Curious - do men talk to their guy buddies about their online matches prior to meeting them?


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spyfilmvillain is offline spyfilmvillain Post #21  June 4,2011, 8:16pm
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Generally no.

I have to admit that once I asked two buddies of mine for some information once I was in OC with a match. My match was a member of one of the "Bible plus..." denominations (some denominations have additional books or writings that they consider hold equal authority with Scripture when it comes to their beliefs and practices). One friend is a missionary overseas and the other is the main Christian chaplain at a large hospital in town.

I told my friends I was communicating with a woman of this particular denomination and asked them what they knew of that belief system so I could tell if there were any "red flags" for me. My friends gave me a lot of good information, and then reminded me that she's an individual and her views may or may not line up completely with the doctrine of her denomination and its teachings. So I was happy to continue pursuing the relationship to see where it would lead while being mindful of the additional beliefs her denomination teaches.

As it turned out, the more we communicated the more it became clear to my match (and to me) that she really needed someone who shared the traditions of her particular denomination, so it ended before we ever had a first date and that's fine. I'm not interested in trying to change someone's belief system if they believe it is working for them--whether they are a different denomination of my religion or a different religion or even no religion. At the same time, I think it's important that people find and date others with shared values beliefs, but if I had to try to change someone to get her to believe what I do, then she wouldn't be the one for me.

But as a rule--no, I don't talk with guy friends about women I have met online but have not yet met in person.
 
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PizzaTime is offline PizzaTime Post #22  June 6,2011, 6:44pm
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I live with my two friends and always tell them about matches, and I usually ask for their advice about what I should do but it looks like I am in the minority for that.
 
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sr71blackbird is offline sr71blackbird Post #23  June 7,2011, 4:45pm
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PizzaTime wrote :
I live with my two friends and always tell them about matches, and I usually ask for their advice about what I should do but it looks like I am in the minority for that.
I have a male friend that I'm very close to and open with and regularly discuss who I'm talking with online.

I will admit that part of the reason why I included him in this process was to prove that "normal" girls exist online and it's something that he should try it. Certainly would be better than doing what he's doing now-which is nothing.
 
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InfiniteLoop is offline InfiniteLoop Post #24  June 12,2011, 3:14pm
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I have a close friend I'll sometimes discuss matches with if it gets to the meeting stage. He met his wife online, so I figure he's a pretty good source for advice/thoughts.
 
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