I'm considering a long-distance relationship


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tinaroonie is offline tinaroonie Post #11  June 17,2011, 4:39pm
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Let us know how it goes. I hope you can work this out. I myself know I could not handle a long distance relationship, if it started out long distance. Just meeting up every few weeks, would not work for me. Sounds like you two have a good connection though. But the distance thing might be too much. Good luck.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #12  June 17,2011, 4:45pm
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scully98 wrote :
And if he is interested, why he's not being more affectionate, communicative. This might be his style, I don't know. If it is, it doesn't work for me, esp in a long-distance situation. I need to feel a connection to a partner and if someone is long-distance, I need communication, even five minutes or a couple of texts, daily if possible or close to it.

I'd expect this to be the downfall.
 
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scully98 is online now scully98 Post #13  June 18,2011, 5:08am
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yup, d_lion, if our communication styles are that different, it won't work. one of the big things that worked for me in my last relationship is that he contacted me every single day for the entire 6-1/2 months we dated, except for a few of the days he was climbing a mountain in africa and had no contact with the world. and even then he emailed me as soon as he was in a village on the descent from the top of kilimanjaro.

so, yeah, I need/expect/want communication.

and this guy didn't even call me last night, as he said he was going to try to do. not good. not good at all.

I'm sure I'll hear from him this weekend - that's more his style - but I really don't know what to say to him at this point. I will just tell him how I feel about communication and if he isn't up to it, that's that. one weekend will be all we ever had.

but at least it was a fantastic weekend! :-)

and I hope I don't sound glib, because I don't intend to. but there's another awesome guy I've been out with three times now who lives 20 minutes away from me, and I really like him. just not sure if he's ready for a relationship with his divorce only two months ago. and then I've been on first dates/meets with four other guys from match. all nice guys, just no "click" yet - so I know there are plenty of fish in the sea. I'm not going to keep one that is more work than it's worth.
 
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tjlpd is offline tjlpd Post #14  June 18,2011, 6:19am
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Scully I am glad you are seeing other people. I think some guys step up the communication once they really feel there is something there. My guy was not into communicating much in the beginning and now we text or talk every day.

I can understand how it can be hard to be patient with it being LDR. I do not think I could do it.
 
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scully98 is online now scully98 Post #15  June 19,2011, 1:37pm
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just a quick update - I heard from him today, we talked for a while. he said he'd had a crazy, busy work week. he'd been trying to figure out future weekends we can see each other, so he's trying to coordinate his hectic schedule with his desire to see me.

I didn't say anything about needing more communication because I realized that, at this point, I don't. I know what I need to know. that he likes me, and wants to see me, and has an insane work schedule that makes spending much time together unlikely. I don't see it turning into a long-term, long-distance relationship. But if he can make it out to see me down the road, he'd be welcome and I know we'd have a lot of fun together again.

So if it works out, great, and if not, there's nothing to be done about it. I feel perfectly happy with where things are at. I feel like, at the very least, I made a good friend and perhaps things will work out down the road where we can see more of each other.

He said he really enjoyed our weekend together and had been thinking of me all week. So the occasional texts and one phone call this week is simply his communication style.

I will keep dating others and see where things lead. If back to him, that would be nice, but again, if not, then I can be okay with that, too. Cause it's nice to know that someone out there cares about me at least a little and is thinking of me fondly.
 
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