Overweight or Obese - A Character Issue?


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tangochef is offline tangochef Post #121  June 23,2011, 11:32am
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mitchell175 wrote :
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I disagree that being overweight is a reflection of poor character. I assume you have never struggled with being overweight. If I am wrong, please correct me. If I am right, then forgive me when I say "You couldn't possibly understand".

I was an athlete most of my life until early twenties that competed in Judo at 81 kilos (178.2) pounds. So, the struggle was to make sure I was at that weight exactly at the time of weigh in. Probably not the same struggle, but try sweating off 3-5 pounds in a 24 hour period.

... For me, food has always meant way more than just "nourishment". For a lot of people with food issues, food is love, food is comfort, food is contentment. To say that it is easy to overcome those issues with "self-discipline" is over-simplistic, at best. What you are expecting people with this kind of emotional connection to food to do is deny themselves the love, comfort and contentment that they have sought in their lives. No amount of "self-discipline" is going to make up for that loss. As they say, "It's not what you're eating, it's what's eating you".

Seeing that we are sharing (and I appreciate it). I'll be frank as well. I love food. I love creating it, I love sharing it with someone, and I love eating it. When I fix that perfect meal, and smell it my heart literally skips, and I feel giddy. I stop eating it when I feel it should be enough, even though I could get seconds, thirds and more. The next morning after that perfect meal I am at the scale worrying that I over did it. It is also a struggle not to cook all the great meals I can, and instead restrict myself to healthy meals that still taste good, but not even close in contentment.

If I let my self-discipline waver, and let go, I would not be overweight, I would be obese, as just working out would not help. It is a daily re-commitment.

...But, I do know what my reasons are. It's not because of a "lack of self-discipline". That implies "I could be thin if I wanted to, I just choose not to". In my adult life, I have been fat and I have been thin(ner). And, in the times when I was thin(ner), it's not because suddenly I had "self-discipline". It's because I had gotten a handle on my issues, and was able to lose the weight. Just "wanting" it is not enough. You have to be willing to "face your demons", too. That's the hard part. "Self-discipline" is the easy part.

I think my definition of "self-discipline" and yours are different. My definition would include getting a handle on your issues, and facing your demons.

...But, please consider this anyway. What else (besides weight) that demonstrates a "lack of self-discipline" is a dealbreaker for you? Does anything else besides weight demonstrate a "lack of self-discipline" for you?

Yes, there are others. Smoking, gambling, excessive use of alcohol, drug use, credit card abuse, etc., are all indicators of lack of self-discipline, and are deal breakers for me. And I would not be adverse to someone holding me to the same level of scrutiny, it is only fair.

I realise in this PC world a lot of what I described are considered illnesses that eliminate personal responsibility. That's fine for them.

...
Please, also understand that I did put a qualifier in my comment tying self-discipline and being overweight/obesity together. I did that because one can not paint the world with a broad brush. I realize that there can be medical reasons.

Also, this particular manifestation of lack of self-discipline (using my definition) might not be important at all to others. I made that statement in the OP.
 
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Xable is offline Xable Post #122  June 23,2011, 12:00pm
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To me, true self discipline manifests itself in all or most aspects of your life, not just one or two. Sure, someone could have self discipline when it comes to eating and working out - but if you lack it in all other areas or most areas such as your career, finances, family life, and promises - then I would not say you have self discipline.
 
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harnomygirl is offline harnomygirl Post #123  June 23,2011, 12:39pm
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Xable wrote :
To me, true self discipline manifests itself in all or most aspects of your life, not just one or two. Sure, someone could have self discipline when it comes to eating and working out - but if you lack it in all other areas or most areas such as your career, finances, family life, and promises - then I would not say you have self discipline.
I think you're more likely to have it when it comes to eating and working out because you can control that completely. I don't really see how it matters to anyone else. It's all about you. It's not so easy to control your career and family.

In fact, now that I think about it, I have no idea what self-discipline has to do with family at all. I'm a little confused. Please explain.
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #124  June 23,2011, 12:39pm
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tangochef wrote :
Please, also understand that I did put a qualifier in my comment tying self-discipline and being overweight/obesity together. I did that because one can not paint the world with a broad brush. I realize that there can be medical reasons.

Also, this particular manifestation of lack of self-discipline (using my definition) might not be important at all to others. I made that statement in the OP.
This is like that argument by the staunch pro-lifers who proclaim "Abortion is wrong in every case! A life is a life!" Well... what about in the case of rape or incest? "Oh, well, in that case, of course, abortion should be allowed, but otherwise, a life is a life!"
OK... what about in the case where the mother's life is in peril? "Oh, well, in that case, of course, abortion should be allowed, but otherwise, a life is a life!"

It's funny how people can be so adamant about how certain things are completely unacceptable, except when this happens... or that happens...

How does this relate to the topic? The OP has an issue with a fat person's "character", except in the cases where there is a medical reason... Then it's "not their fault" and does not reflect on their character... even though he could not know in just making a summary judgment against any random fat person what their particular circumstances are.

I do not think it is possible to use a person's physical appearance to judge their character.
Last edited by mitchell175; June 24,2011 at 9:29am. Reason: for the record, I am strongly pro-CHOICE
 
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Xable is offline Xable Post #125  June 23,2011, 1:08pm
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harnomygirl wrote :
I think you're more likely to have it when it comes to eating and working out because you can control that completely. I don't really see how it matters to anyone else. It's all about you. It's not so easy to control your career and family.

In fact, now that I think about it, I have no idea what self-discipline has to do with family at all. I'm a little confused. Please explain.
Examples:

Career - Oh, I was out late last night so I'm just going to call in sick to work. I had a friend that did this all the time. She finally called in sick to work one too many times and she lost her job as a result.

Career - Sticking with the grunt work at the beginning of your career and working your way up or quitting that job because you hate it at the moment and don't want to put in the time to work your way up. Maybe starting at the bottom of the totem pole in a law firm.

Family - Not giving in and purchasing that new big screen tv you want but instead putting that money in a savings account for your child's college fund.

Family - Really needing to fix something in the house but then your friend calls you up and asks you to do something else with them. But, you promised you work fix whatever needed fixing. So, do you fix it or go out with your friend?

I see self-discipline as doing what you know needs to be done even when you don't really want to do it.
 
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harnomygirl is offline harnomygirl Post #126  June 23,2011, 1:20pm
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Xable wrote :
I see self-discipline as doing what you know needs to be done even when you don't really want to do it.
I see. You are right about commitment to family.

Interestingly, you can't just look at the results and judge someone's self-discipline. Something outside of their control could have destroyed their family no matter how hard they worked at it.
Last edited by harnomygirl; June 23,2011 at 1:25pm.
 
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tangochef is offline tangochef Post #127  June 23,2011, 1:37pm
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mitchell175 wrote :
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How does this relate to the topic? The OP has an issue with a fat person's "character", except in the cases where there is a medical reason... Then it's "not their fault" and does not reflect on their character... even though he could not know in just making a summary judgment against any random fat person what their particular circumstances are.

I do not think it is possible to use a person's physical appearance to judge their character.
I'd submit that in great majority of cases of being overweight/obese is NOT due to a medical reason. It is a personal choice, whether that shows a negative character trait or not is up to the person that is interacting with them.

And people do get judged by their physical appearances quite a bit. Here from USA today:
"Obese workers overall suffered a wage penalty in the range of 1.4% to 4.5%. The penalty for obese women ranged from 2.3% to 6.2% vs. a range of 0.7% to 2.6% for men. ...
The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission says it rarely pursues a case against a company for discrimination based on obesity."
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #128  June 23,2011, 1:42pm
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tangochef wrote :
I'd submit that in great majority of cases of being overweight/obese is NOT due to a medical reason. It is a personal choice, whether that shows a negative character trait or not is up to the person that is interacting with them.

And people do get judged by their physical appearances quite a bit.
You misunderstand. I am not one of those people who assumes that most overweight people are overweight due to a medical condition.

Just because "people do get judged by their physical appearances quite a bit" doesn't make it right. I believe in the "Golden Rule" - Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If you enjoy having people who do not even know you make summary judgments against you, then by all means, judge away. But, if you have ever felt annoyed/frustrated/pissed off that people were judging you based on things about which they know nothing about you - you might consider that, too.
 
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bahama_mamma1976 is offline bahama_mamma1976 Post #129  July 2,2011, 6:59am
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AndieIsMe wrote :
Geesh, do you guys know what a real "walk" is? It's not a stroll though the park. It's a 15 minute mile at most. Jogging is just a half step above. And, I don't jog. I have two very good reasons not to and you have one guess on what those are!

Just to clear up any confusion, I lost more than 30 pounds in less than 3 months about 10 years ago by mainly using an elliptical runner and treadmill. Never breaking into a jog/run. Or taking a tedious aerobics class. Those are just murder!
Exactly. I disagree that walking does not aid in weight loss. I also lost a great deal of weight through diet AND walking for at least an hour every evening. I also never broke into a job or a run.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #130  March 9,2012, 2:28am
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In the beginning, weight loss was easy. I got rid of 40 some odd pounds and wasn't even trying to lose. The last year or so I seem to be kind of stuck. Can't lose the last 20. I don't eat more than 1600 calories, I work out 5 days a week including lifting weights and aerobic. If it were a simple matter of calories in calories out, I should have lost that 20 pounds already.

I think one factor is, the body can adjust the metabolism up and down to make energy output equal whatever is the energy input — but a person can't healthfully decrease calories below a certain level. You won't be getting all the nutrition needed.

And if you do decrease calories too much, the body just cuts muscle down so that it's further conserving energy and you won't lose much fat. Sure you lost "weight" but not so good.

***

You may judge me as lacking in self discipline because I can't seem to lose that last 20 pounds, but I think you would probably be reaching the wrong conclusion.
Last edited by nightling; March 9,2012 at 2:35am.
 
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