Are you an extreme sportist?


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my5cents is offline my5cents Post #1  June 9,2011, 12:18pm
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I consider myself to be in shape and athletic, however every once in awhile I get matched with an extreme sportist/adrenaline junkie. If you are an extreme sportist you can weigh in on my questions to help me sort through my thoughts on this. I once talked to a match who told me that he considered himself an adrenaline junkie, liked to play hard, and well almost died. It didn't sound like he was going to stop although he said it took him longer to heal now that he was getting a little older. I admire extreme sportists (I love watching them compete as well), but I don't know how it would be dating one. I think I'd be anxious all the time because they might not come home.

1. Would you want your life partner to participate in these extreme sports with you, or would you be content having her watch you/support you?
2. If you had a family would you see yourself cutting back on your extreme sports to insure you'd be around for your children and wife?
3. Would you resent it horribly if your girlfriend/future wife wanted you to cut back or stop because she'd be afraid of you dying or seriously injuring yourself?
 
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Ingytravel is online now Ingytravel Post #2  June 9,2011, 2:27pm
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Well..I consider myself a true adrenaline junkie...and have been this way since early 20's..

I enjoy sky diving, rock climbing, and love riding motorcycles, helicopter rides, canyoneering, SCUBA diving, and was a volunteer Firefighter/EMT for 10 years..I have had to have 3 cervical fusions over the years..(not caused by any type of accident)..and have only given up riding rollercoasters...very sad!!!

But the others...I will take the extra pain for the enjoyment of the activity and do these things on a pretty regular basis..

I, personally, am a Christian so don't 'worry' about anything...getting in a car accident...to having cancer...those are 'risks' in life as well.

Obviously I love to enjoy these activities with a partner and look for this on EH as well as irl...

Everyone has their threshold of what is a dealbreaker or not...I don't date someone who smokes....more because it doesn't fit in my lifestyle one bit...

I have never had a man get upset about these issues or ask me to stop..

I take all precautions when doing these activities and nothing is haphazard...Same with the men I know who also have children like my brother...they are always as safe as humanly possible.

It's like men/women in the military...thousands of them have children...wives/husbands...and are in 'harms' way at times...

I wouldn't be 'me' if I had to stop all of these things and yes...would resent someone trying to change me.

So people who don't like these things have to make that decision on if you are ok dating someone who does this...find a compromise if your partner wants to, or if it's best to date a non adrenaline type person...
 
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stagingbulb is offline stagingbulb Post #3  June 9,2011, 2:51pm
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my5cents wrote :
1. Would you want your life partner to participate in these extreme sports with you, or would you be content having her watch you/support you?
2. If you had a family would you see yourself cutting back on your extreme sports to insure you'd be around for your children and wife?
3. Would you resent it horribly if your girlfriend/future wife wanted you to cut back or stop because she'd be afraid of you dying or seriously injuring yourself?
I consider myself an adrenaline junky but not as I would classify as extreme. I ski difficult/expert terrain, but not much in the back country, I climb mountains but I rarely rock climb, I race cars, etc. I do push the envelope but I know my limitations and the limitations of my gear. But... on to your questions:

1. I would be content with supporting me. The thing is, I can ski easier terrain with her, in her comfort zone. She doesn't have to jump cornices with me. I can hike, but not mountain climb. I would like to share in what I do but she doesn't have to be hard core. Things can be toned down.

2. I cut back pushing myself to the limit as much as I used to when I had kids. It goes back to limitations. I didn't have the time to keep up my skills, so they ring rusted a little bit. Ring rust + less time = natural attrition resulting in a cut back.

3. I grew away from a girlfriend because of it. I was doing these things beforehand, I plan on continuing to do them. She wanted me to take up softball instead and my reply is softball just doesn't have the same hit. Last thing I want to have running through my mind is killing myself when I put my helmet on at the track or strap my skis on. Those kind of thoughts have a tendency to become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Overall, I would resent a woman who put pressure on me to quit doing these things. Like Ingy said, they make "me". I've had broken bones, separated shoulders, concussions, all sorts of damage because of my lifestyle, but it is what it is.
 
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my5cents is offline my5cents Post #4  June 9,2011, 3:10pm
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Great posts Ingytravel & Stagingbulb, thank you for giving me your perspective. I think "extreme" is relative to each person, so I think with each match I have to have that discussion with him of what he's participating in, if he's taken the necessary safety precautions vs reckless abandon, and if I can also safely participate with him.

Stagingbulb, thanks for giving me your male perspective that a woman could participate with you, and you wouldn't expect her to perform athletically at the same level as you.

I understand where you both are coming from because if a man told me I had to stop the sports that I participate in I'd about die. Okay, well maybe not die, but yes I'd be resentful and I'd miss them terribly.
 
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Ingytravel is online now Ingytravel Post #5  June 9,2011, 3:13pm
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It will be interesting to see all the answers...as I have found that people who truly enjoy these activities...it's in their blood...it's who they are...

Like Stagingbulb, I come from a family of race car drivers...my Grandfather, Father, Mom, and Brother as well as myself have all done this from Autocross (pretty tame..lol)...to SCCA racing...so it's a family trait of adrenaline!..
 
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Shelby is offline Shelby Post #6  June 9,2011, 7:53pm
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I'm wondering if it makes a difference for you exreme sportest if kids were in the picture. I know some one who said when he and his wife settled down and had kids, he didn't have time for the extreme sports (motocycling, skiing) and he got concerned about risks that could affect his family's future (e.g. if he got injured or killed.)

(Although he still drove too fast, in my opinion!)
 
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schm1539 is offline schm1539 Post #7  June 9,2011, 10:07pm
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1. I wouldn't require a partner to participate in any extreme sport they didn't want to. Likewise, I would hope they also don't require me to participate in an activity which I didn't want to. If they want to give it a whirl so to speak, that's a bonus.

2. If I started a family obviously the extreme sports would become less extreme and less important. Prioritize what you would rather do extreme sports and wouldn't stop for a family, just be single or don't have a family.

3. I would resent someone that would try and make me stop doing something that I loved. I know it's shallow, but it is what it is. The activities I do is what makes me the person I am. What's the reason you start dating someone? Is it because you like who they are? Call me old fashioned, but I don't date someone if I don't liek who they are. If you like who they are, why would you start a relationship with someone that you thought engaged in dangerous and unsafe behavior? That's an oxymoron, you like them, but you do't like what makes them who they are... It just doesn't make sense to me at all.

Don't date a sky-diver if you think it's too damgerous and want them to stop. Find someone that isn't a sky-diver, or any other extreme sport junkie that you don't like.
 
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stagingbulb is offline stagingbulb Post #8  June 10,2011, 5:28am
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Shelby wrote :
I'm wondering if it makes a difference for you exreme sportest if kids were in the picture. I know some one who said when he and his wife settled down and had kids, he didn't have time for the extreme sports (motocycling, skiing) and he got concerned about risks that could affect his family's future (e.g. if he got injured or killed.)

(Although he still drove too fast, in my opinion!)
See my post above... I slowed some but not a ton. For me, it was about time and not really concern about killing myself.
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #9  June 10,2011, 10:59am
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5cents - My first thought when I read your post was "I would not want to date this kind of adrenaline junkie."

Then, after I read the replies, my answer is "I would not want to date this kind of adrenaline junkie."

No offense to you adrenaline junkies, but this is just not my style. I am not even into any kind of sports, let alone "extreme" sports. I was talking on the phone with a match recently and even though I had already told him that I was not a sports fan, and don't watch sports on TV, and really don't have a favorite team, he still asked me "But, you go to the games sometimes?" Uh... actually, no. Why would I? Watching a baseball/football/hockey game holds absolutely no interest to me. Right now, the Bruins are in the Stanely Cup finals. Big excitement ensues everywhere. I couldn't care less. Just not my thing.
 
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stagingbulb is offline stagingbulb Post #10  June 10,2011, 11:16am
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mitchell175 wrote :
5cents - My first thought when I read your post was "I would not want to date this kind of adrenaline junkie."

Then, after I read the replies, my answer is "I would not want to date this kind of adrenaline junkie."

No offense to you adrenaline junkies, but this is just not my style. I am not even into any kind of sports, let alone "extreme" sports. I was talking on the phone with a match recently and even though I had already told him that I was not a sports fan, and don't watch sports on TV, and really don't have a favorite team, he still asked me "But, you go to the games sometimes?" Uh... actually, no. Why would I? Watching a baseball/football/hockey game holds absolutely no interest to me. Right now, the Bruins are in the Stanely Cup finals. Big excitement ensues everywhere. I couldn't care less. Just not my thing.
None taken at all. We all have likes and dislikes. However, you should go to a game to people watch. The game is sidebar entertainment compared to the people that go to them. It's even better if you go a NASCAR race.
 
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