My perfect dream girl?

As to whether, since you are "all that" (I take you at your word.), a man who is looking for those qualities would be interested in you...I know it is a cliche', and a stock answer, but I've also found it to be true: If he is the right guy for you, he will be (interested in you.).

Actually, human's were given free will. That means that even if we are presented with what is right for us, that doesn't mean we will take it. God could place the right mate for us right in front of us but he isn't going to force us to take that person. Just like we can and do take what is wrong for us.

So someone could be the right guy for me but that doesn't mean he is going to be interested in me.

Also, as far as me being "all that" - I looked at that list and was unimpressed. Really? really? You have a hard time finding a woman who meets the criteria on that list? The things on that list are so basic that I don't even find them important to a relationship. To me that are just a give of any female human being. In fact, on top of all those remedial items, I feel I possess a lot more qualities that are much more important.

Like the ability to be faithful and loyal to my husband and children. I would never cheat or even be tempted to do so. Like the ability to love deeply and truly. Sadly, not everyone is capable of loving anyone but themselves. The ability to be honest with myself, my husband, and my family.

If you thnk the things I elucidated are "not useful in a relationship" or that they are all that common among the female of the species, then you are simply mistaken.

You know, Xable, if you really want to be fatalistic, noone can stop you. I was just trying to be helpful, and somewhat encouraging.

On the contrary, here is an very interesting debate. Boy and girl meet. God made boy and girl for each other, they are perfect for each other, and just what each other wants and needs. Boy decides he doesn't want girl. Was it their fate to be together and boy decided you use his free will to override fate OR was their fate, all along, not to be together? Do we really have free will or is our fate really what, in the end, happens to us? Or, maybe God never really did make them for each other in the first place?

I have, since a long time ago, determined that the ONLY thing in life I can control are my own actions and reactions. Anything in life that involves a force outside of myself is beyond my control. And, again, the only control I have is how I react to those forces.

I am a religious and spiritual person but perhaps in a more unconventional way. I do not believe, perhaps I did when I was younger but not anymore, that God micromanages anyone's life. Although the idea of "footsteps" is lovely, I don't take it literally. I take a much more 'God helps those who help themselves' approach rather than the give yourself over to him and he will fix everything for you and make you happy one. Tried both and the only one which even came close to working was when I went out and did stuff for myself.

I don't buy into the "If it is meant to be it will be". If you want it to be you got to work to make it be. Nothing is going to fall right into your lap.

As far as "the list", I feel you are wrong when you say that they are "just a given for a female human being." Sorry, that's just not the case. Maybe they should be, but they're not. And of course, the other things you mentioned are important too. (For what it's worth, are you accusing me of being unfaithful or dishonest? Because it sure sounded like that's what you were implying. )

I was not. Sorry if you got that impression.

I believe there are more females out there who meet that criteria (it is not relevant whose criteria it is) than people believe. I just think people are not really looking the right way. I hate to say it, but humans judge and see first with their eyes and not with their mind or heart.

I do question men when they say they are looking for X,Y, & Z and then I point out 5 different women right in front of him who are all that and more. Yet, he still says "I can't find her." Then, I question, are you really looking for X,Y,Z? or are you really looking for something else. Because, it seems to me that men are really looking for the hot lady and then looking for X,Y, Z.


Besides which, I think you are taking offense where none was intended.

Fair enough. I am very honest and I do always take offense when someone calls my honesty into question (intentional or not). It also make me sad that we live in a world where everyone's first reaction is to disbelieve what someone says rather then to trust that they are telling the truth until proven untrustworthy.

I never said this was MY list (although it's not a bad start).
I was responding to the several pages of unwarranted mockery of anyone who thought it might contain anything useful. It does. My list was not even an exhaustive one, given what is in Proverbs 31. I was merely picking out things from the passage that should be easily attainable, that actually do give someone an idea of what should be characteristics of a good woman.

It is still my opinion, that some very key traits were left out of that list. But, considering the source, perhaps being faithful in your marriage was a given back then and so you didn't need to tell guys, " Well, duh, a good wife is one who isn't going to cheat on you."

If you thnk the things I elucidated are "not useful in a relationship" or that they are all that common among the female of the species, then you are simply mistaken.

I didn't say they were not useful - Rather I think they should be common among any females any man would consider marrying. If they are really uncommon among females, as you say, then we are in a sad state indeed. And, furthermore, then guys must be just as bad for NOT snatching up any female they find who does, in fact, possess those qualities. But, since I've never been married - perhaps being hot really is the key?

And I'm fairly sure I've done a more extensive study, over a longer period of time, of the female population, than you have. It's a subject I've been interested in, and devoted considerable time to, for a great number of years.

Study as much as you want but you will never be as knowledgeable as someone who is, in fact, a female.

So, lighten up, would you?

Actually, human's were given free will. That means that even if we are presented with what is right for us, that doesn't mean we will take it. God could place the right mate for us right in front of us but he isn't going to force us to take that person. Just like we can and do take what is wrong for us.

So someone could be the right guy for me but that doesn't mean he is going to be interested in me.