the Height/Weight debate and dating insecurities


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scarlettblonde is offline scarlettblonde Post #21  June 12,2011, 4:00pm
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Ingytravel wrote :
That is a good question Red...I think I would still tell them as I think anyone in their 20's should not be spending so much time on the computer and they should be out enjoying real life...And if they were overweight...then sitting at home trying to find dates on the computer isn't going to help them either..Being active will..

As I mentioned before...no way would I be doing online dating at that age...I was never home in the evenings or weekends...and most of my youth group 'kids'...who are all in their 20's now...just pop on FB from their phone or post pics from some great place where they are out having fun!!

Especially summer time!..Wine festivals, fairs, traveling to the beach or mountains, clubs, etc...

And I wasn't 'focused' on finding someone to date at that age either..if it happened great...if not..there was always plenty of girlfriends to hang out with..

20's are for exploring, finding yourself, first real job...first place on your own..so many opportunities..

And as we know...online some people can get this warped sense of 'rejection' when these are complete strangers. and if you read the boards at times...it sounds like people want perfection...which isn't what all the couples in the real world have or are....so if someone becomes bitter and angry in their 20's ...yikes!!!

Yes, I was like that until about 25-26...even a little at 27. Now everyone has moved on to "real lives" and left me with a lot of spare time on my hands!
 
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Ingytravel is online now Ingytravel Post #22  June 12,2011, 4:04pm
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No...we didn't think you were here for a pity party at all!...

I saw you graduated college in 2009 so thought you were early 20's..I didn't read the Master's part...Great for you

Obviously you look fantastic and have lost all the weight...so maybe talking to a counselor to work on those self esteem issues might help for a month or two...

There will always be idiots in the world that are cruel to others...no matter what they will find 'something' to pick on...you can't let your past rule your future...that would mean that 'they' win..

I would suggest not dropping all your good friends...but finding some activities, organizations or volunteer work where you can meet new friends as well...

You don't have to meet men in 'bars'...go and join a hiking club, take kayaking lessons, go take a wine tasting course...there are hundreds of interesting things to do out in the real world..

Don't lock yourself in the house...as I said...maybe a bit of counseling to help you get back on your feet again...but sitting at home isn't helping anything...

And don't compare your life to your friends...rejoice in their happiness with a marriage or a baby...and start working on making your life...even without someone in it...as full and as wonderful as possible..

The whole point is to be complete yourself...and then find someone to share your life with...

I wish you luck!
 
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