Height/Weight - Hypocritical or Unrealistic Expectations?


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tangochef is offline tangochef Post #1  June 1,2011, 9:07am
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There have been a lot of discussions about height and weight where a lot of guys do not want to date overweight women, and a lot of women do not want to date shorter men. I am generalising of course .

According to CDC here are the statistics that are eye opening for ages 20-74 in 2002. The bad news, says CDC is that average BMI has increased among adults from approximately 25 in 1960 to 28 in 2002, from barely overweight to grossly overweight:

Average Height for Men: 5'9.5"
Average Weight for Men: 191 lbs

Average Height for Women: 5'4"
Average Weight for Women: 164.3 lbs

Though the average weight for men aged 20-39 years increased by nearly 20 pounds over the last four decades, the increase was greater among older men:
Men between the ages of 40 and 49 were nearly 27 pounds heavier on average in 2002 compared to 1960.
Men between the ages of 50 and 59 were nearly 28 pounds heavier on average in 2002 compared to 1960.
Men between the ages of 60 and 74 were almost 33 pounds heavier on average in 2002 compared to 1960.


For women, the near opposite trend occurred:


Women aged 20-29 were nearly 29 pounds heavier on average in 2002 compared to 1960.
Women aged 40-49 were about 25½ pounds heavier on average in 2002 compared to 1960.
Women aged 60-74 were about 17½ pounds heavier on average in 2002 compared to 1960.


So, I'd submit that most people are NOT likely to date someone with their own BMI as they seem to want someone taller and/or slimmer than themselves.

Then comes the complaints that they have been on EH for months, and no good results.

Are people being hypocritical or having unrealistic expectations when they themselves do not measure up to their own standards?

As Robert Burns said:
"O wad some Power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!"
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #2  June 1,2011, 9:35am
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tangochef wrote :
For women, the near opposite trend occurred:

Women aged 20-29 were nearly 29 pounds heavier on average in 2002 compared to 1960.
Women aged 40-49 were about 25½ pounds heavier on average in 2002 compared to 1960.
Women aged 60-74 were about 17½ pounds heavier on average in 2002 compared to 1960.
I knew it! I just knew men should date older women.

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Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #3  June 1,2011, 10:41am
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tangochef wrote :
So, I'd submit that most people are NOT likely to date someone with their own BMI as they seem to want someone taller and/or slimmer than themselves.

Then comes the complaints that they have been on EH for months, and no good results.

Are people being hypocritical or having unrealistic expectations when they themselves do not measure up to their own standards?

As Robert Burns said:
"O wad some Power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!"
Absolutely yes, and this is one of my pet peeves. I never expect more in anyone else than I can provide myself. I want hot, I admit it, but I bring it to the table as well. And I find what I seek.
I have seen dozens of posts with males and females saying that they can't help who they are attracted to, they themselves might be heavy but they happen to prefer a slim partner. Then we get pages of whining about overweight people not deserving an attractive match NO sympathy at all. No one 'deserves' anything, we EARN it. Big difference.

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Xable is offline Xable Post #4  June 1,2011, 11:02am
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Agree with Red. It always bothers me when people demand something of their partner which they can't provide. You hear from people all the time that "no one" contacts them - blah blah blah. You do a little more digging and you find out they they are overweight or not that attractive BUT they demand an slim or attractive partner. Turns out that "no one" happens to be people who are also less attractive or overweight too but they refuse to consider those people.
 
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savman is offline savman Post #5  June 1,2011, 11:15am
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I want a woman with a similar BMI. Which puts me in a tough spot. I am 4 inches taller than the average women, but also 13 lbs lighter than the average woman. Many of the average women fine me too short, yet they still weigh more than I do.
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #6  June 1,2011, 11:26am
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savman wrote :
I want a woman with a similar BMI. Which puts me in a tough spot. I am 4 inches taller than the average women, but also 13 lbs lighter than the average woman. Many of the average women fine me too short, yet they still weigh more than I do.
And that is why they probably prefer a taller partner.

I am a taller woman, and I prefer a partner at least as tall as me. Couple that with the fact that many men do not wish to date a partner that is heavier than they are, and it should be pretty obvious why I might want to limit my search to men who are taller than me.

Could I "get over myself" and date a guy who is 3 inches shorter than me? Maybe. But it's unlikely he would really want to date a woman who is heavier than he is. It's a catch-22. Unless I happened to be a 5'9" beanpole, I am probably going to be heavier than that shorter guy.
 
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harnomygirl is offline harnomygirl Post #7  June 1,2011, 11:31am
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savman wrote :
I want a woman with a similar BMI. Which puts me in a tough spot. I am 4 inches taller than the average women, but also 13 lbs lighter than the average woman. Many of the average women fine me too short, yet they still weigh more than I do.
I've noticed in real life that women who are shorter than 5'5'' and very thin tend to gravitate towards men like you. I guess you seem less overbearing to them. Isn't that happening to you offline?
 
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myusernamehere is online now myusernamehere Post #8  June 1,2011, 11:32am
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It sure does seem that a lot of folks are unrealistic in their expectations. I've even tried sending communication to matches I didn't find at all attractive and still got no response.
 
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harnomygirl is offline harnomygirl Post #9  June 1,2011, 11:39am
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myusernamehere wrote :
It sure does seem that a lot of folks are unrealistic in their expectations. I've even tried sending communication to matches I didn't find at all attractive and still got no response.
Your profile could be the problem. Why not have it reviewed here? You could create a different screen name for the review, even add pictures, and we wouldn't know it was yours.

I think an anonymous submission would get the best feedback.
 
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Ingytravel is online now Ingytravel Post #10  June 1,2011, 11:46am
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myusernamehere wrote :
It sure does seem that a lot of folks are unrealistic in their expectations. I've even tried sending communication to matches I didn't find at all attractive and still got no response.
What purpose would this serve for you sending out communication to someone you don't find at all attractive? Would you actually date them...want to kiss them...have sex..etc?

This makes no sense to me..
 
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