Are you an extreme sportist?


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Ingytravel is online now Ingytravel Post #11  June 10,2011, 11:18am
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Shelby wrote :
I'm wondering if it makes a difference for you exreme sportest if kids were in the picture. I know some one who said when he and his wife settled down and had kids, he didn't have time for the extreme sports (motocycling, skiing) and he got concerned about risks that could affect his family's future (e.g. if he got injured or killed.)

(Although he still drove too fast, in my opinion!)
I haven't seen this make a difference with those who have children...Again...we are NOT talking about anything reckless...we are talking about activities where people have months to years of training and taking ALL precautions necessary to prevent accidents...

We aren't talking about some young teenagers doing silly tricks on bikes while drunk...

As I said...in most of these...it's more dangerous getting into your vehicle on a daily basis...or 1 in 10 people will get cancer in their lifetime...those are 'risky' odds...

I mentioned before...how about all the men and women overseas in the wars in harms way....thousands upon thousands of them have children..

But they...as do most of us...go through training, any necessary tests, and practice our sports/activities on a regular basis...

You can't just go and drive a motorcycle...you have to go and actually go through courses, just like a car, and get a motorcycle license...I am VERY choosy with whom I ride with and only if they have done this for over 10 years or more...

I went and got my motorcycle license when I was in my early 20's....got an 883 Sportster...but after riding around in my area which is just outside of DC for about 6 months as well as not getting the opportunity to drive a lot as I was in the Fire dept. at that time.....I was not comfortable and did not feel that particular risk was worth taking for me to actual drive...I will never give up riding with someone though!

I am glad to be friends with the man I just dated...We had so many great times on his BMW motorcyle as he is a skilled driver.

This is why I wouldn't choose to date someone who was 'fearful' of the things I do...I just don't live my life this way...


Two of my dearest friends in their late 40's...husband and wife...over the last 5 years have both been diagnosed with different cancers and have gone through Chemotherapy and Radiation...and are now doing well...you can't predict the future or live in fear...
Last edited by Ingytravel; June 10,2011 at 11:28am.
 
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stagingbulb is offline stagingbulb Post #12  June 10,2011, 11:27am
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my5cents wrote :
Stagingbulb, thanks for giving me your male perspective that a woman could participate with you, and you wouldn't expect her to perform athletically at the same level as you.
Around here, runners are as common as belly buttons. I don't run for the sake of running, just not my deal. However, I have and again would certainly date a runner and be there for her at the finish line to toss her a towel and a water bottle, hang out with her as she wanders around the fair that seems to exist at the end of races. It's not my bag but if it's important to her, I'll be there for her and don't let me spoil her fun. One girl I dated was a trail runner and I mountain bike. She'd run, I'd ride, we both had fun, we shared something, and it was fun.

There are ways to manage the situations if you want to and try hard enough.
 
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1quickslovak is offline 1quickslovak Post #13  June 10,2011, 12:10pm
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Extreme is relative. I compete in triathlons, go backpacking in the winter, race cars, etc. A friend and I went to Warrior Dash Ohio last weekend and we got called insane from a couple golfers we know. I didn't think a 5k run + some obstacles + the best mud I've ever seen is considered extreme, but it is to someone that considers walking their dog or carrying their golf clubs exercise.

If a woman feels left out then she definitely wasn't the right one for me. I can tone stuff down, for instance a shorter sprint tri rather than an olympic, but she might as well take my balls if I quit for her sake. Unfortunately there aren't alot of "extreme" women in my area...

Ingytravel wrote :
It will be interesting to see all the answers...as I have found that people who truly enjoy these activities...it's in their blood...it's who they are...

Like Stagingbulb, I come from a family of race car drivers...my Grandfather, Father, Mom, and Brother as well as myself have all done this from Autocross (pretty tame..lol)...to SCCA racing...so it's a family trait of adrenaline!..
How is it that you're still single?
I dated a girl back in high school partly because she drove a Miata and went autocrossing with her father. It was fun bragging that my girlfriend could out drive the guys.
 
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DancingFool is online now DancingFool Post #14  June 10,2011, 12:36pm
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1) You can't live in constant fear. The likelihood of me dying from a car wreck is much greater than doing so from sports. So children or spouse would not change my hobbies.

2) Any SO who gets in the way of that will get booted from my life quickly. As another poster pointed out, the last thing I need is their fear and guilt tripping getting into my subconscious as that can easily become the actual cause of a bad accident. Planting their fears is the single most dangerous thing that an SO can do to me as they will pretty much ensure that an accident happens. The thing about extreme sports is that to be successful you have to be 100% committed to what you are doing without fear, without reservations and believe to the very bottom of your soul that you can do it. Anything short of that is begging for trouble and will actually cause you to miscalculate and make bad decisions.

3) What you are passionate about is not really something you randomly choose and it is very much what makes you be you. To quit it is essentially to become just an empty shell of who you were and that's not a way to live. So if a relationship demands from me to become an empty shell that just fulfills the other person's wishes and caters to their fears, it's not a healthy relationship for me and not something I'd want to be in.

4) I generally do not want the SO involved in my sport and actually actively prefer that they don't go to the competitions because I don't like distractions and would prefer to immerse myself into the competitions completely. It's a different world and it's nice to have.

5) In every single serious relationship, the SO's were not only understanding of my passion, but found that the separation of the personal life and training time was really nice. It gave them space to do what they wish to do with their time. In fact several times I was told that initially they were wary of the time I spend on training and concerned that things might not work out because of it, but in reality found out that I can balance things and the personal time that it afforded them was fantastic. It made the relationship better instead of worse.
 
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curiousgirl123 is offline curiousgirl123 Post #15  June 10,2011, 2:16pm
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This is a very interesting topic and reading the OP and the responses two things cross my mind:

One, I would totally suck at being a SO of an extreme sportist as I'm always thinking safety comes first and would probably drive you nuts .
Two, I can totally relate to how you feel in wanting to have the freedom to something you very much enjoy and the adrenaline feeling that comes with it. I feel the same rush on intellectual level with business related risks that I enjoy taking. I would feel very unhappy if I was told I couldn't do that and could not co-exist with someone who lacks the flexibility to let me do my own thing.

I think it's great that you are open about it and a potential partner would know how you feel. That makes it so much easier to attract the right type of partners.
 
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LDJ is offline LDJ Post #16  June 10,2011, 6:10pm
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The guy I have been dating is an extreme sportsmen at a professional level. I brought this very topic up on our 3rd date, saying I was a very "indoor" sort of girl.

He explained to me that he does not want to compete in a romantic relationship, he has never had an ltr with any woman he has met through the industry, he does not find them attractive. He is looking at what's in my heart not my sportsmanship qualities. He does not want to be constantly in a mentor sort of role in a romantic relationship.

I do weightlifting and running, he only does those when required by a current assignment. We agreed on cycling together, canoeing and some kayaking. I am thrilled to have found a person who knows the difference between a simple and complex carbohydrate, at least our diets are similar. The top end of what he finds challenging scares me to death, so he can go do that, while I have lunch with my gfs.
 
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my5cents is offline my5cents Post #17  June 11,2011, 11:35am
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Well the posts have been awesome, thank you! It's great to get different view points and I've definitely learned that the word "extreme" is relative. From reading all your posts, I think I'm more "extreme" than I thought I was, and many of the activities that you all list are things I've either done or wouldn't mind trying.

So it would seem it'd be on more of a case by case basis and I'll have to talk to my matches about how extreme they are, if they'd slow it down a bit for me, or introduce me to their sport (if I'm willing), and what kind of precautions they take.
 
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szgorzelski is offline szgorzelski Post #18  June 11,2011, 4:13pm
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Most of my extreme endeavors are all part of my job - US Army Paratrooper, so I get paid for adrenaline rushes. Pretty cool. I also ride a Harley, but I've never taken it to triple digits nor will I (probably) ever. The last thing I want is my daughters growing up knowing their daddy died trying to pop a wheelie at 100 MPH. Also, I don't ski very often, but when I do I like going down the slopes I have no business going down. I figure since if I get hurt I'll still get paid from work anyway, so what the heck.

As for a SO, I don't think it their wishes would affect what I do at all. I can always do that stuff without them. Considering most of it is part of my job, they have no choice. I would just as soon stop doing extreme stuff as I would stop doing any other thing someone else would want me to stop doing.
 
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Sparkles56 is offline Sparkles56 Post #19  June 11,2011, 5:48pm
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1quickslovak wrote :
I dated a girl back in high school partly because she drove a Miata and went autocrossing with her father. It was fun bragging that my girlfriend could out drive the guys.
I wouldn't call autocrossing an extreme sport. When I did this as a 20something even the F-stock cars didn't get above 60mph. Back then we dominated with Neons but I've been thinking about getting back into it, now that I have a car that is autocross-worthy...
 
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1quickslovak is offline 1quickslovak Post #20  June 13,2011, 11:33am
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Sparkles56 wrote :
I wouldn't call autocrossing an extreme sport. When I did this as a 20something even the F-stock cars didn't get above 60mph. Back then we dominated with Neons but I've been thinking about getting back into it, now that I have a car that is autocross-worthy...
Haha it's not. I've only seen a hand full of women at track days and exactly none in club racing, so it must be pretty extreme for women or they have absolutely no interest. As referenced in my previous post it is "relatively extreme." It's less crazy and alot more relaxing than driving in NYC or DC. Car control should be part of drivers ed. If only engineers ruled the world...
Last edited by 1quickslovak; June 13,2011 at 11:36am.
 
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