BabyYoda is offline BabyYoda Post #1  July 11,2011, 7:32am
BabyYoda's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2010

Inland Empire, CA

Posts: 2,989

See profile

To be quite honest, there isn't much that annoys me and I try to make the best of any given situation, however whenever I hear someone giving excuses, especially concerning dating/relationships, it does annoy me. But, aside from that I don't like hearing excuses or why one can't do something. I don't even think it is right for me to make excuses, so I try not to do it and if I do, I really wish someone would call me out on it. It isn't a good look.

So, how do you feel about people who make excuses, especially if it is done constantly?

B.Y.
 
  Reply With Quote
harnomygirl is offline harnomygirl Post #2  July 11,2011, 8:05am
harnomygirl's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Mar 2011

Posts: 6,311

See profile

Can you give an example of an excuse? Do you mean not agreeing to set up a date because their cat is sick, or something similar?
 
  Reply With Quote
BabyYoda is offline BabyYoda Post #3  July 11,2011, 8:43am
BabyYoda's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2010

Inland Empire, CA

Posts: 2,989

See profile

harnomygirl wrote :
Can you give an example of an excuse? Do you mean not agreeing to set up a date because their cat is sick, or something similar?
One of them is "I was busy" excuse or "I am busy". News flash: EVERYONE IS BUSY!! lol smh

I remember a long time ago, I was corresponding with a lady who said she could not meet me or something to that effect because she was mourning the loss of a brother who died like 15 years prior. No lie. lol Fast foward months later, I seen this same woman on another dating site viewing my profile. I promply blocked her.

B.Y.
 
  Reply With Quote
tinaroonie is offline tinaroonie Post #4  July 11,2011, 9:12am
tinaroonie's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Nov 2010

Posts: 585

See profile

Do you mean talking about past relationships and making excuses for the way their ex behaved? Or excuses about how they themselves are always acting now? What kind of excuses are you talking about?
 
  Reply With Quote
BabyYoda is offline BabyYoda Post #5  July 11,2011, 9:20am
BabyYoda's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2010

Inland Empire, CA

Posts: 2,989

See profile

tinaroonie wrote :
Do you mean talking about past relationships and making excuses for the way their ex behaved? Or excuses about how they themselves are always acting now? What kind of excuses are you talking about?
Honestly, any type of excuse, but I especially find making excuses in regards to relationship/dating the most annoying.

For example, those who can't promply respond to GC questions or emails because of excuse X, Y and Z or someone who can't return phone calls within a reasonable amount of time because of A, B or C.

Granted, there are situations where someone may have a legitimate reason for not responding within a reasonable amount of time. However, I think that aside from that, there is no reason why someone can't invest a few minutes out of their lives to respond to someone, especially if the goal is to date and get into relationships with folks.

Other than that, excuses should not be in anyone's vocabulary.

B.Y.
 
  Reply With Quote
shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #6  July 11,2011, 10:10am
shapeShifter7…'s Avatar

likes dancing!

Board Leader: Health & Wellness

Joined: Apr 2011

CA

Posts: 2,499

See profile

BabyYoda wrote :
I especially find making excuses in regards to relationship/dating the most annoying.

For example, those who can't promply respond to GC questions or emails because of excuse X, Y and Z or someone who can't return phone calls within a reasonable amount of time because of A, B or C.
Technically, that's a reason, not an excuse.

Excuse - To explain (a fault or an offense) in the hope of being forgiven or understood: He arrived late and excused his tardiness in a flimsy manner

For it to be an excuse, we would have to agree that their lack of communication was a fault or offense.

wrote :
Granted, there are situations where someone may have a legitimate reason for not responding within a reasonable amount of time. However, I think that aside from that, there is no reason why someone can't invest a few minutes out of their lives to respond to someone,
There's a wonderful reason--spending a few minutes to respond is less important than other things in their life. Subscribing entitled you to matches, but not to responses. Of course, you are free to judge "how long to wait" and "whether her reasons are legitimate" for delaying responding to an almost stranger and react as you like.

wrote :
especially if the goal is to date and get into relationships with folks.
If enough people are interested in you, you can ignore a number, and still keep your calendar full, with hopes of meeting that special someone who will be a definite priority in your life.
Last edited by shapeShifter79; July 11,2011 at 10:14am.
 
  Reply With Quote
BabyYoda is offline BabyYoda Post #7  July 11,2011, 10:17am
BabyYoda's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2010

Inland Empire, CA

Posts: 2,989

See profile

shapeShifter79 wrote :
Technically, that's a reason, not an excuse.

Excuse - To explain (a fault or an offense) in the hope of being forgiven or understood: He arrived late and excused his tardiness in a flimsy manner

For it to be an excuse, we would have to agree that their lack of communication was a fault or offense.
It depends on the reason. If I find that the reason was a fault of offense, then to me, it is an excuse which is annoying.



wrote :
There's a wonderful reason--spending a few minutes to respond is less important than other things in their life.
Ok, so if that is how someone feels, then he/she have no business being on a dating site. Work whatever is "important" in one's life out first, then join a site.


wrote :
Subscribing entitled you to matches, but not to responses. Of course, you are free to judge "how long to wait" and "whether her reasons are legitimate" for delaying responding to an almost stranger and react as you like.
Oh, I am going to make a judgment upon anyone who doesn't follow through what they started. So, what is the purpose of joining a dating site if one doesn't have the time to use it? Makes no sense. Btw, we all have "better things to do", but are those "things" going get you dates? Affection? Intimacy?

B.Y.
 
  Reply With Quote
shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #8  July 11,2011, 10:37am
shapeShifter7…'s Avatar

likes dancing!

Board Leader: Health & Wellness

Joined: Apr 2011

CA

Posts: 2,499

See profile

Baby Yoda wrote :
Other than that, excuses should not be in anyone's vocabulary.

If I find that the reason was a fault of offense, then to me,
Ahh, but then excuse is in your vocabulary, not theirs.


wrote :
Work whatever is "important" in one's life out first, then join a site.
Yoda, dating will never be the top priority in my life, and if it were, I imagine I would join the ranks of those complaining that they can't find anyone to date them. Funny how that works?


wrote :
So, what is the purpose of joining a dating site if one doesn't have the time to use it?
Oh, my lack of response to some of the people some of the time does not imply I fail to respond to all of the people all of the time! eH is working wonderfully for me as a way to setup dates with women who are fairly attractive almost on-demand. As a good way to find my life partner? I'm not so sure about that yet. Time will tell!

wrote :
Btw, we all have "better things to do", but are those "things" going get you dates? Affection? Intimacy?
Actually, yes! When I go about doing the things that I enjoy I'm happy which has unquestionable value BUT--(1) I sometimes meet others who enjoy the same things and they become friends or dates and (2) being a happy, interesting person makes it easier to secure dates on and off eH. So all around, it's a good thing.
Last edited by shapeShifter79; July 11,2011 at 10:39am.
 
  Reply With Quote
BabyYoda is offline BabyYoda Post #9  July 11,2011, 10:50am
BabyYoda's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2010

Inland Empire, CA

Posts: 2,989

See profile

shapeShifter79 wrote :
Ahh, but then excuse is in your vocabulary, not theirs.
Of course, I am the one who is annoyed, no them right? lol

wrote :
Yoda, dating will never be the top priority in my life, and if it were, I imagine I would join the ranks of those complaining that they can't find anyone to date them. Funny how that works?
That's not true. If it wasn't a top prority, then people wouldn't date let along get engaged and married. I am sure all the guys and ladies I work with will beg to differ on your sentiment.

wrote :
Oh, my lack of response to some of the people some of the time does not imply I fail to respond to all of the people all of the time!
Speaking for myself, my concern isn't predicated upon someone imposing discriminatory practices upon those they deem more/less important. My concern is how someone responds or not to me. Shoot, they are lucky I am even considering them to be someone of interest romantically since we want to go there. ha!

wrote :
eH is working wonderfully for me as a way to setup dates with women who are fairly attractive almost on-demand. As a good way to find my life partner? I'm not so sure about that yet. Time will tell!
Well, put it to you this way, you will eventually come to some sort of definitive conclusion based off the fact that you are being proactive enough to communicate with women eH. That certainly can't be known if you didn't invest at least a modicum of time from your precious schedule(no snark intended).

wrote :
Actually, yes! When I go about doing the things that I enjoy I'm happy which has unquestionable value BUT--(1) I sometimes meet others who enjoy the same things and they become friends or dates and (2) being a happy, interesting person makes it easier to secure dates on and off eH. So all around, it's a good thing.
I agree with the above, but bottomline is that excuses is lame plain and simple! It doesn't take that much time to respond to someone, busy or not. Shoot, I see people at work on their phones and we all know that work(aka making money to make a living) is probably one of the most important things an adult does in his/her lifetime. But, I also know that as humans, we also desire companionship which can only be accomplished by interacting with other human beings. If it is a matter of someone not being interesting enough to justify investing you time in said person, then you know what you need to do. Otherwise, stop making excuses and handle your candle, Randle.


Oh, you can't date someone you don't respond to. How do you talk to someone you don't make time to talk to? How do you see someone you don't make time to see?
B.Y.
Last edited by BabyYoda; July 11,2011 at 10:53am.
 
  Reply With Quote
shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #10  July 11,2011, 11:07am
shapeShifter7…'s Avatar

likes dancing!

Board Leader: Health & Wellness

Joined: Apr 2011

CA

Posts: 2,499

See profile

BabyYoda wrote :
Otherwise, stop making excuses and handle your candle, Randle.
Are you telling me I should stop talking to you and finally respond to Sarah, who contacted me on July 6th? "Sorry Sarah, It's been a hectic week between my career, fitness, and talking to Baby Yoda..."
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« When to address abuse... | About You | Define a successful relationship »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Excuses for Closing winn Using eHarmony 20 September 5,2010 10:36am
Lying and Making Excuses... WHY?? jussmile Dating 12 February 8,2010 12:12pm
Do you think our requirements for a potential partner are excuses? OverAnalyzer Relationships 17 November 8,2009 5:07pm
All-Time Best Excuses - Why NOT to Kiss Me lacedwithhope AAA Completely Stupid Conversations 37 September 12,2009 11:52am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Umm....I don't think you are clearly seeing this guy for who he is. He has been with two women at all times... First...it was his wife and you...Then it was you and this other woman....And then now ... ” –  Ingytravel

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“Simple answer to the OP's question: NO. The drama isn't worth it. Tell your boyfriend you don't want to be around him when he's like this (and mean it). Go away, find other things to do, and ... ” –  Lindac7

Join the “Dating a Moody Guy. Is the Drama Worth It???” discussion

“But they are all "jocks," so none interest her. Not only would they never like or get her nerdiness since they are jocks, but as jocks, they don't read, go to museums, go to plays, eat, breath... ... ” –  emma_hazards

Join the “Super active/physically fit men not a match” discussion

“ Heh. I was thinking the same thing, I remember this thread from nearly 2 years ago! But, it is definitely fascinating to see the chip on some people's shoulders, when old threads like this get ... ” –  ScottK

Join the “Do men prefer thin women?” discussion

“Thank you everyone for replying...I think I know what's the right thing to do now. I haven't dated a lot and your advice is very helpful. On a side note, yes, he claims that this is his first time ... ” –  smilingeye

Join the “single mother asking for advice: when to introduce him to my children?” discussion

“No. Usually I am thinking In God's name, why is that kid shrieking like that?! Doesn't his mother hear him? Maybe it gets to the point where the kid's own mother can't even hear him anymore, but ... ” –  Faraday

Join the “Saw You Look” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 8:55am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0