BabyYoda is offline BabyYoda Post #31  July 12,2011, 9:24am
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Raw_Truth wrote :
I think the implication was BS excuses.
Even if the excuse was legit, if it is done in excess or if someone is constantly cancelling dates and engagements because of this or that, then that would turn me off. Said person just have too many things going on and doesn't have the time necessary to get anything going with me. There is no hard feelings, but maybe there is a conflict in lifestyle?

wrote :
Meh, used to bother me only because when in my younger years I would usually buy the BS excuses; dating, friends, work, business, whatever; and then get burned.

It's such a common thing these days, and it's comically obvious when it does happen, it doesn't bother me anymore.
I understand. We are all different. What bothers me may not bother you and vice versa. I guess when you hear enough excuses, it tends to get rather old and annoying, IMO. lol

B.Y.
 
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tangochef is offline tangochef Post #32  July 12,2011, 11:43am
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BabyYoda wrote :
...

So, how do you feel about people who make excuses, especially if it is done constantly?

B.Y.
When someone makes an excuse, I have only one answer. "I don't want to hear about problems, I want to hear about solutions".
 
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kididaho is offline kididaho Post #33  July 12,2011, 12:13pm
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I think courtesy is often contradicted by excuses. In the attempts to let someone down easy, we make something up to avoid being direct. That doesn't make it right, but an excuse is simply that; an excuse.

In my opinion, reasons are legitimate answers to a question, where there's a solution to be made. i.e. Someone doesn't call or can't meet up when they've previously agreed to, but makes an effort to reschedule, and is sincere in their approach.

Excuses, on the other hand, are merely attempts at lobbing something at you and hoping it sticks with no real intention on cleaning it up. These are given by people who either don't care at all, or are being wishy/washy and don't want to lose you entirely, but aren't motivated enough to commit to anything just yet.

I'm with you B.Y. I would actually rather hear nothing from someone than get an excuse, where it's assumed I'm gullible enough to believe that. Non-response at least tells me they are not interested, where a b.s. reply tells me they think I'm stupid.

Like I said, I do think excuses are well-intended ways of not wanting to hurt someone's feelings, but they do nothing to dilute the fact those people aren't really interested.

It's a big world, and an excuse or non-reply in a timely manner gets a shoulder shrug and a permanent boot from my foot.
Last edited by kididaho; July 12,2011 at 12:15pm.
 
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BabyYoda is offline BabyYoda Post #34  July 12,2011, 1:18pm
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kididaho wrote :
I think courtesy is often contradicted by excuses. In the attempts to let someone down easy, we make something up to avoid being direct. That doesn't make it right, but an excuse is simply that; an excuse.
I agree.

wrote :
In my opinion, reasons are legitimate answers to a question, where there's a solution to be made. i.e. Someone doesn't call or can't meet up when they've previously agreed to, but makes an effort to reschedule, and is sincere in their approach.
I agree.

wrote :
Excuses, on the other hand, are merely attempts at lobbing something at you and hoping it sticks with no real intention on cleaning it up. These are given by people who either don't care at all, or are being wishy/washy and don't want to lose you entirely, but aren't motivated enough to commit to anything just yet.
Preach on! lol

wrote :
I'm with you B.Y. I would actually rather hear nothing from someone than get an excuse, where it's assumed I'm gullible enough to believe that. Non-response at least tells me they are not interested, where a b.s. reply tells me they think I'm stupid.
I agree, but I actually would prefer someone be honest and direct with me, if possible. But, if I had a choice between no response or a bs response, then I would take the former over the latter. Basically, I agree with you.

wrote :
Like I said, I do think excuses are well-intended ways of not wanting to hurt someone's feelings, but they do nothing to dilute the fact those people aren't really interested.
I somewhat agree with you. I am not so sure if all excuses are well-intended. We could give someone the benefit of the doubt that his/her intentions were well intended and they are not trying to dog us out, however, my issue is that many people simply mistreat people they don't have an emotional bond/investment with. I don't have enough confidence that the average person actually cares about the feelings of others or at least not to my standards. But, for the sake of discussion, I will agree that there are plenty of home trained indivduals whose intentions are genuine and sincere. So, I will give those individuals props as well as my respect.

wrote :
It's a big world, and an excuse or non-reply in a timely manner gets a shoulder shrug and a permanent boot from my foot.
Yes. Thanks a lot for investing the time to write an excellent post. I appreciate everything you have said and agree with the vast majority of it's commentary. Good job!

B.Y.
 
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pltkcelestial18 is offline pltkcelestial18 Post #35  July 12,2011, 2:08pm
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SteveManchesterEngland wrote :
for me there are a)reasons and b)excuses.

often it's easier to detect which type is being used.

I accept valid reasons and reject excuses.
I agree with this. I think there's a difference between a legit reason and some BS excuse.

I personally think the reason some people give BS excuses is that they don't want to deal with the drama of "breaking it to you" that they're just not into you(generic you) and they're afraid that you'll get all upset over it.

I'd just rather a person be honest and say they're not interested in meeting or if we've met, that they're just not interested in dating. And like someone else said, if some people really are too busy or far more interested in their career to reply or meet or w/e then why are they on the dating site in the first place?
 
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harnomygirl is offline harnomygirl Post #36  July 12,2011, 2:12pm
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pltkcelestial18 wrote :
And like someone else said, if some people really are too busy or far more interested in their career to reply or meet or w/e then why are they on the dating site in the first place?
It just happens. I have no idea why the questionnaire doesn't catch it. Don't feel badly if you happen to meet one of those people. Let everything slide off your back. It really might not be you. It could be them.

It's possible that it's you though. So don't get too smug. Try to be the best person you can be and keep trying.
 
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cybertwinkie is offline cybertwinkie Post #37  July 12,2011, 8:18pm
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BabyYoda wrote :

So, how do you feel about people who make excuses, especially if it is done constantly?

B.Y.
I think I speak for most when I say honesty is the best policy. The more excuses you make, the more you're going to annoy the other person and stress yourself out. It's disrespectful to do that to someone and seriously, why would you want to do that to yourself?
 
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