm
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Sounds like its a good time for a rest Yoda.

You deserve the real thing.

The problem with on line dating is that its a crazy world out there and you log on to any possibility, from the spectacular to the outrageous.
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #10  July 21,2011, 11:05am
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Sassafras54 wrote :
A male-to-female transsexual considers themselves female ... so they're not being "deceitful" in listing themselves on a dating site as "female". Perhaps you could put something on your profile about "no transgender please" or something?
eDisharmony wrote :
It's a dating site, not a pride march. When you contact a woman on a dating site, there's an expectation she has always been a woman. It's their responsibility to mention they're transgendered, not his responsibility to clarify.
I agree with Sassafras - and with eDis.

This transgendered person does identify as female - whether they are pre- or post-op. Do they have an obligation to state on their profile that they are transgendered? Well... does a person have an obligation to state on their profile that they are divorced (don't even get me started on "separated"...)? Or that they have children? Or that they are unemployed? Not necessarily. Plenty of people offer this information willingly, but people by no means consider it a requirement.

I do think that this kind of thing is vitally important to know about in the discovery process, and must be addressed before any date is scheduled. However, that transgendered person has no idea if BY (or any other match) would be open to the idea. Some people would be - different strokes...

To state that kind of thing on one's online dating profile? Well, that could open them up to people who would only want to persecute them for their transgendered status. People who would set up dates just to harm them. Surely, that has happened before. If not to them, then perhaps to other people they know.

BY, I think you were fine to close them. On OKC, you can also block them if you are worried that they might try to contact you again. I think hiding your profile is a bit extreme. Life is full of all kinds of people. Some people we like. Others we don't like. Some people we want to get to know. Others we don't care to get to know. Live and let live.
 
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